Lots of Sunshine

Those of you who know me, know that I dislike being outside when it's very hot, especially without a good reason. And standing around watching people have fun is not a good reason. :) Search has been my lot for three days of the past six. I won't go into details, but thank goodness it won't continue. I HATE humidity. That's not to say I don't like to be outside. There are lots of fun things to do outside. I just hate being hot. It's why summer is my least favorite season.
Anyway, Memorial Day was great. We had a big family part at the 'rents' house. Lots of food and good times, and corn hole. Someone was even given the nickname 'The Hole', which I think was rather risque, but that's my family for you.
My mother decided to help one of her nieces get even with her older sister (the kids in question here are in Kindergarten and Fourth grade) by getting some water balloons. They all had a little fun tossing some balloons. Then my 17 year old brother Bob told me he needed my help. I said ok, as long as I don't get wet. He assured me I wouldn't. At first, his plan seemed sound. He and I help up two sides of a big slingshot, while another little cousin pulled it to the ground. The balloons sailed over the house and hit the unsuspecting people in the backyard. And the house is TALL, yet they did make it over. Well, mostly they missed people. But there was intent. Then my Uncle Joe, age 35 going on 11, the youngest of my mom's five siblings, comes running around the house and hits...you guess it...ME with a balloon! My shorts were soaked! So I helped them finish off the bucket, saving one balloon for myself. I start to run towards the backyard, payback on my mind, when my uncle comes running around, too, only feet in front of me. Direct hit to the chest! I left a welt. Oops. No hard feelings, though. Then my brother David, age nineteen, sprays me down with a hose, voiding the me not getting wet further. I managed to get the hose and soak David back. Lots of water was tossed around, and my uncle and I both ended up changing clothes, but it was a good time.

Qop! (from Kitchen Confidential)
Jack Bourdain: Tanya, let's talk. Let me start by saying you're very sweet and stylish. One might say that you... you put the "ho" in "hostess."
Tanya: Why, thank you!

To Boldly Go

It's time for a big shift in gears in An Actor's Nightmare. For those of you who haven't known me forever, actors_nightmare@hotmail.com was an e-mail address I registered in SIXTH GRADE, many years ago. Around that time I launched a series of short comedy stories called Star Wreck: An Actor's Nightmare. Star Wreck became an important part of the now defunct UFK. Other stories were also written and posted, but that project was abandoned years ago. After many more years and several false starts, An Actor's Nightmare reemerged in 2003 an idea, and in early 2004 there was a webcomic. The animation was crappy, and the story was a little cheesy, but many of those first thirty or so pages made their way into the first few chapters of a book, called appropriately enough, An Actor's Nightmare Book One, published in 2005. This was quickly followed by An Actor's Nightmare Book Two in 2006, and the launch of Actor's Nightmare EXtra online.

The next year and a half is going to be big for An Actor's Nightmare. Book Three will be out around October, and ANEX stories will be posted through the end of the year, and beyond. I will be attending a convention in Columbus, OH over Thanksgiving weekend. An issue of Dribble for Kids (a popular webcomic by Nick Arganbright) written by me will begin appearing in the fall. Also, the online sitcom (text only) Excerpts From the Morning Show will premiere in September. By summer 2008, the paperback ANEX Volume One should be out with eighteen short stories (seven of which have never been seen before), and An Actor's Nightmare Book Four will be out later in the year. Beyond that, a wide variety of projects are planned.

Lastly, there is a rumor of a possible merger between An Actor's Nightmare and another online creative company that offers slightly different projects. This is by no means confirmed, but if it happens, it will be announced later this year. I won't go into details about what this would mean for AAN at this time, but it would be very exciting, and I promise to announce it here as soon as anything is confirmed, if it pans out.

Qops! (from A Prairie Home Companion)
Garrison Keillor: We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.

Lola Johnson: What if you die some day?
Garrison Keillor: I will die.
Lola Johnson: Don't you want people to remember you?
Garrison Keillor: I don't want them to be told to remember me.

And I'm Back

I have taken, recently, to posting several blogs at once and then just changing all of the dates and times so that it looks like I update my blog on a regular basis. I thought about doing that today, as if I haven't added a blog in two weeks, but I couldn't think of any entries to add, so you all get a brief reprieve. Next week may bring something different. The last couple of weeks have been very busy, finishing a semester at school, starting a new one, working two jobs, reading lots of Janet Evanovich books, watching Gilmore Girls with Amanda B., attending a concert wherein Nathan Haley performed, having drinks at bars with Sarah, seeing Spiderman 3, and watching season finales. Yet, I don't feel the need to write in length about all of that. Usually I do lots of television coverage on this blog, but that has probably changed almost permanently. Which is the topic of this week's blog.

Creatively, I have been branching out quite rapidly. The biggest news right now is The Good, The Bad, & The Geeky, a podcast available on iTunes or through Dribble for Kids. I cohost with my good friend Nick Arganbright. It is entertainment based, thus no need for me to write down all of that on here, as I already give my views in length in a public forum. We also read e-mails of listeners, talk movies, news, etc. We plan on doing an episode every other week or so, although we just did one yesterday and have plans to do one Saturday in a special Season Finale Spectacular two parter! If you didn't check out our previous podcast (The No Name Show), which was very irregular and unstructured, it is still available on iTunes, but this new one is drastically different.

Also, the issue I wrote for Dribble for Kids will begin appearing online in the not too distant future, An Actor's Nightmare Book 3 is still on schedule for a fall release, short stories have continued to appear on my web site (the most recent will be up within the week), and I plan to launch a series of sitcom scripts online in the fall, as if it were a real television show. Lots to keep me busy right now. Plus school, work, a possible move...

Stay tuned and I'll keep you updated!

Qop! (from The Simpsons: "24 Minutes" / 400th episode!)
(Jack Bauer) Chloe, I need those schematics now!
(Bart) Who is this?
(Jack) I'm Jack Bauer - who the hell are you?
(Bart) Me? I'm, uh, Ahmed Adoodie (pronounced "I Made a Doodie")
(Jack) Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoodie. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adoodie?
(Chloe) Ahmed Adoodie - wealthy Saudi financier. Disappeared into Afghanistan in the late '90s.
(Jack) Really?
(Chloe) No, Jack, it's a joke name. You're being set up!
(Jack) Dammit!

Great Weekend

What a fantastic weekend I had! I don't want to go into all of the details, because some things are just not for public consumption, but a big shout out to anyone I came into contact with that made this weekend so much fun: Diane, Sarah, Chris, Susie, Jonathan, Michael, Lisa, Mary, and all the rest. Big shout out to Jonathan. I have to admit, the first time I saw the show, during your first song my attention still kept getting drawn to Michael with his funny hijinks. This time I really paid attention to you, and you were so great, I can't even tell you. Brilliant performance. Twice as funny as last week's show. And of course, Lisa, Michael, and Mary. You were all still fantastic, too. It was awesome. Thank you so much. Can't wait for the next show. Also, a shout out to my mom's garage sale, which netted my personally over $100 from my old junk. Yay!

Qop!
"How many geese in a gaggle?" ~ Lisa as Philia in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger May 2007 Edition

TIP OF MY HAT TO CENTER STAGE PRODUCTIONS
For putting on A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, and at least half of the gay males in the cast actually acted straight!
WAG OF MY FINGER TO AXIS NIGHTCLUB
You make us sit on bar stools with no backs for over two hours to see the great CTP shows!!!
TIP OF MY HAT TO THE MAN
For always bringing me down and keeping my humble.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO ICE-CREAM
It certainly is delicious, isn't it?
TIP OF MY HAT TO JENNIFER HUDSON
For winning the Oscar, and now being available for my viewing pleasure on DVD.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO GREY'S ANATOMY
For introducing so many great new cast members for the spinoff. The last thing I need right now is another show to watch!!!
TIP OF MY HAT TO LOST
For bringing the naysayers back into the fold with your brilliant plot twists.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO LOST
For setting a cancellation date of spring 2009. That's cutting and running! Haven't you learned anything from our president??? Never set a timetable!!! Now the Others just have to sit back and wait until the show goes off the air to kill our heroes.
TIP OF MY HAT TO GHOSTS
Because once I pretended to be one and scared the shit out of my friend and it was HILARIOUS!!!
WAG OF MY FINGER TO EVOLUTION
If I'm so evolved, how come I can't get a date? :)

Qop!
Eh, I don't feel like doing one today. Sorry.

On Notice / Dead to Me #2

For loyal readers of this blog, you may remember that last September I announced my own Dead to Me and On Notice boards, modeled after my idol, Stephen Colbert. They have not been updated in nearly eight months, so now I present for your pleasure my new lists! Many of the names have been left, but the descriptions changes. As always, there can only be dead per board, so I will give a brief account at the bottom of who got off the list. Lucky bastards. You had better hope that you never make this list. New additions are *ed

ON NOTICE
*Jonathan Stewart (my friend) - I'm sorry, but it's getting confusing to know two people with that name, and The Daily Show's host isn't going to change his. You've got until I do my next update to resolve the situation.
President George W. Bush - You have been moved from "DtM" to "ON" because it's way past time to stop ignoring you. Stand up and impeach the bastard!
J. K. Rowling - You stay here because I haven't read your new book yet, which is only the second longest of the series. Why in the hell isn't it the longest?
Movie Critis - I used to complain about your bad reviews, but lately it seems all the reviews have been good. Find a middle ground!
*Girls - For continuing to not be interested in me. One day I am going to give up on you, and then you'll know what you're missing hos! :)
Bones - There was an episode pulled off the air because of the Virginia Tech coverage stuff, but that episode has apprently disappeared into thin air. What gives?
Fox - You cancelled Drive, but I hadn't watched it yet, so you're not "DtM"...for now.
*Alcohol - I need to lose some wait and you are getting in my way, delicious devil!
Clogs - They look so cool, and yet make my feet stink. Eh, why mess with a truism?
Geese - They are EVIL!!!! I won't make you dead to me, though, because you'll attack anyway and then I'll be dead. Like Bush, we can't afford to ignore them.

DEAD TO ME
Katie Couric - Hahaha. You switch lists because you're getting fired.
*Anna Nicole - Replacing Steven Irwin for the 'No, seriously. She's dead.'
Walmart - You axis of evil. You're an axis all by yourself. You're here forever.
Macs - I don't care how user friendly you are. I will NEVER own one of you! Maybe. Yep, no need to change this entry either.
*ABC & NBC - for not airing new episodes of Grey's Anatomy, My Name is Earl and The Office because of a little rain. I'll consider not watching any of your shows any more, but seriously, that was a prick thing to do and I hate you for it. I had to pay $1.99 an episode on iTunes!
Ashland Financial Aid Office - You continue to perplex me!
Grizzly Bears - Stephen hates you. Enough said.
The International Astonomers - Why hasn't Pluto been reinstated as a planet yet? Did you not hear the outcry of a mourning public?
The Food Service Industry - Still working there... Part time, but still...
Anyone Who Hasn't Bought My Book - WHY NOT???????

Repreives - Democrats. Yes, you won in November. But be careful or I'll put you right back! Iran, Condaleeza Rice, Steven Irwin and Mike DeWine were removed from the list because they are now under the Who Cares? category.