January 2008

I fully expected to update this blog more often once my student teaching was done, but now I wonder if I ever will update as often as I once did. Probably not. Things have been very busy. I am still teaching, and working another job, and trying to have a social life. I have also been updating my web site frequently with reviews. Check them out! There are also plenty of new episodes of The Good, The Bad, & The Geeky, which is a great podcast! It has really been growing and solidifying what it is. There are now three hosts, including Jon. I'm sorry I don't have anything real to post here. I'm looking very forward to the season premiere of Lost on Thursday. If you know me, feel free to call me about coming over for it. There'll probably be a few people here. And that's, um, yeah that's all for now. I'll post something more fun soon. Have a good week, loyal readers!

Qop!
"Sir, there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder." ~ Spock, fooling a guard, Star Trek

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger June 2007 Edition

TIP OF MY HAT TO iTUNES
For finally letting me get some music that's not locked out of every other program. Hurry up and finish the library please! Copyrights are for pussies. Except for my books. Then copyright rocks.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that Paris Hilton and Scooter Libby don't belong in jail. But while they're there, who are we going to be pissed off at for acting like total buffons and getting away with everything? It takes away the righteous indignation.
TIP OF MY HAT TO THE LAUGH FACTORY
For enslaving Jon Lovitz in Hollywood and spinning it as a good thing, when he got his record breaking contract that means he will perform every Wednesday night there until he dies.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO ABC
I don't want to wait until December for the latest seasons of Lost and Grey's Anatomy to come out on DVD. And the price increase? What were you thinking???
TIP OF MY HAT TO MERCURY
Despite recent worries, it turns out you haven't been poising us lately. Good for you.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO NON-SLIP SHOES
What do you have that my regular shoes don't? Special gripping action? Ha! Just because you keep from falling down, does that make you think you're better than other shoes?
TIP OF MY HAT TO OIL COMPANIES
Some people actually like being anally raped. On behalf of them, I thank you.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO THE GILMORE GIRLS
For being oh so seductively funny, and hooking me into yet another show. At least they're off the air and have a finite number of episodes. You evil temptresses.
TIP OF MY HAT TO YOUR MOM
It's nice that she's going to college. She can better herself there, and get plastered, making it much easier for me to sleep with her.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO COOL, JUNE DAYS
It's just not fair! You know how much I hate the heat, and you tease me, make me think that maybe this summer won't be so hot. But it will be!

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger May 2007 Edition

TIP OF MY HAT TO CENTER STAGE PRODUCTIONS
For putting on A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, and at least half of the gay males in the cast actually acted straight!
WAG OF MY FINGER TO AXIS NIGHTCLUB
You make us sit on bar stools with no backs for over two hours to see the great CTP shows!!!
TIP OF MY HAT TO THE MAN
For always bringing me down and keeping my humble.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO ICE-CREAM
It certainly is delicious, isn't it?
TIP OF MY HAT TO JENNIFER HUDSON
For winning the Oscar, and now being available for my viewing pleasure on DVD.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO GREY'S ANATOMY
For introducing so many great new cast members for the spinoff. The last thing I need right now is another show to watch!!!
TIP OF MY HAT TO LOST
For bringing the naysayers back into the fold with your brilliant plot twists.
WAG OF MY FINGER TO LOST
For setting a cancellation date of spring 2009. That's cutting and running! Haven't you learned anything from our president??? Never set a timetable!!! Now the Others just have to sit back and wait until the show goes off the air to kill our heroes.
TIP OF MY HAT TO GHOSTS
Because once I pretended to be one and scared the shit out of my friend and it was HILARIOUS!!!
WAG OF MY FINGER TO EVOLUTION
If I'm so evolved, how come I can't get a date? :)

Qop!
Eh, I don't feel like doing one today. Sorry.

LOST - NO!!!

TV Guide's website has 'confirmed' that AT LEAST five cast members of LOST will DIE before this third season comes to an end. I am almost speechless. What in the hell!?! FIVE cast members??? Admittedly, the show has had a high death toll. There have been twenty two main characters over the first three seasons, and with these new numbers, that puts that death count at fourteen, more than half the of the cast! Nine castaways have left so far. Let's take a look at those, shall we?
Boone - Fell out of a plane and died from complications. (late Season 1)
Shannon - Accidentally shot to death by Ana Lucia in the jungle. (early Season 2)
Walt - Not dead, but kidnapped, and thus removed from the cast, and then later left the island with his father. (disappeared early Season 2, left island late Season 2)
Ana Lucia - Killed by Michael in the hatch. (late Season 2)
Libby - Killed by Michael when she caught him killing Ana Lucia. She never even got a flashback! (late Season 2)
Michael - Not dead, but left the island on a boat, and so left the show. (late Season 2)
Mr. Echo - Killed in the jungle. (late Season 3)
Nikki & Paolo - Buried alive after being bit by a paralyzing spider that made the others think they were dead. Only episode they actually had a good sized part in, thought they were considered main characters for more than half the season. (mid Season 3)

Now five more will be gone??? Who will it be? Let's look at the main characters and how likely I think it is that they will die. I rank them most likely to least.
Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley - Not at all likely. They are too essential to the story.
Claire - Nah. No one would care. Plus she and Jack need to figure out they're related.
Sayid - Ditto about no one caring. I'm not sure if that should push him closer to death, as he doesn't have any loose end story lines...
Desmond - Prior to this week, I would have put him at least likely, as his girlfriend Penny is definitely going to play a part in what's coming. But after last week, I wonder if it might be coming soon, and his time will be up. Still, someone needs to have happy love.
Sun & Jin - Sun is pregnant and pregnant women don't survive on the island. Also, Jin has been shown a bit more lately, but not in an essential capacity. Might he be next?
Locke - Was always important, but might this may be his final showdown coming up.
Juliet & Ben - They are evil and plotting against our heroes. Of course they're time is limited. But it might be more interesting if one survives and slowly reforms.
Charlie - His life has been saved four times, but death won't rest 'til it gets him.

Now of course next season the cast won't consist of just the nine left from the above list, but who will they add to beef it up? I'd like to see Bernard, Rose, Alex, and Rosseau get a promotion, but past experience tells me it will probably be new people. We'll see.

Qop!
"Lost on an island, Far from home. Lost on an island, but they're not alone." ~ 'Charlie' on the Jimmy Kimmel show, making up a theme song for the show

An Actor's Nightmare

Raise your hand if you've read at least part of An Actor's Nightmare. If your hand isn't up, why not? If you read my blog, you must know me, so please read my book. Ok, that sounded pathetic. :) Let me give you some reasons on why you should read An Actor's Nightmare.

10. It's like 500 pages long. Who doesn't like reading 500 page books? Also, An Actor's Nightmare Book Two is like 550 pages long, and Book Three (out this fall) will be even longer! Yay for long books! There will be NINE total. In your face Harry Potter. I will beat you!
9. People you know may be in it. Sort of. For legal reasons, they aren't. But some of the characters may have been inspired by real people. That's true. The characters really don't reflect the real people so much any more. Read it anyway.
8. You're my friend. I'm nice to you. Be nice to me and read my book. I'm not even saying you have to buy it. Borrow it. Or go to the Westerville or West Jefferson public libraries. They have copies. Other libraries might, too.
7. I may have let a little of my politics slip into Book Two. Just a bit. Down with Dictator Bush!
6. Flashbacks. There are lots of them. Every seven or eight chapters there is an Intermezzo with back story, much of it ancient. It's deep. Or so I imagine it to be.
5. Death. I kill main characters. Yes, I make you love people, and then I brutally rip them away from you. Hahahaha. I mean, cool deaths. Yeah, cool deaths.
4. The short story (#1-4 available free on the web site right now!) companion book, with seven stories not previously released, will be called ANEX (Actor's Nightmare EXtras). How cool is that title? Thanks Nancy for thinking of it! I mean, thanks me. Yeah, that's the ticket. It was all me.
3. My mom likes it. So does yours. At least, that's what she told me in bed last night. Snap!
2. Geese have nuclear weapons. What more do you need?

AND 1. I said please, goddamnit! What part of please don't you understand!?!

Qops! (from Lost)
Hurley: Great idea dude, go look inside the burning death hole.

Shannon: So, does all this - the tent, flowers - mean that we're serious?
Sayid: Quite definitely not. I do this for all the girls I meet on deserted islands.

Kate: Come on. You're going to see Jack.
Sawyer: Do I get a lollipop?

Mr. Artz: I know a clique when I see it. I teach high school, pally! You know, you people think you're the only ones on this island doing anything of value. Well, I've got news for you. There were forty other survivors of this plane crash and we are all people, too.

Danielle Rousseau: You've only got three choices: run, hide... or die.

Boone: [to Locke] John? You been using that wacky paste stuff that made me think my sister got eaten?

Sawyer: [faintly] I would've left you behind.
Michael: Shut up man, don't try that.
Sawyer: [even fainter] I did leave you behind.
Michael: Yeah well, good thing I ain't you.

Shannon: [after Hurley informs her Claire has been attacked] What? I am so not moving to the rape caves!

Desmond: Jack, I'm Desmond. Good luck, brother. See you in another life, yeah?

LOST

After catching up on the last few episodes, Lost has jumped to the top of my favorite shows list once more. Juliet's second flashback, and the surprise ending, led to me yelling at the screen at the top of my lungs at the television set. Thankfully, I was home alone, and so spared the embarrassment. Nikki & Paolo's episode was also awesome, and completely unexpected. I am looking forward to Desmond's third flashback, Ben's first, Charlie's next one (likely resulting, unfortunately, in his death), and even the season finale of yet another Jack episode, as it has promised to be shocking. But as thrilled as I have been, and as excited I am for the last few episodes of the season, I have found that I have forgotten a lot. I haven't rewatched any old episodes, ever. So I popped in Season One, which I remembered as being a bit dry and slow. Not the case. Perhaps it's because I knew where it was going, but I was riveted. I ended up watching twelve episodes, a full half of the season. I plan on watching the rest over the coming weeks, and Season 2 this summer. Ideally, I can buy and rewatch Season 3 in the fall before the Season 4 premiere, but we'll see. This show has it all. It's so smart, and involved. I really hope they do a Rosseau flashback soon, so we can see how everyone went crazy and why she had to kill them. I also want to know what has happened to Mr. Locke, whom I am become bored with until he blew up the sub and found his father on the island. The ratings have dropped, but the show keeps getting better. Let's hope it's kept on the air.

Qop! (from Lost)
Locke: [explaining why he wanted to let the island monster drag him off] I believe that I was being tested.
Jack: Tested?
Locke: Yeah, tested. I think... that's why you and I don't see eye-to-eye sometimes, Jack because you're a man of science.
Jack: Yeah, and what does that make you?
Locke: Me, well, I'm a man of faith. Do you really think all this... is an accident? That we, a group of strangers survived, many of us with just superficial injuries? Do you think we crashed on this place by coincidence, especially this place? We were brought here for a purpose, for a reason, all of us. Each one of us was brought here for a reason.
Jack: Brought here? And who brought us here, John?
Locke: The island. The island brought us here. This is no ordinary place, you've seen that, I know you have. But the island chose you, too, Jack. It's destiny.
Jack: Did you talk with Boone about destiny, John?
Locke: Boone was a sacrifice that the island demanded. What happened to him at that plane was a part of a chain of events that led us here that led us down a path, that led you and me to this day, to right now.
Jack: And where does that path end, John?
Locke: The path ends at the hatch. The hatch, Jack all of it. All of it happened so that we could open the hatch.
Jack: No, no, we're opening the hatch so that we can survive.
Locke: Survival is all relative, Jack.
Jack: I don't believe in destiny.
Locke: [pause] Yes, you do. You just don't know it yet.

I Have Class

No, seriously. I have class. Right now. I am in class. And very bored, even though class just started. It was supposed to start twenty minutes ago. I really don't want to be here. I just want to get to Dana's and have movie night.
Do you all read Dribble for Kids? If not, get over there right now. It's a fantastic comic, and this issue is hand drawn. It looks really neat. Different from the others. Yes, my friend Nick makes this comic, and it is the only comic I read, so I am biased. But it's a really good story. He just finished a huge arc called Lord of the Sweaters, that was pretty neat. This new issue is a bit depressing so far, but the new page features yours truly in full Klingon regalia. Cool, huh? Also, I wrote an upcoming issue, so check it out!
Ok, enough stump speech. I might actually pay a little attention to class now. Maybe.
Oh, and BTW, it was NOT the girl from Lost in TMNT.

Qop! (from TMNT)
Michelangelo: Did anyone get the license plate of that thing that hit us last night? It looked like your mom, dude!
[laughs]
Donatello: ...Yeah, that would make her your mom too, doofus.
Michelangelo: ...Nuts.

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger April 2007 Edition

It's April 2nd, but at least I am posting it this month, as this is only my third TOTHWOTF, and only my second keeping to the schedule. Yay!

Tip of the Hat to Lost
As long as Nikki and Paolo are actually dead. Fantastic episode.
Wag of the Finger to my New Manager at Champps
Learn how to make cuts!!!
Tip of the Hat to Steak Quesadillas
I have been eating these delicious things at Champps after work several times in the last few weeks, and they are quite tasty. Everyone should have some.
Wag of My Finger to Network Television
Every year they tease us with tantalizing morsels of good television, such as The Winner, Eyes, The Nine, and Reunion, and then they yank the plug. Some they even let on go long enough for me to fall in love with like What About Brian?, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and The Class. How dare you take away my shows and replace them with shit like Two & A Half Men!!!
Tip of My Hat to Congress
For finally passing a budget that stipulates a pullout from Iraq. Yes, I know it's a mess, but it's over, we can't do any more good without doubling our troops, and no one wants that. Give it up. We're done. Let us go home.
Wag of My Finger to Congress
Since only just over half of you are willing to pass the aforementioned law, you won't be able to overturn Premiere Dictator Bush's veto. Shame on you lame Congressional Republicans!
Tip of the Hat to China
Even though you have been rated our biggest threat for about the last decade, if not longer, you haven't attacked us yet. Thank you!
Wag of My Finger to Paper Cuts
You are small and insignificant. Quit hurting so badly! It's just not fair!

Qops! (from American Dad!)
Steve Smith: I touched her hand, her hand touched her boob. By the transitive property, I touched her boob! Algebra's awesome!

Roger the Alien: Is that a Chinese baby?
Stanley Smith: Sure is! Japanese, to be specific.

Stanley Smith: Son, if you ever get captured by any terrorists in the neighborhood and end up on al-Jazeera, just blink you location in Morse code. I'll have a bomb dropped on your location immediately.
Steve Smith: But, Dad, then I'd get killed too.
Stanley Smith: Ah, come on son, there are plenty of kids to play with in heaven. Your cousin Billy. That little girl from Poltergeist. She must be about 16 by now, you could totally tap that.

Hayley Smith: My mother stole my boyfriend!
Stanley Smith: And your boyfriend stole my wife! Let's get back at them by dating each other! Wait a minute... Daddy didn't think that one through.

April Fool's

Happy birthday Grandma! 76 years young today.

I walked into Champps tonight to discover a disturbing notice posted on the office door. Apparently there will be a meeting next Saturday morning at 7am, mandatory to all employees. It announced that Champps had been bought out and our location was to be renamed U-Cinema Bar & Grill. Made sense to me. We were right in front of a movie theater, afterall. The notice went on to say there would be hour changes, menu changes, and of course, theme changes. We would each be required to choose three characters from movies or television shows to dress up as. At this point, most of the staff stopped reading and began to loudly complain. Several threatened to work out when they read this. I kept reading and learned that a small stage would be installed, and every hour we would be required to perform skits and scenes. This is when a little bell went off in my head that today was April 1st. April Fool's Day. So as gullible as I am, I didn't fall for it nearly as much as many others, who only half read it. Still, mad props to TJ, for a fantastic April Fool's prank.

Qop!
"She said Paolo lies." ~ Hurley, Lost
(she actually said 'paralyzed' are they dead???)

Birthday Sharers

I have a Top Ten list today, but first some entertainment news. The season finale of What About Brian? is tonight, and Molly Willow, tv reporter for The Dispatch, whom I usually agree with seemed to think it would be the series finale, and that it was a good thing. That is one of my favorite shows! I loved it at first, and it got much better with some retooling of the cast this year. I will be deeply upset if this is the last episode ever tonight. Also, Shannon and Boone are on Lost this week. What the hell!?! And Billy Dee Williams. Gotta love Lando. And the Battlestar Galactica season finale last night was FANTASTIC!!! OMG!!! I can't believe who The Four are!!! And who is the last one? I have to wait until frackin' January to find out? Come on!

Ok, Top Ten People I'm Glad Share My Birthday (which is today, by the way)
10. J-Kwon - Ok, I don't even know who the rapper is. But I only found ten people who share my birthday. Although a Krogers clerk a couple of weeks ago should prob beat him for #10. And the fictional character of Capt. Kirk (Nimoy's dig on Shatner) also has this birthday. Let's call it a three way tie.
9. Martin Short - Sorry. I don't think he's been funny since Three Amigos.
8. Diana Ross - So, yeah. Um. Yeah.
7. Kenny Chesney - I actually own his greatest hits, though I haven't listened to them since I bought them. I was dating a country music fan at the time, who was in love with him.
6. Alan Arkin - I want to see Little Miss Sunshine!
5. James Caan - Great actor. Just great.
4. Steven Tyler - I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to fall asleep. Cause you'll probably be dead before I wake up, you old geezer. :)
3. Keira Knightley - Soooooooooo hot!
2. T. R. Knight - Yep, good ol' George from Grey's, even I'm still pissed with him for sleeping with Izzy. You're a married man, George! Tequilia is no excuse!

And #1. Leonard Nimoy. Spock will always be my #1. Yay Spock!


Qop! (I haven't really kept up with Idol since the final 24, but props to this quote)
"Did you know that Sanjaya is an ancient Indian name meaning 'William Hung'?" ~ Jay Leno

LOST is a PUZZLE!!!

There are a series of FOUR Lost puzzles out, and there are no pictures to go by. I really wanted them when I saw them at Barnes & Noble before Christmas, but they retail for like $15 a piece! Then I found them last week on the clearance table for only $1! Well, I found two of them. They had two copies of #1 and two copies of #3. For that price, I bought them all, and passed one of each to Jonathan. They are each 1000 pieces. So it takes forever to put them together. When you finally do get it put together, it is just a series of scenes from the show. Then you have to carefully flip the whole thing over and turn off the lights, and letters on the back glow in the dark! Apparently, though, its all coded, and you have to put together all four to figure out the spoilers. I spent a long time this weekend on #1: The Hatch. Thank you David, Bob, Malissa, and Lauren for helping me to finish in just four days! The other ones won't come nearly so quick.

Tomorrow, provided my Ebay box arrives, I will be starting #2: The Others, and then there is #3: The Numbers and #4 Before the Crash. #4 was only released a couple of weeks ago so I don't know when I'll get it. Lots to do! I don't have time for this. Why did I even start??? Still, you have to agree, its way cool!

Speaking of Lost, the recent episodes have been very good. I know that the Hurley episode didn't advance the arcs, but the Hurley / Gin / Sawyer / Charlie stuff was just fantastic dialogue and acting. The Jack episode was lame, like him, but Juliet was pretty good, and Desmond was one of the best to date!

Qop! (from Sealab 2021)
[Discussing what they would have if their brains were in robots]
Captain Murphy: Wait a minute, he gets eye beams, but I can't get x-ray vision?
Sparks: Okay... everybody gets x-ray vision.
Captain Murphy: Yeah, and big chainsaw hands!

Marco: Once again, your stupidity has killed us!

Derek 'Stormy' Waters: Okay, okay. So, say I put my brain in a robot body and there's a war. Robots versus humans. What side am I on?
Debbie DuPree: Humans! You have a human brain.
Sparks: But... the humans discriminate against you. You can't even vote!
Marco: We'd better not have to live on a reservation. That would really chap my caboose.
Captain Murphy: Yeah, but... nobody knows you're a robot. You look the same.
Debbie DuPree: Uh, uh. Dogs know. That's how the humans hunt you.
Derek 'Stormy' Waters: They're gonna' hunt me? For sport?
Marco: That's why we have to CRUSH mankind! So you might as well get on board for the big win, Stormy.

Snow, Snow, Go Away

Ok, I secretly loved having three days off this week. I had my TiVo completely empty for the first time since I got it, as of Wednesday. Then Wednesday night Lost, Knights of Prosperity, and American Idol recorded, so now it's not empty. But briefly, it was nice. However, as this is the last week I am going to get paid for awhile, I needed the money, and now I'm screwed. I did get to work today for a whopping hour and a half, but I got paid for a full day, so I'm not really complaining. I am scheduled tomorrow, too, so we'll see. Next Monday begins my three week multicultural experience at Praire Lincoln Elementary School in the Southwestern district. I have mixed feelings on this. I mean, I'll bet it's a good school, and it'll be fun and all, but it'll be a ton of work coming at a time when I'm very busy (I know, I know. I should have used my snow days more wisely), and plus, I won't be paid for it. I have to pay Ashland for it, actually, more than I would have made in those three weeks. Actually, about the same. But that is ridiculous. They should just let me sub out there for a few weeks or something. Anyway, I is a poor man.

Also, I hope you have been enjoying my new comic strip, Excerpts from The Morning Show. I haven't been real regular in my posting. That means sometimes the day's strip gets posted the night before, sometimes it's late in the day, or once even the next day (tomorrow's is already up)., but I've gotten it drawn out and scanned in for the next month so it's just a matter of remembering to log in and put it up.

And I wrote half my prologue for An Actor's Nightmare Book Four today, which was a totally bad idea, as now I want to keep writing, and the next three weeks will be insanely busy. But I love the series, and it's been killing me to take a break, and I am very happy with what I've written so far, so screw it. It's fun. :)

Qop!
"Rape is just surprise sex." ~ My brother David. He named his Facebook Group that. Don't worry, he got banned from Facebook.

LOST: Season Two

Ok, so if you watched last week's Lost, you know that there are crazy things going on on that little island. Everyone assumes that Ana is dead, and Michelle Rodriguez admitted that her character wasn't supposed to be on for more than a season in the first place, but what about Libby? She took two bullets, but whether she is dead or not has been hotly debated. For one thing, in next week's previews one character specifically said "She died", not "they died". Also, Ana had just come to terms with something major in her life, as had Shannon and Boone before their deaths. Libby didn't have the moral quandry, so she shouldn't be dead. I hope. She is the only main character who hasn't had a flashback, whereas even Rose and Bernard had one (I'm not complaining; they should be main characters).
Who is Jack's sister (or half sister)? His father was looking for his daughter. Some have speculated it might be Kate because the woman and the house looked familiar, but Kate's mom was in Iowa so that isn't likely. Some speculated that it might be Claire, or Claire's friend Charlotte, as they were Australian. And why did Ana Lucia call him Dad when he went to get out of the car at the bar? Hmm. But we saw Ana's mom in the states, and the blond was clearly not Ana's mom. Of course, when he was yelling at the blond about wanting to see his daughter, maybe he was referring to Ana, who was in the car. I don't know.
Next question, is Michael an other? If not, why did he kill Ana and Libby? And did he kill Henry or rescue him?
And, who is the father of Claire's baby? It has been speculated as Sawyer or Jack's father, both ladies' men in Australia, although Jack's father got there a little late for the time frame to make sense, unless he had been there before.
Lastly, was is Libby's connection to Desmond? It has been leaked that in the finale, she was have a flashback scene with him.
Now if you don't know Lost, I'm sorry for the ramblinbgs, but what the hell is going on? Almost two season gone and so many unanswered questions.

Musings Part 1,383,292... or so it seems :)

So I've been watching Dawson's Creek (Lisa, you can read this. I won't spoil anything). The final season came out and of course I'm addicted to watching it, and of course being emotionally moved, sometimes to tears, as Dawson often does to me. But instead of getting into that, because I don't want to spoil anything for Lisa, I've been thinking about my life and intrests. When I was younger, I read constantly. I was incluenced greatly by Judy Blume, Beverly Clearly, Bruce Coville, Lynn Reid Banks, L. Frank Baum... and then later by Peter David, J.K. Rowling, Diane Carey, and many others. It was probably part of the reason I turned to writing. I wrote my first chapter book in 3rd grade. I have been writing ever since. In contrast, tv meant very little to me. A couple of years ago, however, I discovered what great storytelling can exist on tv. Yes, I still do enjoy the occasional dumb sitcom, but my fascination with tv stems from my fascination with storytelling, not because I'm a couch potato junkie. I couldn't imagine tv shows as good as books until I discovered Star Trek: Deep Space 9, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dawson's Creek, Firefly, Felicity, Lost, 24, and a host of others. The people that create this stuff (Joss Whedon, Ira Steven Behr, J.J. Abrams, etc.) are every bit as good a writer as the authors I loved. The actors they choose bring their stories to life, and while I still love books, there's a lot to be said for television, which is now in it's renaisance. Especially the serial series. When I was writing my first published book, I was just starting to discover the tv world. I think it did influence my writing. I imagined that book as a television season, and I would be thrilled beyond measure if someday it became one. I like to tell a serial story, where the part fit together, the story goes on for years, but it's one long story. One that is complicated, with characters that grow and change. I don't think I'm awesome at it, but I'm not ashamed of my first book, and I think my stories will continue to get better. I live life through my stories since I'm not leading the life I dream of. If I'm lucky, someday I will get to. We'll see. If you haven't read my book, please do so, then if you like it tell everyone. I will follow my dream of telling stories. In the meantime, I'm back to Dawson and watching others' stories. I need to know what's going to happen to Dawson, Joey, Pacey, Jenn, Jack, Grams, Todd, Audrey, Natasha, and the rest!

Qop! (from Season Six of Dawson's Creek)
Joey: Dawson, I'm sorry I don't have the same dreams I had when I was 15 years old, and I'm sorry that I moved on faster than you did, but you know what? Maybe not everything that happens to you is my fault! And maybe just because I want more from my life than...
Dawson: More than what? More than us? You don't know, do you? You've never known. The entire time I've known you, all you've wanted to do is escape. From me, from Capeside. I mean, you say that I'm the dreamer. I'm the one who doesn't wanna live in the real world. Well, I'm doing it, Joey. Right now. I'm living in the real world. It's you who wants the fantasy

Random TV Mouthoff

Ok, so the string of shows that I try to keep up with have been frustrating me recently, so hear goes the mouthing off in no particular order. Audrey is not a villian, and they had better not kill of D.B. on 24. Can't wait for Michelle Forbes on Prison Break, and I think Mexican guy is gonna save the day on the execution. Why isn't Ted chasing after his girlfriend, or at least hooking up with Robin on How I Met Your Mother. I am sorry Lost but I am sick of your damn reruns. The West Wing has only three episodes left. I'm glad Toby is getting his focus and I hope he gets cleared even if he doesn't deserve it. Josh had better get back with Donna. Oh, and I hope they find Ainsley-Hayes in the basement. Grey's Anatomy continues to deliver consistently. Take a cue Desperate Housewives, whose place it has switched, although DW has it's moments. The Loop is good, Free Ride is ok, and Sons & Daughters is on it's last leg with me, even though it just premiered. I miss Joey. One episode back and it's gone again. Maybe it's for the best. Four Kings is back and good, Out of Practice is almost back, and where did Crumbs go? I couldn't care less about American Idol anymore. Mandisa is going to lose and there's not really anyone else great left. Sorry Paris. On Will & Grace, I am disappointed Taye ended up being such an ass. Well, Grace will get with Leo and Will will get with the policeman and Jack will be disappointed, but keep chasing. I am already showing that I watch too much tv, aren't I? If it weren't for the actors on Bones I would have stopped watching, although it is good. And Veronica Mars is going to have a thrilling end. Can't think of anything else. Thank goodness these shows aren't on every week or I'd be dead.

Qop! (24)
"Who is your informant?"
"Audrey Rains."
"No!"
"Everyone has their price."

Lost

So I've been missing from this blog for nearly a month. I missed two weeks posting! I am sorry people. No, my plane did not go down on a desert island. My computer was captured by a virus, my cell phone was stolen, and I was battling two jobs and going through kitty shots and fixings and dealing with lots of other excuses, none of which exhume me from logging on for ten minutes to give you an update. I'm sorry. To be even ruder, I am only popping in for a quick second today. I have 24 of my 25 chapters written for Book Two, but only have about 15 typed up so I have lots of work to do that I can't wait to get back to. Speaking of the book series, my first official signing will be Monday, March 13 at 7pm at the Hurt Battelle Memorial Library. Check out my web site for more info. Hope to see you there!

Qop!
"Don't write anything down. Don't let anyone take pictures. And if all else fails, Deny Deny Deny!!!" ~ Chick McGee, The Bob & Tom Show (my family will get it:))

Jimmy Dailey and the Ghetto Parking Spot

Once there was a young man name Jimmy Dailey. He did not know he was different from other men, growing up in his closet under the stairs. No, that was not a gay joke. Then one day Jimmy Dailey found the ghetto parking spot and his life changed forever.
Ok, happy Nick and Laura? We were at Lou Al's last night having a great time and there was a ghetto parking spot and they wanted me to write about it. Yay. Done. Now let's move on. :)
Actor's Nightmare Book One continues to sell decently and I am excited to start getting the word out. I have got some very positive feedback on it. Some people don't like the questions that aren't answered. Too bad. Go watch Lost. They don't answer questions either. That's not why I'm doing it. It's a long story that will take 9 books to tell. You won't get all the answers in the first one. Book Two is half done in it's first draft form. For those you waiting excitedly for another chapter in the saga, I'm guessing it will be out next fall. I will give you more details as I have them. Just be assured Auby will not wasted this time, you will get a shocking revelation about a character, several scenes from Book One will be revisited with another side to the story, and of course more of the beloved characters will die. If you have not started the series, why the hell not? Go to www.amazon.com and buy a copy today! Thanks all.

Qop! (from Pat Godwin's Gansta Folk)
I’m Patty G (he’s Patty G) and it’s all good (It’s all good) I'll pop a cap in your ass if you're in my neighborhood (Pat’s neighborhood) You ain't all that my brother What you say about my mother? I'm da bomb this aint no joke It's Gangsta Folk(oh he’s da bomb this aint no joke it’s gangsta folk) Yo dog check it out. My hoochies fly (his hoochies fly) Don’t diss my boo (what is a boo) You’ll end up like you know who (Tupac that’s who) Shout out to all my G’s, What’s up peeps! (Cracker please) I’m dope just take toke it’s gangsta folk (big ass toke) It's Gangsta Folk and we be chillin’ out Puffin’ on da Chronic ‘till we all folked out Ho’s in the hot tub 24/7 Homie aint no lie (nasty ho’s) I the baddest MC my rymes are phatI cock my Glock Beoch (Tru Dat!) Fo shizzle my izzle, dog keep on playin’ (we have no idea what he’s sayin’) I'm da bomb this aint no joke It's Gangsta Folk(oh he’s da bomb this aint no joke it’s gangsta folk) . Woooord!

Season Opener Awards

These awards are for just the first few weeks of the season. Pleas let me know your pics, through e-mail (vote@actorsnightmare.com) perferably, and then I'll choose winners, mostly by what you go by if you vote, and post them in a few days.
BEST GUEST STAR
Cha Chi on Arrested Development
Rupert Evert on Boston Legal
Janeine Garafolo on The West Wing
Christine Baranski on Ghost Whisperer
NEW SERIES MOST LIKELY TO GET CANCELLED FIRST (Not Worst)
The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
Invasion (which I already gave up on)
Out of Practice
Command in Chief
Freddie
Night Stalker
How I Met Your Mother
OLD SERIES MAY NOT MAKE IT THROUGH THE SEASON
Joey
Will & Grace
Alias
Two And A Half Men
BEST NEW SHOW
My Name Is Earl
Everybody Hates Chris
Ghost Whisperer
Prison Break
Reunion
WORST NEW SHOW
Invasion
Everybody Hates Chris
Bones
Out of Practice
BEST ACTOR (New Cast Members Only)
Alan Alda The West Wing
David Borenanaz Bones
Brent Spiner Threshold
Rob Benedict Threshold
Neil Patrick Harris How I Met Your Mother
BEST ACTRESS (New Cast Members Only)
Emily Deschanel Bones
Charismas Carpenter Veronica Mars
Alfre Woodard Desperate Housewives
Michelle Rodriguez Lost
Stockard Channing Out of Practice
BEST NEW THEME SONG
Reunion
Prison Break
Bones
Ghost Whisperer
Commander in Chief
BEST ANIMATED / VARIETY SHOW
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Family Guy
American Dad
Is there really another nominee?
SHOW THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MENTIONED ABOVE BUT WASN'T
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Kitchen Confidential
King of Queens
Hot Properties

Qop!
"Dear Buddha, I would like a pony and a plastic rocket." ~ Captain Mal, Serenity, Again, Go See!

Premiere Season Part Two of Two

FOR VERY IMPORTANT AND GREAT WEST WING NEWS, READ IMMEDIATELY!
I have to take a quick break and talk about The West Wing (Sunday, 8pm, NBC) before anything else. I miss Joshua Malina, I miss Stockard Channing, and I especially miss Janel Maloney as Donna, who has to come back before the end! This season will kind of be like a series finale for the cast we know and love, as evidenced by the great opening. I think they've already given away the new president, but I'll live. What's really cool and exciting is that November 6th's epsiode will be LIVE!!! Not only that, it will only feature two cast members: Alan Alda and Jimmy Smits. Why, you may ask? They are actually going to do a full out debate in character! It will be great fun. Don't miss it. No word on who the moderator will be yet, but we should only see the 3 of them.

And now the long awaited finale of my premiere season 2005 (minus 24 and The Cobert Report, which won't premiere for awhile)... DISCLAIMER: I did not yet watch tonight's shows so all shows are current through yesterday. From here on out through the rest of the season I will only mention spectacular things about shows.
Commander in Chief (Tuesday, 9pm, ABC)~ Gena Davis stars in this great concept of a woman thrust into presidentcy when the president dies, although it has a weak script. She looks a bit too plastic, still it is enjoyable, and has some great moment. I think I'll give it a fair chance this year. Donald Sutherland also stars as next in line after Davis, and wanting the job.
Boston Legal (Tuesday, 10pm, ABC)~ The opening two parter was enough to satisfy anyone missing the amazing series. Heather Locklear added some fun, the new interns were great (well, the guy was), and Rupert Everett completed the fantastic shows. He even translater 'cello' in court and brought a band to perform for another judge. He will be stealing Rhona Mitra away, who has dropped from the ending credits. And ending with Betty White killing the short guy (a.k.a. Beverly Leslie from Will & Grace) was a nice touch.
Close to Home (Tuesday, 10pm, CBS) ~ I like it. Nice, warm, friendly, and still mysterious. The main character, formerly star of Committed, was great, and I enjoy Christian Kane (Lindsay from Angel) as her husband. Not break out hit, but good.
Night Stalker (Thursday, 9pm, ABC) ~ Bad special affects, bad writing. Stuart Townsend and Gabrielle Union will keep me coming back until it sucks even worse, but it's not great.
Veronice Mars (Wednesday, 9pm, UPN) ~ Great strong start with more murder! Veronica should have died, but I'm glad she didn't! Kevin Smith's guest apperance as a clerk in Week Two was fun, and I look forward to Joss Whedon's car dealership in Week Six. Steve Guttenberg is fun, and Charisma Carpenter is out and out sexy. "Can Beaver and Dick come out and play?" Can't wait for Alyson Hannigan and Charisma to do a scene together.
Alias (Thursday, 8pm, ABC) ~ Strong start. I will miss Michael Vartan, but his death was very emotional. Lisa swears he's not dead, but I don't believe her. I think she's grasping straws. We'll see. I'll also miss Nadia and Weiss, but I look forward to Amy Acker's new role. Now they need Lena Olin and Amanda Foreman back and the show may survive. Here's hoping it doesn't jump the shark.
Will & Grace (Thursday, 8:30, NBC) ~ We all knew the live opening would result in goofs, but it was still cool. I look forward to Harry Connick's return. This final season will probably be all right, although don't look for the best episodes of the series.
Ghost Whisperer (Friday, 8pm, CBS) ~ The surprise breakout hit of the season! It's great! I love it! Only watched it for the eye candy of Jennifer Love Hewitt, but oh so glad I did. I highly recomment to everyone. Every episode will make you cry!
Desperate Housewives (Sunday, 8pm, ABC) ~ In the words of Michael my roommate, we returned to an old friend. Still edgy, still fabulous, still amazing. Bree is definitely shining for me this season, and so if Alfre. Go DW!
Grey's Anatomy (Sunday, 9pm, ABC) ~ Entering it's sophomore year, I can finally enjoy this show. The first season was rough and hard to get into, but it's finding it's groove. I like.
Saturday Night Live (Saturday, 11:30pm, NBC) ~ Steve Carrel hosted, and was not breakout amazing. The best bit was the animation of the plane crashing and everyone running, although second place goes to the impression off between the new guys, and third goes to Mike Myer's appearance. I miss Tina Fey. Horatio was funny despite his best efforts to screw up his lines. We need Tina back! She's had the baby like almost two weeks ago! Get back to work! Sadly, Maya will be joining her soon.
America's Next Top Model ~ Nothing to report. Not great. Not good. I'll watch it cause others are and I'm in the room. Plus reality television, despite sucking, is addicting.
Apprentice: Martha Stewart ~ I didn't watch last night because they moved it to compete with Lost (and Veronica Mars), which is it's death wish. The show is pretty much canelled, which is too bad because for once reality tv was good.

Qop!
"Been more'n a year since I had anything twixt my nethers didn't run on batteries!" ~ Kaylee, Serenity, Awesome Movie! GO SEE!

Premiere Season Part One of Two

Sorry it has been awhile since my last post. I wanted to watch as many premieres as I could before I did more reviews, and I didn't have much else to talk about. Here is Part One of Two on my big premiere review! I did a few reviews before this, but this is a much bigger one, and will be followed next week when the rest of the shows (except The Colbert Report, which doesn't premiere until October 17th) have premiered.
Arrested Development (Monday, Fox, 8pm) ~ I had never seen the show until the Season Three premiere, but wow is it amazing! This episode dealt with George Sr. having escaped and been replaced by his brother Oscar in jail. Michael blows off promises to George Michael and Job to go find his father, but George Michael ends up in Reno anyway, and the two of them are soon kidnapped by Geroge Sr. Meanwhile, Lindsey sets off to win Tobias back, not knowing that Kitty dumped Tobias and Tobias is now a waiter instead of a member of Blue Man Group (George Sr got the Blue Man part). When Lindsey arrives, she finds Tobias making out with their lawyer, played by Henry Winkler, who is in full Blue Man makeup. So are those two closeted homos going to get together? Who knows? Now George Michael is waiting to make out again with his cousin Maybe, who is making out with her crush, Steve Holt, who is actually her uncle Job's son, and so is her cousin too. I went and watched Season One this week as well and was highly impressed. Amazing show! Score: 5/5
How I Met Your Mother (Monday, CBS, 8:30pm) ~ Alyson Hannigan and Neil Patrick Harris shine in this comedy, but are only minor players. The lead is a bit flat. It has potential to be a cute sitcom, but it needs to beef itseld up some more. We'll wait and see. Score: 3/5
Kitchen Confidential (Monday, Fox, 8:30pm) ~ Bradley Cooper competly leads this talented cast as a druggie ex-chef who gets a second chance and rounds up his old gang for his kitchen. Nicholas Brenden was great, and possibly gay? We're not sure. The scarf looked like it, but he was a pastry chef. The other supporting actors were ok. Score: 4/5
Prison Break (Monday, Fox, 9pm) ~ After 5 hours, this show continues to be riveting and good. The parts outside of the prison are a little bit of a drag, but I find myself wondering how it's all going to go down. It is brilliantly planned out and intriuging. The first five hours covered two weeks, and there are three weeks left before his brother is executed, so I predict time will begin slowing down, but we'll expect a breakout by February sweeps. At least, that's my hope. But what would Season two be about? Score: 4/5
Out of Practice (Monday, CBS, 9:30pm) ~ This new show was a surprise delight. Admittedly, Christopher Gorman, the main character and only "not real" doctor of the family could use some acting lessons, but Stockard Channing and Henry Winkler really shine as his recently divorced parents. My only regret is this will mean less of Channing on The West Wing and Winkler on Arrested Development this year. I predict Channing will be dropped from WW's opening credits. Score: 3/5
Medium (Monday, NBC, 10pm) ~ Patricia Arquette deserved her emmy, and this season opened with a bang. Months after Captain Push attempted to kill himself so that he could find out who a killer was and relay it to Allison, he lies in a coma. Allison and her husband Joe have seemingly fixed their marital problems, but they've only been pushed to the back as Allison hasn't been having dreams, and so not working. When Push's father begins to appear to Allison and tell her she needs to listen to his son, she of course figures everything out. But will her marriage survive another season of her job? I look forward to great things this season. Score: 4/5
Bones (Tuesday, Fox, 8pm) ~ Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz have some of the best chemistry on television. Couple that with a delightful supporting cast, and this show has some great potential. Of course, Boreanaz is 'seeking redemption for past wrongs', but I promise it's not a repeat of Angel! I hope the writing gets better, but I see good things in it's future. Score: 3/5 (Actors: 5/5)
My Name is Earl (Tuesday, NBC, 9pm) ~ I love Jason Lee, and this show is great for that actor. He is trying to make up for bad stuff after he heard about karma from Carson Daly. It was good, but unfortunately the premiere will be my only viewing, as Commander in Chief and The Amazing Race have our DVR tied up. I like Lee, so watch it, and if CiC fails, I'll be back. Score: 2.5/5
Lost (Wednesday, ABC, 9pm) ~ Returning for it's sophomore year, Lost blew me out of the water! It actually answered some of it's secrets this week! The hatch was very well done. The show focused on Jack, but gave interesting things to Kate, Locke, and Hurley. Other than that, Shannon, Siyad, and Walt each appeared, and the other main characters were no where to be seen, other than a few other brief glimpses. What about the fate of those on the raft? They are still in the cast list, although we expect another character death soon. And I can't wait to see Michelle Rodriguez and the other survivors from the back half of the plane. It promises to be exiciting. Score: 4.5/5
Invasion (Wednesday, ABC, 10pm) ~ This show gets maybe one more chance. It was pretty lame and I have too much to watch as it is. It was a stupid plot, aliens invading Florida by taking over people, and not as creepy as it should have been. Do you think perhaps that's what happened to Jeb and George? Just asking. :) Flat characters and weak story made this hard to sit through. Score: 1/5.
Joey (Thursday, NBC, 8pm) ~ I don't care what people say, I like Joey. I don't like they felt the need to revamp the cast for this season. I'm not a big fan of Joey's new friend and co-star, although I'm glad Joey finally landed a big movie role. I do enjoy his sister's new job and Jennifer Coolidge finally appearing in every episode. They should dump Miguel and make Coolidge's other assistant a main. He is the new Gunther. This season will be better, and hopefully Alex and Joey will stay together and finally give him a real relationship. Plus, we need some Friends to make apperances! Score: 3.5/5
Everybody Hates Chris (Thursday, UPN, 8pm) ~ Another show I can only give one week because Alias and Joey are non negotiable (kiss it Michael :)), but it was pretty good. Maybe a bit overhyped. I've always liked Chris Rock, but I've never loved him. The show is just comedy. And where else are you going to hear nigger and other racial slurs at 8pm on broadcast tv? It was a little bit not my style of humor, but still enjoyable. Score: 3/5.
Reunion (Thursday, Fox, 9pm) ~ I love this show. It is crappy tv, like Dawson's Creek, but that's why I like it. The actors are great, especially Chyler Leigh from The Practice. I can't wait to see who is dead and who killed them. It keeps me coming back for more, and I really get into it. This one year per season thing doesn't work real well though as the episodes cover a few days, maybe weeks, and then it's a year later. That bugs me. But I'll get over it. Score: 3/5
Threshold (Friday, CBS, 9pm) ~ Brannon Braga's first big non-Star Trek tv show. He brings the dark side he took to First Contact, Voyager, and Enterprise, and makes it scarier. Very good plot, very good story. Brent Spiner (The Next Generation) and Robert Patrick Benedict (Felicity) are definitely my favorite actors on the team of geeky scientists, especially with Spiner's biting wit that sets his character apart from Data. But Carla Gugino as the star works for me too. The only I don't like in the cast is Peter Dinklage, but that may be because his character is just such an ass. I have high hopes for this show. Score: 4/5.
Family Guy and American Dad (Sunday, Fox, 8 and 8:30pm) ~ Still good. Nothing else to report over last time. Just watch them. Score: 4/5
Coming Next Time: Commander in Chief, Boston Legal, Close to Home, Night Stalker, Veronice Mars, Alias, Will & Grace, Ghost Whisperer, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, The West Wing, Saturday Night Live, The Amazing Race?, America's Next Top Model?, Apprentice: Martha Stewart?

Qop!
"If I were a carpenter, and you were my lady, I'd nail you." ~ www.ruminate.com