Welcome Back, Wetzel

Taking a cue from my good friend Mr. Kotter, I welcome you all back to a new edition of my blog! The summer is over for me, and as such I promise regular updates of at least once a week. I'd love to do them more often, but things are about to get even more busy for me, if that is possible. I would love to tell you all about my summer, such as all the hours worked and class took, but that would be boring. Instead, I present 7 Fun Things That Happened to me!

1. I played duck-duck-goose with adults. Yes, adults. No, not those young adults in their twenties, but real adults whose age ranged from late 30's up into the 60's. It was quite fun. My family rocks. And are creative on getting a seat when there aren't enough chairs around the campfire.
2. I saw Jonathan star in Bye Bye Birdie. Yes, I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating He did a really great job, and it was really cool.
3. I drove Lisa to and from her job a few times. This was fun because I got to see her. I did hang out with her a couple of times that weren't job related, but I enjoyed those drives and frozen beverages.
4. Karoke night at Havana was also fun. Again, Lisa was involved, as were Joe, Mary, Esther, Cindy, Evan, and many others. I'm not a great singer, but I appreciate their encouragement and support. I look forward to more fun nights with them soon.
5. I watched lots of Gilmore Girls with Amanda and sometimes Andrea. Amanda sat through 12 seasons of Buffy and Angel with me, and this was her TV pick. We're late into Season 4 now, and I'm really enjoying it.
6. I went drinking with my Champps coworkers plenty of times. This was much fun.
7. I got a new kitten less than two weeks ago. His name is Snugglebunny Fucktard. Thanks to my brother David for helping me name him. Pics and stories of S.F. to come soon.

Qop!
"Up your nose with a rubber hose!" ~ Various characters from Welcome Back Kotter!

Lots of Sunshine

Those of you who know me, know that I dislike being outside when it's very hot, especially without a good reason. And standing around watching people have fun is not a good reason. :) Search has been my lot for three days of the past six. I won't go into details, but thank goodness it won't continue. I HATE humidity. That's not to say I don't like to be outside. There are lots of fun things to do outside. I just hate being hot. It's why summer is my least favorite season.
Anyway, Memorial Day was great. We had a big family part at the 'rents' house. Lots of food and good times, and corn hole. Someone was even given the nickname 'The Hole', which I think was rather risque, but that's my family for you.
My mother decided to help one of her nieces get even with her older sister (the kids in question here are in Kindergarten and Fourth grade) by getting some water balloons. They all had a little fun tossing some balloons. Then my 17 year old brother Bob told me he needed my help. I said ok, as long as I don't get wet. He assured me I wouldn't. At first, his plan seemed sound. He and I help up two sides of a big slingshot, while another little cousin pulled it to the ground. The balloons sailed over the house and hit the unsuspecting people in the backyard. And the house is TALL, yet they did make it over. Well, mostly they missed people. But there was intent. Then my Uncle Joe, age 35 going on 11, the youngest of my mom's five siblings, comes running around the house and hits...you guess it...ME with a balloon! My shorts were soaked! So I helped them finish off the bucket, saving one balloon for myself. I start to run towards the backyard, payback on my mind, when my uncle comes running around, too, only feet in front of me. Direct hit to the chest! I left a welt. Oops. No hard feelings, though. Then my brother David, age nineteen, sprays me down with a hose, voiding the me not getting wet further. I managed to get the hose and soak David back. Lots of water was tossed around, and my uncle and I both ended up changing clothes, but it was a good time.

Qop! (from Kitchen Confidential)
Jack Bourdain: Tanya, let's talk. Let me start by saying you're very sweet and stylish. One might say that you... you put the "ho" in "hostess."
Tanya: Why, thank you!

LOST is a PUZZLE!!!

There are a series of FOUR Lost puzzles out, and there are no pictures to go by. I really wanted them when I saw them at Barnes & Noble before Christmas, but they retail for like $15 a piece! Then I found them last week on the clearance table for only $1! Well, I found two of them. They had two copies of #1 and two copies of #3. For that price, I bought them all, and passed one of each to Jonathan. They are each 1000 pieces. So it takes forever to put them together. When you finally do get it put together, it is just a series of scenes from the show. Then you have to carefully flip the whole thing over and turn off the lights, and letters on the back glow in the dark! Apparently, though, its all coded, and you have to put together all four to figure out the spoilers. I spent a long time this weekend on #1: The Hatch. Thank you David, Bob, Malissa, and Lauren for helping me to finish in just four days! The other ones won't come nearly so quick.

Tomorrow, provided my Ebay box arrives, I will be starting #2: The Others, and then there is #3: The Numbers and #4 Before the Crash. #4 was only released a couple of weeks ago so I don't know when I'll get it. Lots to do! I don't have time for this. Why did I even start??? Still, you have to agree, its way cool!

Speaking of Lost, the recent episodes have been very good. I know that the Hurley episode didn't advance the arcs, but the Hurley / Gin / Sawyer / Charlie stuff was just fantastic dialogue and acting. The Jack episode was lame, like him, but Juliet was pretty good, and Desmond was one of the best to date!

Qop! (from Sealab 2021)
[Discussing what they would have if their brains were in robots]
Captain Murphy: Wait a minute, he gets eye beams, but I can't get x-ray vision?
Sparks: Okay... everybody gets x-ray vision.
Captain Murphy: Yeah, and big chainsaw hands!

Marco: Once again, your stupidity has killed us!

Derek 'Stormy' Waters: Okay, okay. So, say I put my brain in a robot body and there's a war. Robots versus humans. What side am I on?
Debbie DuPree: Humans! You have a human brain.
Sparks: But... the humans discriminate against you. You can't even vote!
Marco: We'd better not have to live on a reservation. That would really chap my caboose.
Captain Murphy: Yeah, but... nobody knows you're a robot. You look the same.
Debbie DuPree: Uh, uh. Dogs know. That's how the humans hunt you.
Derek 'Stormy' Waters: They're gonna' hunt me? For sport?
Marco: That's why we have to CRUSH mankind! So you might as well get on board for the big win, Stormy.

Smokin' Aces

My brother David and I saw Smokin' Aces last night. I really wanted to see the movie because of my friend Jonathan's race review, and it had a host of great actors such as Jason Bateman, Ben Affleck, Ryan Reynolds, Jeremy Piven, Ray Liotta, and others. It was also a bunch of people trying to kill a mobster getting ready to squeal. Sounds awesome, no? Unfortunately, it was not. I have to say, the actors did a superb job, but the film just didn't cut it. I blame faulty editing. There were great moments and funny jokes, but the pacing was totally off. It was a major disappointment.

I also finished reading The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Presents America: The Book: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction: Teacher's Edition this week. Basically it's the same book as the first edition, but the new Supreme Court justices faces have been planted on naked bodies, and they let a history professor go crazy with a red marker. The mistakes he chose to mark were often very factual, but he was very selective in what he marked, and every once inawhile, it was just plain funny. I'm glad I own both editions.

And Barack Obama has officially entered the race for President. Hilary Clinton and John Edwards are also considered front runners. I honestly expect two of the three to be on the ticket in just over a year when the primaries end. I just am not sure which one. And I read an article or two lately where Al Gore said he wouldn't rule out running, although he couldn't imagine seeking office at this time. One article called him a possible dark horse, swooping in at the last moment. I wonder how that would upset the balance. I am eager to find out.

Qop! (selected reviews from the back of America: The Book: Teacher's Edition - many of them are probably not accurate)
"Even better on the second banning!" ~ Wal-Mart

"I wouldn't have posed nude for any other book." ~ Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

"Four and a half stars." ~ Four-and-a-Half Star Review Magazine

"AMERICA (The Book) is an upstanding collection of bound pages, each containing several paragraphs of multiple words, made up of individual letters, that when processed by your brain elicits both humorous feelings - sometimes manifested as laughter - and previously undiscovered insight into..." (cont. on page 3). ~ Senator John Kerry

"This book is gay. You know, like me." ~ Abraham Lincoln

Snow, Snow, Go Away

Ok, I secretly loved having three days off this week. I had my TiVo completely empty for the first time since I got it, as of Wednesday. Then Wednesday night Lost, Knights of Prosperity, and American Idol recorded, so now it's not empty. But briefly, it was nice. However, as this is the last week I am going to get paid for awhile, I needed the money, and now I'm screwed. I did get to work today for a whopping hour and a half, but I got paid for a full day, so I'm not really complaining. I am scheduled tomorrow, too, so we'll see. Next Monday begins my three week multicultural experience at Praire Lincoln Elementary School in the Southwestern district. I have mixed feelings on this. I mean, I'll bet it's a good school, and it'll be fun and all, but it'll be a ton of work coming at a time when I'm very busy (I know, I know. I should have used my snow days more wisely), and plus, I won't be paid for it. I have to pay Ashland for it, actually, more than I would have made in those three weeks. Actually, about the same. But that is ridiculous. They should just let me sub out there for a few weeks or something. Anyway, I is a poor man.

Also, I hope you have been enjoying my new comic strip, Excerpts from The Morning Show. I haven't been real regular in my posting. That means sometimes the day's strip gets posted the night before, sometimes it's late in the day, or once even the next day (tomorrow's is already up)., but I've gotten it drawn out and scanned in for the next month so it's just a matter of remembering to log in and put it up.

And I wrote half my prologue for An Actor's Nightmare Book Four today, which was a totally bad idea, as now I want to keep writing, and the next three weeks will be insanely busy. But I love the series, and it's been killing me to take a break, and I am very happy with what I've written so far, so screw it. It's fun. :)

Qop!
"Rape is just surprise sex." ~ My brother David. He named his Facebook Group that. Don't worry, he got banned from Facebook.

Some Fantastic Weekend

This was probably the best weekend I have ever had. I tried to think of better weekends, but was a bit at a loss. Granted, I did have to get up at 6am on Saturday to attend my grad school classes from 7:30-1:30, and then i was stuck in traffic for an hour right after class, but from there it only got better and better. I went to a family party celebrating my cousin Chris's 11th birthday. His birthday isn't until November, but it was fun. My Uncle Mike had the best costume, although some of the other family members dressed up as well, and all the costumes were fun. Then, though I don't care about sports, the Buckeyes totally kicked ass, which made the family happy. After a quick piece of pumpkin cake, I rushed downtown to meet my brother David and head to the Schottenstein Center. We arrived early and got great seats. There we saw, LIVE, Jon Stewart, Samantha Bee, Jason Jones, and The Daily Show's executive producer and head writer. There were some truly great moments, including Jon's long tirade on Dick Cheney, followed by his "Eh, he's all right" about Donald Rumsfeld. Then when Stewart led the O-H-I-O, and when Jason talked about being pregnant, and basically eveything out of Samantha's mouth. The crowd of over 12,000 people was great, booing Canada and OSU President Holbrook, and Jon characterisitcally scolded them for it. After that, I went to two Halloween parties. Things were even better because it was daylight savings, and though I stayed up until after 2, it was really only after 1. Awesome!
Sunday was just as great, if not better. I slept in, watched some episodes of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, then Nick picked me up. His parents bought us a bit of Don Pablo's for dinner, and then as my Christmas present, Nick had broughten me a great seat to the Barenaked Ladies concert, coincidentally, at the Schottenstein Center. He also bought me a B*L*A*M t-shirt in the style of M*A*S*H that advertised the Barenaked Ladies Are Me album tour. They sand for two hours and fifteen minutes. Although I got to bed way too late for my 5:30 wakeup time, it totally rocked. They played more than half of their new album, and one song off their next album, which will be released in February, only four months after the last one. Nick, like anyone who preordered or downloaded, has the new album already. They will likely be back in the spring for the second album, and I'm sure that we will attend. I got tons of great pictures. My only complaint was that they didn't play "Fun & Games", since they were in Columbus, Ohio, hot bed of the election, on a college campus, following up Jon Stewart, ten days before the election. Why not play your one blatant anti-Bush song? But technically, it is on the upcoming album, so I guess it made sense. All the songs were flawless, and Tyler's Feliz Halloween was definitely a highlight. It featured the whole band on different instruments than they usually play.
Ok, now back to school and work. Have a great week all!

Qop! ("Feliz Halloween" by Tyler of BNL)
Feliz Halloween, Feliz Halloween, Feliz Halloween, Prosper ano y felici-bean.
Jack-O-Lant!

I'm Going to See Jon Stewart

It is going to happen. I am going to see Jon Stewart. Next Saturday at OSU. I got shut out of the tv show, not unexpectedly, as there are so few tickets available, but I get to go to the big event. Thanks to my brother David for getting me the ticket. We're goin to have a ball.
Also, next Sunday I get to see the Barenaked Ladies. Thanks to Nick for that ticket. I can't wait until next weekend. Expect a great blog a week from Monday or Tuesday.
Right now I am tired. I stayed up until 1am working on cover design for Book 2 and story ideas for Book 4 with Nick. And I had a 7:30am class. Hence the randomness.
Ok. I have to go because I am still in class and we are going to watch Oprah.

Qop! (The Daily Show with Jon Stewart)
Stephen Colbert: After all, it was Thomas Jefferson who said "Everyone imposes his own system as far as his army can reach."
Jon Stewart: No, that was Stalin. Thomas Jefferson said that he'd "Rather have free press and no government, than a government and no free press".
Stephen Colbert: Well, what else would you expect from a slave-banging, Hitler-loving queer?

Harrison Ford: I don't really do action movies.
Jon Stewart: You were Indiana Jones.
Harrison Ford: Yeah, but...
Jon Stewart: And Jack Ryan.
Harrison Ford: I always saw Indiana Jones as a comedy.
Jon Stewart: Well, I can assure you it's not.
Harrison Ford: I'll have to let Spielberg know that. "Steve- not funny."
Jon Stewart: You know Spielberg?

Return of Jim-i

I am done moving. I am not going to apologize for my delay since the last post, although it was weeks, because I had a lot going on in my life. I am going to try to be brief because I have to go to work, but there's a lot I want to post about. First of all, I moved back to West Jeff. Not so thrilled about it, but there are good points. I just got internet back to my desktop last night, hence why I have not posted until now. Hopefully I'll have Ti-Vo (Yes, real Ti-Vo this time, not DVR) by the end of the month. For now I frantically record The Daily Show and The Colbert Report every night, and get Reno 911 and Venture Brothers when I can. Ah, well. Such is life. I realize I watch too much tv anyway and it would probably be better if I never get another Ti-Vo, but then what will happen to all the characters I know and love? It would be devastating. Maybe I can try not watching any new shows this year. Wow, I almost typed that with a straight face.
Last week my 18 year old brother was in the hospital. He had appendicitis. His brief stay strecthed to four days because of complications and internal bleeding. He is doing fine now. We were quite a bit worried for awhile. My mother knew a guy who was sent home from the hospital and ended up dying a little later of internal bleeding that the doctors didn't catch, so it was such a relief to figure out why he wasn't getting better and do another surgery to fix it. Just be warned that a loved one of yours doesn't end up in the same situation.
I read two fantastic books this month. I read more than two books, but two that blew me away. The first was Life of Pi, about a boy who simultaneously practices Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism, and then he gets shipwrecked and his family dies and he ends up on a life boat with a 450 pound Bengal tiger for 280+ days. It was such an interesting read, with a bit of a mind fuck at the end. Check it out. The second was Motherless Brooklyn, about a guy with Tourettes who was taken out of an orphanage to work for a detective/mob man/car service owner. When the guy is murdered, it falls to the main character to figure out the case. I don't read a lot of detective or mystery novels, but this one was great. It was our Otterbein Alumni Book Club book of the month. Speaking of the group, I am not the alumni 'in charge', which basically just means I am going to have to notify members of dates and stuff. During the meetings no one is in charge. We all discuss and contribute. We're thinking about doing a Book and Beer thing, where we have our group meeting, then go to Old Bag of Nails afterwards. Hopefully some of you alumni are reading this, and will be intrigued enough to check it out. Actually, everyone is welcome, alumni or not. The next meeting, the September one, will be early on Wednesday, August 30th at 7:30pm in the Courtright Library. We are reading The Girl in the Hyacinth Blue. You should come!

Qop! (from The Onion)
Republicans accuse Senator Joe Biden of running for president for political reasons.