Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger June 2007 Edition

TIP OF MY HAT TO iTUNES
For finally letting me get some music that's not locked out of every other program. Hurry up and finish the library please! Copyrights are for pussies. Except for my books. Then copyright rocks.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that Paris Hilton and Scooter Libby don't belong in jail. But while they're there, who are we going to be pissed off at for acting like total buffons and getting away with everything? It takes away the righteous indignation.
TIP OF MY HAT TO THE LAUGH FACTORY
For enslaving Jon Lovitz in Hollywood and spinning it as a good thing, when he got his record breaking contract that means he will perform every Wednesday night there until he dies.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO ABC
I don't want to wait until December for the latest seasons of Lost and Grey's Anatomy to come out on DVD. And the price increase? What were you thinking???
TIP OF MY HAT TO MERCURY
Despite recent worries, it turns out you haven't been poising us lately. Good for you.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO NON-SLIP SHOES
What do you have that my regular shoes don't? Special gripping action? Ha! Just because you keep from falling down, does that make you think you're better than other shoes?
TIP OF MY HAT TO OIL COMPANIES
Some people actually like being anally raped. On behalf of them, I thank you.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO THE GILMORE GIRLS
For being oh so seductively funny, and hooking me into yet another show. At least they're off the air and have a finite number of episodes. You evil temptresses.
TIP OF MY HAT TO YOUR MOM
It's nice that she's going to college. She can better herself there, and get plastered, making it much easier for me to sleep with her.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO COOL, JUNE DAYS
It's just not fair! You know how much I hate the heat, and you tease me, make me think that maybe this summer won't be so hot. But it will be!