Blah Blahbity Blah Blah Blah

So much has gone in the last few months, I don't know where to start. I am no longer the lonely pathetic man that most of you know me to be. :) I also have been working a lot, and career prospects are looking up. On top of that, the podcast continues to grow, and I've been hard at work on my next book, the short story collection. I am generally pretty happy and busy, and I miss those friends I have had so little contact with due to our conflicting schedules.

Speaking of missed friends, my friend Jonathan Stewart reminded me that I never wrote a review of Center Stage Player's Rocky Horror Show in October. it was FANTASTIC!!!! I saw it twice! Esther Stinson rocked the stage as Magenta. Jonathan wore a ridiculously cool costume leading the band, and Michael Newsome directed it wonderfully. I can't remember what Mary Sink did, but I remember she did it well, and that she was backstage. Ed Eblin cracked me up as the narrator. I wish I could write in more detail, but it has been a long time. I can't wait for the show next year, as well as the shows the company will do before then, because they always do a great job.

Ohio primary elections are today. I slept through four alarms, even though I set them early and went to bed early. I was actually late for work this morning, although not late enough to matter, they didn't care. But I had planned on going to vote before school. I have to go straight to my second job this evening, so I won't get to vote. Those of you who know me know that I am deeply disappointed. I follow the political stage quite loyally. Oh, well. This sucks.

I saw The Other Boleyn Girl this weekend. For my review of that, the season finale of Project Runway, New Amsterdam, and other stuff, check out the podcast I host, The Good, The Bad, & The Geeky at www.dribbleforkids.com/GBG or on iTunes.

Speaking of the podcast, my cohost Nick will be at MegaCon in Orlando, FL this weekend so Jon and I will be doing it without him, though we hope to have a guest fill in. I was not able to attend the convention, but my books are on sale there, and so is a new short story! Well, the short story is free. But only convention attendees will be able to get it, unless you personally know me and ask me nicely. :)

No Qop this time as the post is already too long, but expect another one soon!

Happy 2008!

This is the first post in a long while, and the first of the new year. Now that student teaching is over, I hope to be updating this blog once or twice a week again. Thank you all for bearing with me during my hiatus, and hope you will come back now that I have returned. I was on break from many things, not just the blog, but there is still new material on www.actorsnightmare.com with more to come later this week. Check it out for the latest content from me, as well as our weekly podcast, which is also available on iTunes. There is also a short film on that web site that Nick and I did for the holidays entitled The Apartment. Check it out.

MY TOP TEN TELEVISION PREMIERS OF 2007:
10. Life
9. The Big Bang Theory
8. Chuck
7. Private Practice
6. Reaper
5. Hidden Palms
4. Pushing Daisies
3. Dirty Sexy Money
2. Gossip Girl
1. Damages

Qop! (Pushing Daisies)
Chuck: You can't just touch someone's life and be done with it.
Ned: Yes, I can. That's how I roll.

Damages

I'm sure you people that still check this blog are getting tired of the very rare updates and vows to fix that. I truly will, come December, when student teaching is over, and I can afford to have a life again. Until then, I am behind on everything. It's already the 25th of the month and I haven't even started my short story for my book web site. I know, I know. I'm terrible. But I will prevail, and after December, you will feel my presence. Until then, if you want your regular does of Jimmy, check out the podcast I do with Nick Nitro, The Good, The Bad, & The Geeky. We update every week. We didn't always, but we have kept that schedule for a month or so, and we do intend to keep it going. It's really taking off. You can find it on iTunes, or at the show's web site. It's really something, I think, and we have lots more surprises in store for our loyal listeners! And yes, An Actor's Nightmare Book 3 will be out soon.

What could possibly break my once-again lengthy code of silence on the blog? Every once in awhile, a show comes along that just completely wows you. I mean, really. I know I like lots of shows, but the ones that join my top tier are few and far between. We're talking your Buffy the Vampire Slayers, your Deep Space Nines, your Sports Nights. Shows unique in nature, and long lasting in mind. The newest to join that rank: the first year drama Damages, which just completed its initial run on FX. While the show has not yet been picked up for a second season, they should just hand the Emmy and the Golden Globe to Glenn Close. While they're at it, give a supporting actor nod to Zeljko Ivanek (Live Free or Die Hard, Oz, The Manchurian Candidate). Rose Byrne stars, and Ted Danson and Tate Donavan round out the actors you need to know. I haven't watched the finale, it's paused on my tv screen right now, but I know without a doubt it will finish strong.

The show began in the summer, with poor Ellen (Byrne) in a trench coat covered in blood on a dark street. Over the ensuing thirteen weeks, we soon learned that her fiance was dead, and her boss, Patty Hughes (Close), may have tried to kill them both. Most of the story takes place in the months leading up to that fateful scenes as Patty and Ellen attempt to make a case against Ted Danson, but the action catches up the opening by the penultimate episode. I have much to say about this show, and will this Sunday on our podcast, but I can delay my anticipation no longer. It's on to the finale!

Qop!
"I predict that by the time I get back, you and David will be together again." ~ Patty Hughes (Glenn Close) to Ellen (Rose Byrne), Damages

It's Only Been Two Weeks

I'm sorry guys, but this time it's only been two weeks! I did much worse over the summer. I also pledge to return to the Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger posts in October. But for now I just want to mention how much I love student teaching! Don't get me wrong, I really wish I was getting paid, but in the past year I started to doubt if I even wanted to teach. However, with the school that I am at, the staff I am working with, and especially my mentor teacher, I am having a really good time. I can't wait to have my own classroom! It would be even better if it was at this school I am at now, but that's beside the point. I am just having a great time.
In the meantime, I am busting my ass to finish Book Three and get it out on time. I am still doing my last run through, but with my student teaching, part time job, etc., I haven't had a lot of time. Plus all of that tv I have to watch for our iTunes podcast, The Good, The Bad, and The Geeky. You should definitely check it out.
Anyway, I have to go clean and do homework. Lisa, Joe, and the gang are coming over for the season premiere of Heroes, so until next time, Bye!

Qop! (Freakazoid, how Nick ends TGTBATG)
"Get out of here with that cheese! You're a creep! Go away! We're having a good time, I tell you, %&#$&%$! Go have some coffee with some cream or something! Because I tell you something, this is a happy place!"

Alone

So I live alone now. This is, admittedly, probably a temporary situation. I have a roommate lined up for November, a possible one for December, and then maybe another one for next year. This is met with mixed feelings by me, honestly. I have only lived alone for two months. I like it a lot of the time. I can walk around, er, less than fully dressed. The temperature is what I want it set to. I can stay up late or go to bed early. The tv is always mine. Hell, every room in the house is mine. Yet, as I empty out the spare bedroom, that only had clothes and a bed in it anyway, in anticipation of the roommate coming in two months, I do feel a little happy. For one thing, I like to see people. And when I'm home alone all day, and every night, it gets lonely and sad. I think I would like a roommate. I think I would also like a bigger place to share with them, because while this place is big for me, it will not be big for two people. I use every inch in it except the spare room and a few kitchen cabinets. Ah, well. The mixed bag will stay for awhile now, and likely I won't be with roommate for long.

Qop! (this one's for you, Nick!)
"My name is Wil Wheaton. Jack Thompson can suck my balls. If you have a problem with that, go fuck yourself." ~ Wil Wheaton, Pax 07 Keynote Address

Bye Bye Birdie

For those of you who haven't noticed, while I never did post an official announcement, I have been on summer hiatus for the last two months. I have been extremely busy with work, school, moving, etc. I am very sorry if you missed me. By the way, very funny post here from Nick a few days ago. Scroll down and check it out. Thanks, Nick. I do not promise regular updates in August, either, but come September, I will be back in full force. I'll do an extra special Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger when I return.
But what could possibly bring me away from my lovely, and busy, summer to post? Is it Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? Nah, I covered that in our podcast, available through iTunes, The Good, The Bad, and The Geeky, which is not on summer hiatus. Could it be the discovery of adult flushable wipes, making toilet paper nearly obsolete? Nah, I've already told everyone I know about that. It's the summer musical Bye Bye Birdie by Center Stage Players! They perform at Axis downtown, and the show runs through next weekend. I highly recommend checking it out. And so, by popular demand, I break my break to give you My Review!
This was a fantastic show, from the chorus to the star. Mary Sink was a notable member of the chorus, and she was always worth keeping an eye on while onstage. So was Nikki, a character I had never heard of before, a gay male member of the all-girl Conrad Birdie fan club. Greg Holcombe was a natural for birdie, and R. Neil Palik and Emily Wise as the MacAfees kept me rolling. Equally fun were the kids, Nick Villilo, Zachary Justus, and especially Emily Edwards. They made Randolph, Hugo, and Kim come to life! I defintiely believed Emily's performance, and she perfectly balanced her love for Hugo and lust for Conrad. Kristin Gloege as Gloria and Jessica Hanley as Ursula were a delight, and Amber Thompson was also good as Rose. Stealing the show was Joanna Vansickle as Mae Peterson. I've seen several versions, and that character is always fun, but it was great joy to watch Joanna. And of course, the star of the show, my good friend Jonathan Stewart was Albert. He was awesome! Really a good chance to shine. From his facial expressions during "Put on a Happy Face", to his corny improved line, "Rose, I wish I knew how to quit you." kept me highly entertained. I was very impressed by him in this performance. As I said, the show is still running, so go check it out!

Qop! (Albert from Bye Bye Birdie, as portrayed by Jonathan Stewart in a slightly adjusted line)
" He's as sober as a judge! He subscribes to ev'ry charity! And his hobby's packing fudge!"

To Boldly Go

It's time for a big shift in gears in An Actor's Nightmare. For those of you who haven't known me forever, actors_nightmare@hotmail.com was an e-mail address I registered in SIXTH GRADE, many years ago. Around that time I launched a series of short comedy stories called Star Wreck: An Actor's Nightmare. Star Wreck became an important part of the now defunct UFK. Other stories were also written and posted, but that project was abandoned years ago. After many more years and several false starts, An Actor's Nightmare reemerged in 2003 an idea, and in early 2004 there was a webcomic. The animation was crappy, and the story was a little cheesy, but many of those first thirty or so pages made their way into the first few chapters of a book, called appropriately enough, An Actor's Nightmare Book One, published in 2005. This was quickly followed by An Actor's Nightmare Book Two in 2006, and the launch of Actor's Nightmare EXtra online.

The next year and a half is going to be big for An Actor's Nightmare. Book Three will be out around October, and ANEX stories will be posted through the end of the year, and beyond. I will be attending a convention in Columbus, OH over Thanksgiving weekend. An issue of Dribble for Kids (a popular webcomic by Nick Arganbright) written by me will begin appearing in the fall. Also, the online sitcom (text only) Excerpts From the Morning Show will premiere in September. By summer 2008, the paperback ANEX Volume One should be out with eighteen short stories (seven of which have never been seen before), and An Actor's Nightmare Book Four will be out later in the year. Beyond that, a wide variety of projects are planned.

Lastly, there is a rumor of a possible merger between An Actor's Nightmare and another online creative company that offers slightly different projects. This is by no means confirmed, but if it happens, it will be announced later this year. I won't go into details about what this would mean for AAN at this time, but it would be very exciting, and I promise to announce it here as soon as anything is confirmed, if it pans out.

Qops! (from A Prairie Home Companion)
Garrison Keillor: We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.

Lola Johnson: What if you die some day?
Garrison Keillor: I will die.
Lola Johnson: Don't you want people to remember you?
Garrison Keillor: I don't want them to be told to remember me.

And I'm Back

I have taken, recently, to posting several blogs at once and then just changing all of the dates and times so that it looks like I update my blog on a regular basis. I thought about doing that today, as if I haven't added a blog in two weeks, but I couldn't think of any entries to add, so you all get a brief reprieve. Next week may bring something different. The last couple of weeks have been very busy, finishing a semester at school, starting a new one, working two jobs, reading lots of Janet Evanovich books, watching Gilmore Girls with Amanda B., attending a concert wherein Nathan Haley performed, having drinks at bars with Sarah, seeing Spiderman 3, and watching season finales. Yet, I don't feel the need to write in length about all of that. Usually I do lots of television coverage on this blog, but that has probably changed almost permanently. Which is the topic of this week's blog.

Creatively, I have been branching out quite rapidly. The biggest news right now is The Good, The Bad, & The Geeky, a podcast available on iTunes or through Dribble for Kids. I cohost with my good friend Nick Arganbright. It is entertainment based, thus no need for me to write down all of that on here, as I already give my views in length in a public forum. We also read e-mails of listeners, talk movies, news, etc. We plan on doing an episode every other week or so, although we just did one yesterday and have plans to do one Saturday in a special Season Finale Spectacular two parter! If you didn't check out our previous podcast (The No Name Show), which was very irregular and unstructured, it is still available on iTunes, but this new one is drastically different.

Also, the issue I wrote for Dribble for Kids will begin appearing online in the not too distant future, An Actor's Nightmare Book 3 is still on schedule for a fall release, short stories have continued to appear on my web site (the most recent will be up within the week), and I plan to launch a series of sitcom scripts online in the fall, as if it were a real television show. Lots to keep me busy right now. Plus school, work, a possible move...

Stay tuned and I'll keep you updated!

Qop! (from The Simpsons: "24 Minutes" / 400th episode!)
(Jack Bauer) Chloe, I need those schematics now!
(Bart) Who is this?
(Jack) I'm Jack Bauer - who the hell are you?
(Bart) Me? I'm, uh, Ahmed Adoodie (pronounced "I Made a Doodie")
(Jack) Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoodie. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adoodie?
(Chloe) Ahmed Adoodie - wealthy Saudi financier. Disappeared into Afghanistan in the late '90s.
(Jack) Really?
(Chloe) No, Jack, it's a joke name. You're being set up!
(Jack) Dammit!

Death of The No Name Show

Few have heard of the fabled No Name Show, which made its appearance in early 2006, and occasionally delighted us with fifteen episodes over the past sixteen months, including six in the last couple of months alone. The radio show was intended to be like a morning show, hosted by Nick Nitro and Nathan Haley. From the start, Nathan had a bit of a hard time making the podcasts, and so the originally named 'Jimmy the Street Guy' often filled in as co-host. Wendy Webb took a turn or two when Nathan and Jimmy were both unavailable, and once Nick even did the show solo. Many times the show changed format and theme, and was often just rambling... But still, fifteen episodes were released, and no more will be forthcoming. I would recommend you go ahead and subsrcibe on iTunes, though, and download the full run of the show, which will probably still be available for some time, and invoke many chuckles. Highlights include when Nick was compared to Hitler during the Cat Vs. Dog battle, the various insults Jimmy suffered (especially when not present to defend himself), Nathan's distaste for anything good, and Wendy putting up with it with magnominity. For the final cast last night, all four cast members gathered for the first and last time on-air, along with a call-in guest, Paul, who told us all that we watch too much tv, and we agreed with him. It was a bittersweet hour, and a memorable one at that.

That being said, next Sunday, May 6, 2007 will be a pivotal date with the unveiling of a new program, much more structured, from Nick Nitro. The Good, The Bad, and The Geeky, co-hosted by Jimmy, and featuring a structure and schedule of entertainment news. There will be stories, important info, reviews, debates, guests, and tom foolerly. What's more, if you stay current with it, you will be informed of recording times and may call in and participate yourself! It will be a jovial time, and worth listening to, I'm sure. So sit tight gentle listeners, and prepare yourself for the first in what will probably be a series of Arganbright / Dailey joint projects, but more on that later. For now, listen!

Qop!
Let us share a moment of silence for the show that is no more, and not tarnish it with petty quotes.

Pure Plugging

This post is merely to plug two things I think everyone should check out, because they're awesome.

The first thing is a Myspace blog from my coworker at Champps, Tammy. Tammy is a really cool person, and this blog really hits home to anyone who has ever been a server or had a server. Plus it already has 37 comments so it's obvious it struck some nerves. Support your servers people!

Second, there is a podcast out there called The No Name Show, available on iTunes. You can do a search in your iTunes store or at iTune's website under 'Podcasts'. Nick is the host, and at times either Nathan or I cohost it with him. There are eleven 'shows' at present, but we will add more as time goes on. Even if a couple of months go by (as they have before) without a new entry, stay subscribed, because we WILL be back eventually. Recently, though, there have been three casts, so we're doing pretty good. Let us know what you think!


Qop! (from Tammy's blog)
"DON'T take it out on the server!!! I don't know how many times this has happened. I didn't go back there and cook it! Don't take it out on me and the tip you leave me! You're not hurting the cook or the management by tipping less. You're only hurting the server that did nothing wrong!"

I Have Class

No, seriously. I have class. Right now. I am in class. And very bored, even though class just started. It was supposed to start twenty minutes ago. I really don't want to be here. I just want to get to Dana's and have movie night.
Do you all read Dribble for Kids? If not, get over there right now. It's a fantastic comic, and this issue is hand drawn. It looks really neat. Different from the others. Yes, my friend Nick makes this comic, and it is the only comic I read, so I am biased. But it's a really good story. He just finished a huge arc called Lord of the Sweaters, that was pretty neat. This new issue is a bit depressing so far, but the new page features yours truly in full Klingon regalia. Cool, huh? Also, I wrote an upcoming issue, so check it out!
Ok, enough stump speech. I might actually pay a little attention to class now. Maybe.
Oh, and BTW, it was NOT the girl from Lost in TMNT.

Qop! (from TMNT)
Michelangelo: Did anyone get the license plate of that thing that hit us last night? It looked like your mom, dude!
[laughs]
Donatello: ...Yeah, that would make her your mom too, doofus.
Michelangelo: ...Nuts.

I Should Be in Bed

I should be in bed right now. I stayed up way too late finishing my cousin's Lego Star Wars. This Saturday morning class at Ashland is pointless for people withdecent computer skills. It is a four week lab for no credit, and I am only attending two sessions: the first one and this one. I was told I had to attend this one because we are 'learning' the library internet system, which is basic stuff. I'm so bored. I'm trying to type quietly. I wish I could just go home. Soon.

By the way, I now have my own daily comic strip. If you know me well, your first reaction is probably something like, "Oh my Jesus. Oh my Tom Cruise. Why in the hell would you try to draw, especially a strip a day! My six year old could do better, and he's parapalegic." Well, rest assured, that although the art may be bad, it will continue to improve, and I think the concept is solid. It's called Excerpts from The Morning Show, and is essentially highlights from a radio show called The Morning Show currently available in several markets and slowly spreading. The hosts are named, creatively, 'Nick' and 'Jimmy'. Shortly I will be adding a recurring sports caser, similiarly showing my creative drive by calling him 'Nate'. In a few weeks I'll add a new girl (she actually will be fictional), and probably an intern named 'David the Weasel'. Stay tuned and check back every day for the strip!

ISS

So I am working the ISS room today. I should be getting stuff done, but of course, I'm not. I've been trading surveys with Amanda, writing a second draft of an upcoming Dribble for Kids issue for Nick, and trying to put labels on the 185 blog entries I have so far. Yes, I don't like the new blogger because I have to go back and put labels on every entry so you people can easily search them. So far, I have applied many, many labels to over one hundred blog entries. Still more to go, unfortunately. I am just taking a quick break. I'm sure I will be right back to work on doing labels, but not finish them today. Those friends are mine that read this, check. Your very name may be a label. :)

Oh, and by the way, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is the title of the last Harry Potter book. A release date will be announced early in 2007. Thank you to Lisa for e-mailing me. I was actually just reading the press release when I saw the e-mail. I can't wait!

Qop!
"There once was a time when religion ruled the world, that time was known as the dark ages." ~Unknown

Some Fantastic Weekend

This was probably the best weekend I have ever had. I tried to think of better weekends, but was a bit at a loss. Granted, I did have to get up at 6am on Saturday to attend my grad school classes from 7:30-1:30, and then i was stuck in traffic for an hour right after class, but from there it only got better and better. I went to a family party celebrating my cousin Chris's 11th birthday. His birthday isn't until November, but it was fun. My Uncle Mike had the best costume, although some of the other family members dressed up as well, and all the costumes were fun. Then, though I don't care about sports, the Buckeyes totally kicked ass, which made the family happy. After a quick piece of pumpkin cake, I rushed downtown to meet my brother David and head to the Schottenstein Center. We arrived early and got great seats. There we saw, LIVE, Jon Stewart, Samantha Bee, Jason Jones, and The Daily Show's executive producer and head writer. There were some truly great moments, including Jon's long tirade on Dick Cheney, followed by his "Eh, he's all right" about Donald Rumsfeld. Then when Stewart led the O-H-I-O, and when Jason talked about being pregnant, and basically eveything out of Samantha's mouth. The crowd of over 12,000 people was great, booing Canada and OSU President Holbrook, and Jon characterisitcally scolded them for it. After that, I went to two Halloween parties. Things were even better because it was daylight savings, and though I stayed up until after 2, it was really only after 1. Awesome!
Sunday was just as great, if not better. I slept in, watched some episodes of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, then Nick picked me up. His parents bought us a bit of Don Pablo's for dinner, and then as my Christmas present, Nick had broughten me a great seat to the Barenaked Ladies concert, coincidentally, at the Schottenstein Center. He also bought me a B*L*A*M t-shirt in the style of M*A*S*H that advertised the Barenaked Ladies Are Me album tour. They sand for two hours and fifteen minutes. Although I got to bed way too late for my 5:30 wakeup time, it totally rocked. They played more than half of their new album, and one song off their next album, which will be released in February, only four months after the last one. Nick, like anyone who preordered or downloaded, has the new album already. They will likely be back in the spring for the second album, and I'm sure that we will attend. I got tons of great pictures. My only complaint was that they didn't play "Fun & Games", since they were in Columbus, Ohio, hot bed of the election, on a college campus, following up Jon Stewart, ten days before the election. Why not play your one blatant anti-Bush song? But technically, it is on the upcoming album, so I guess it made sense. All the songs were flawless, and Tyler's Feliz Halloween was definitely a highlight. It featured the whole band on different instruments than they usually play.
Ok, now back to school and work. Have a great week all!

Qop! ("Feliz Halloween" by Tyler of BNL)
Feliz Halloween, Feliz Halloween, Feliz Halloween, Prosper ano y felici-bean.
Jack-O-Lant!

I'm Going to See Jon Stewart

It is going to happen. I am going to see Jon Stewart. Next Saturday at OSU. I got shut out of the tv show, not unexpectedly, as there are so few tickets available, but I get to go to the big event. Thanks to my brother David for getting me the ticket. We're goin to have a ball.
Also, next Sunday I get to see the Barenaked Ladies. Thanks to Nick for that ticket. I can't wait until next weekend. Expect a great blog a week from Monday or Tuesday.
Right now I am tired. I stayed up until 1am working on cover design for Book 2 and story ideas for Book 4 with Nick. And I had a 7:30am class. Hence the randomness.
Ok. I have to go because I am still in class and we are going to watch Oprah.

Qop! (The Daily Show with Jon Stewart)
Stephen Colbert: After all, it was Thomas Jefferson who said "Everyone imposes his own system as far as his army can reach."
Jon Stewart: No, that was Stalin. Thomas Jefferson said that he'd "Rather have free press and no government, than a government and no free press".
Stephen Colbert: Well, what else would you expect from a slave-banging, Hitler-loving queer?

Harrison Ford: I don't really do action movies.
Jon Stewart: You were Indiana Jones.
Harrison Ford: Yeah, but...
Jon Stewart: And Jack Ryan.
Harrison Ford: I always saw Indiana Jones as a comedy.
Jon Stewart: Well, I can assure you it's not.
Harrison Ford: I'll have to let Spielberg know that. "Steve- not funny."
Jon Stewart: You know Spielberg?

DJ

In my last post, I vowed a weekly WOTF, TOTH. By weekly, I of course meant monthly, because sometimes I don't even post weekly. So look for the next installment in about 2-3 weeks. :) On books, though, I have gotten so much work done for the second installment of An Actor's Nightmare, due out in roughly six weeks. Thank you Nick from the bottom of my shoes for his work on the cover design. It is awesome! I can't wait for everyone to see it! Also, the first bimonthly short story is on schedule for a November 1st release, if I can contain my enthusiasm until then. Unlike my blog, the book is always ahead of schedule and up on time. I am also finding some time, albeit a little, to keep up on some of my shows. I have to say The Nine and Six Degrees are two fantastic new shows. Anyway, time to go once more, so until next time, I bid you adieu.

Qop! (from Boston Legal)
You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."

His Story

NICK: Wow. As I sit here, or should I say, stand here, playing music for the masses assembling at the Dub Pub, I just am shocked about how bad it sucks tonight here. I mean, we have a country bumpkin couple here wanting country, some guy said he wanted good crap to listen to and what songs I had that wasn’t crap, (which I laughed ‘cause the fucker was wasted and was twenty shades of drunk.)
So alas, here I am. I have no idea how many beers I have consumed, but I believe it’s definitely over like, four. Which for me by 11:30 is well… beyond good. Actually the saving grace of the night will be the journey to and the arrival at Jimmy’s apartment. Either way, I am staying there tonight and I am gonna just chill out and maybe watch some Clerks. Now, going out tonight is a major question; shall I grab a bite to eat on the way there? If so, what shall I grab? Barely anything is open really. I am hoping for some Taco Bell before I get there, but who knows. The nice thing is, it will save me the trouble of driving to Jimmy’s tomorrow when I should be relaxing on Father’s Day.
Shit.
I forgot to grab a card for Father’s Day for Dad. Mother fuckin’ puss bucket.
I wonder how Jimmy’s party is going?

JIMMY: Yay! People are here! Bob showed up and he and I ran to the store real quick. Can I just say how nice it is to have brothers old enough and mature enough and cool enough to hang out with? That’s been one of the best things about the past year or so. Anyway, we got home and Amanda showed up and we watched a sweet episode of Angel. I love that show. Then Kayla showed up. Last night was a really great party, for most of the night, and everyone had quite a bit to drink. Tonight it’s much more relaxed. I am drinking some more of that wine left over from the all day celebration a couple of weeks ago that didn’t actually happen and… well, never mind about that. I’m in a good mood so I don’t want to go into that right now.
Good. It’s time to play a game. People always try to watch movies and stuff during these things, and while I love movies and tv shows as much as the next guy if not more, it’s really hard to pay attention to that stuff during a party. This is just what I needed. A nice game of Scattergories, my favorite game, to distract me from all that has been going wrong in my life the last month or so. I really need that. I find myself lonely and craving company almost every night lately. I hate to be alone. It’s also killing my writing curve. I was writing every day and the last couple of weeks, nothing. I am in the middle of two books I need to get back to it.
Yipee. I am ahead by like fifteen points. I told you that I rock at this game. I wish the judging was better though. These people give no points for creativity. What’s the point of the game if you can’t give off the wall far out answers? I mean, that’s what Scattergories is all about. I thrive on the creative crap. Ah, well. That’s why I’m not winning by thirty points. Oop. Text message. Nick wants to know what’s going on. I’ll let him know. I hope we’re still rocking when he gets here. Maybe he’ll bring us, and by us I mean me, a cute, sweet girl that I can date for a year or two, then propose to, then marry, then move to the suburbs with our 2.4 adorable children and maybe a cat or two, where I support us by writing and… never mind. I need to reply to Nick.

NICK: Apparently… from the text message I just received from him… Scategories is going on. As I stand here, watching a group of fine young ass girls, looking beautiful, I can simply smile. Despite how slow it is and now as busy as the previous weeks, God gives me a luscious view of the fine females out tonight! Hm.

Qop! (Dr. Cox from Scrubs)
The kid's like... he's like a... have you ever seen a drunk baby?
[Carla stares at him]
Eh, it's a long story involving my son, a rum cake, and a low counter. Suffice to say, it turns out that, at first, it's... it's endearing to watch them bounce off of the walls, but man... you take your eyes off them for one second ...and bam! They got a bucket on their head, and they're plowing right through your brand new flat screen TV. God save me, it was barely out of the box.

Jimmy Dailey and the Ghetto Parking Spot

Once there was a young man name Jimmy Dailey. He did not know he was different from other men, growing up in his closet under the stairs. No, that was not a gay joke. Then one day Jimmy Dailey found the ghetto parking spot and his life changed forever.
Ok, happy Nick and Laura? We were at Lou Al's last night having a great time and there was a ghetto parking spot and they wanted me to write about it. Yay. Done. Now let's move on. :)
Actor's Nightmare Book One continues to sell decently and I am excited to start getting the word out. I have got some very positive feedback on it. Some people don't like the questions that aren't answered. Too bad. Go watch Lost. They don't answer questions either. That's not why I'm doing it. It's a long story that will take 9 books to tell. You won't get all the answers in the first one. Book Two is half done in it's first draft form. For those you waiting excitedly for another chapter in the saga, I'm guessing it will be out next fall. I will give you more details as I have them. Just be assured Auby will not wasted this time, you will get a shocking revelation about a character, several scenes from Book One will be revisited with another side to the story, and of course more of the beloved characters will die. If you have not started the series, why the hell not? Go to www.amazon.com and buy a copy today! Thanks all.

Qop! (from Pat Godwin's Gansta Folk)
I’m Patty G (he’s Patty G) and it’s all good (It’s all good) I'll pop a cap in your ass if you're in my neighborhood (Pat’s neighborhood) You ain't all that my brother What you say about my mother? I'm da bomb this aint no joke It's Gangsta Folk(oh he’s da bomb this aint no joke it’s gangsta folk) Yo dog check it out. My hoochies fly (his hoochies fly) Don’t diss my boo (what is a boo) You’ll end up like you know who (Tupac that’s who) Shout out to all my G’s, What’s up peeps! (Cracker please) I’m dope just take toke it’s gangsta folk (big ass toke) It's Gangsta Folk and we be chillin’ out Puffin’ on da Chronic ‘till we all folked out Ho’s in the hot tub 24/7 Homie aint no lie (nasty ho’s) I the baddest MC my rymes are phatI cock my Glock Beoch (Tru Dat!) Fo shizzle my izzle, dog keep on playin’ (we have no idea what he’s sayin’) I'm da bomb this aint no joke It's Gangsta Folk(oh he’s da bomb this aint no joke it’s gangsta folk) . Woooord!

My Life

It's time once again for "Have a Few Drinks, Can't Sleep, Evaluate My Life Online So The Whole World Can See", as I do periodically. So tonight was the big housewarming party. Or little party. Ok, so Nick, Lisa, and Jonathan showed up, and Nick slept half the time he was here. :) That's ok. I'm at a point in my life where I can do without a lot of the old friends whom I don't see all the time. Anyone reading this post is not included in that group. I am talking about the people I have no contact with at all anymore and have just become very peripheral to my life. And that's ok. A lot of them I don't really miss. Some people I still want in my life weren't here tonight, and that is ok too. I understand that some of them weren't nearby or had other things going on. We're cool. Don't worry. I am just impatient to get on with life and drop stupid school and part time job crap.
Speaking of part time jobs, I hate Target. I tried to convince myself it was fun because the people there seem cool, although none of them seem to want to open up and befriend me and discourage small talk. Ah, well. Again, no worries there. It doesn't bother me. I hope I'm not there too much longer. All the sub paperwork is being finished and I will be in the schools soon and at least able to majorly cut back my hours there, which I need to do because I really hate it and I'm working a whole bunch of days. Also, my book is being published so there may be some money there. I am getting paid by a percentage of the sales, not a lump sum, so here's hoping I sell enough copies to help me make some money and let me quit working at Target so I have time to work on more books. This is what is keeping me from sinking into depression right now because the book thing is really exciting. Besides, being a 'tortured soul' helps me to be a better writer.
And of course the last and most depressing thing is my love life, or lack thereof. I have become a lot more active in searching for people to at least go on dates with, but to no avail. I apologize to any friends who read this and are interested, but I don't return the interest. Trust me, I totally understand because I have friends that I like a lot who don't return the interest. And sometimes it pisses me off when they go for jerks, or even more when they go for nice guys who aren't me, but I sit there and grin and bear it because I really do care. However, it is well past time for me to get on with my love life. Please help me! Set me up with someone cute and cool! That's all I ask. I'm ready to date, I want to do it! :)

Qop! "You vagina is so big, it played the cave in Batman Begins!" ~ an excerpt from the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Andreson, which was surprisingly hilarious. Go Sarah Silverman and Bea Arthur!

P.S. I had to repost this to delete a comment from someone with a 'business oppurtunity'. NO SPAM ALLOWED ON THIS BLOG!!!

Steppin' Out

Okay, this is Nick. I just wanna say, that it's my party, so we don't give a mutha fuck it's my birthday.

Just kidding. Well, I give a fuck, but you know what I mean.

I just wanted to come on here, cos me and Jimmy are gonna go out and tear this mutha fucker off. Booyah.

Okay, Jimmy is sitting, er standing with a Smirnoff, impersonating Sean Connery and his mom, and having a good time. Of course, arguging, actually having an intelectual conversation regarding that I did not clarify who's mom, even though, I stated, being this is Nick typing, "his mom." Now we are talking about pronouns, and I- Jesus Christ my head is spinning.

Okay, and now he is going on about Orgazmo. Jesus and I love you Joe. Well, that's nice, but we'll all have to answer to Jesus, that fairy.

I'm not going to hell though, but a happy place. A special place. Full of special people. With a good fairy named Jesus, gives me lemonade, freshly squeezed, shaken, not stirred. And dear God, this IS the weirdest blog I've written.

And to clarify, I can talk about me and J.C. cos we down and shit. You dig? w0rd mutha fucker.

Okay, seriously though, admist the giggles and weird typings, and Jimmy FINALLY realizing I am typing this on his blog, we are going out to Arlington Cafe to see Joey Blayze. Check it out y'all y'all check it out!

Signing off,

Nick (and an already on his way there with 1 Smirnoff Jimmy)