Blah Blahbity Blah Blah Blah

So much has gone in the last few months, I don't know where to start. I am no longer the lonely pathetic man that most of you know me to be. :) I also have been working a lot, and career prospects are looking up. On top of that, the podcast continues to grow, and I've been hard at work on my next book, the short story collection. I am generally pretty happy and busy, and I miss those friends I have had so little contact with due to our conflicting schedules.

Speaking of missed friends, my friend Jonathan Stewart reminded me that I never wrote a review of Center Stage Player's Rocky Horror Show in October. it was FANTASTIC!!!! I saw it twice! Esther Stinson rocked the stage as Magenta. Jonathan wore a ridiculously cool costume leading the band, and Michael Newsome directed it wonderfully. I can't remember what Mary Sink did, but I remember she did it well, and that she was backstage. Ed Eblin cracked me up as the narrator. I wish I could write in more detail, but it has been a long time. I can't wait for the show next year, as well as the shows the company will do before then, because they always do a great job.

Ohio primary elections are today. I slept through four alarms, even though I set them early and went to bed early. I was actually late for work this morning, although not late enough to matter, they didn't care. But I had planned on going to vote before school. I have to go straight to my second job this evening, so I won't get to vote. Those of you who know me know that I am deeply disappointed. I follow the political stage quite loyally. Oh, well. This sucks.

I saw The Other Boleyn Girl this weekend. For my review of that, the season finale of Project Runway, New Amsterdam, and other stuff, check out the podcast I host, The Good, The Bad, & The Geeky at www.dribbleforkids.com/GBG or on iTunes.

Speaking of the podcast, my cohost Nick will be at MegaCon in Orlando, FL this weekend so Jon and I will be doing it without him, though we hope to have a guest fill in. I was not able to attend the convention, but my books are on sale there, and so is a new short story! Well, the short story is free. But only convention attendees will be able to get it, unless you personally know me and ask me nicely. :)

No Qop this time as the post is already too long, but expect another one soon!

Welcome Back, Wetzel

Taking a cue from my good friend Mr. Kotter, I welcome you all back to a new edition of my blog! The summer is over for me, and as such I promise regular updates of at least once a week. I'd love to do them more often, but things are about to get even more busy for me, if that is possible. I would love to tell you all about my summer, such as all the hours worked and class took, but that would be boring. Instead, I present 7 Fun Things That Happened to me!

1. I played duck-duck-goose with adults. Yes, adults. No, not those young adults in their twenties, but real adults whose age ranged from late 30's up into the 60's. It was quite fun. My family rocks. And are creative on getting a seat when there aren't enough chairs around the campfire.
2. I saw Jonathan star in Bye Bye Birdie. Yes, I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating He did a really great job, and it was really cool.
3. I drove Lisa to and from her job a few times. This was fun because I got to see her. I did hang out with her a couple of times that weren't job related, but I enjoyed those drives and frozen beverages.
4. Karoke night at Havana was also fun. Again, Lisa was involved, as were Joe, Mary, Esther, Cindy, Evan, and many others. I'm not a great singer, but I appreciate their encouragement and support. I look forward to more fun nights with them soon.
5. I watched lots of Gilmore Girls with Amanda and sometimes Andrea. Amanda sat through 12 seasons of Buffy and Angel with me, and this was her TV pick. We're late into Season 4 now, and I'm really enjoying it.
6. I went drinking with my Champps coworkers plenty of times. This was much fun.
7. I got a new kitten less than two weeks ago. His name is Snugglebunny Fucktard. Thanks to my brother David for helping me name him. Pics and stories of S.F. to come soon.

Qop!
"Up your nose with a rubber hose!" ~ Various characters from Welcome Back Kotter!

Bye Bye Birdie

For those of you who haven't noticed, while I never did post an official announcement, I have been on summer hiatus for the last two months. I have been extremely busy with work, school, moving, etc. I am very sorry if you missed me. By the way, very funny post here from Nick a few days ago. Scroll down and check it out. Thanks, Nick. I do not promise regular updates in August, either, but come September, I will be back in full force. I'll do an extra special Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger when I return.
But what could possibly bring me away from my lovely, and busy, summer to post? Is it Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? Nah, I covered that in our podcast, available through iTunes, The Good, The Bad, and The Geeky, which is not on summer hiatus. Could it be the discovery of adult flushable wipes, making toilet paper nearly obsolete? Nah, I've already told everyone I know about that. It's the summer musical Bye Bye Birdie by Center Stage Players! They perform at Axis downtown, and the show runs through next weekend. I highly recommend checking it out. And so, by popular demand, I break my break to give you My Review!
This was a fantastic show, from the chorus to the star. Mary Sink was a notable member of the chorus, and she was always worth keeping an eye on while onstage. So was Nikki, a character I had never heard of before, a gay male member of the all-girl Conrad Birdie fan club. Greg Holcombe was a natural for birdie, and R. Neil Palik and Emily Wise as the MacAfees kept me rolling. Equally fun were the kids, Nick Villilo, Zachary Justus, and especially Emily Edwards. They made Randolph, Hugo, and Kim come to life! I defintiely believed Emily's performance, and she perfectly balanced her love for Hugo and lust for Conrad. Kristin Gloege as Gloria and Jessica Hanley as Ursula were a delight, and Amber Thompson was also good as Rose. Stealing the show was Joanna Vansickle as Mae Peterson. I've seen several versions, and that character is always fun, but it was great joy to watch Joanna. And of course, the star of the show, my good friend Jonathan Stewart was Albert. He was awesome! Really a good chance to shine. From his facial expressions during "Put on a Happy Face", to his corny improved line, "Rose, I wish I knew how to quit you." kept me highly entertained. I was very impressed by him in this performance. As I said, the show is still running, so go check it out!

Qop! (Albert from Bye Bye Birdie, as portrayed by Jonathan Stewart in a slightly adjusted line)
" He's as sober as a judge! He subscribes to ev'ry charity! And his hobby's packing fudge!"

Great Weekend

What a fantastic weekend I had! I don't want to go into all of the details, because some things are just not for public consumption, but a big shout out to anyone I came into contact with that made this weekend so much fun: Diane, Sarah, Chris, Susie, Jonathan, Michael, Lisa, Mary, and all the rest. Big shout out to Jonathan. I have to admit, the first time I saw the show, during your first song my attention still kept getting drawn to Michael with his funny hijinks. This time I really paid attention to you, and you were so great, I can't even tell you. Brilliant performance. Twice as funny as last week's show. And of course, Lisa, Michael, and Mary. You were all still fantastic, too. It was awesome. Thank you so much. Can't wait for the next show. Also, a shout out to my mom's garage sale, which netted my personally over $100 from my old junk. Yay!

Qop!
"How many geese in a gaggle?" ~ Lisa as Philia in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

On Notice / Dead to Me #2

For loyal readers of this blog, you may remember that last September I announced my own Dead to Me and On Notice boards, modeled after my idol, Stephen Colbert. They have not been updated in nearly eight months, so now I present for your pleasure my new lists! Many of the names have been left, but the descriptions changes. As always, there can only be dead per board, so I will give a brief account at the bottom of who got off the list. Lucky bastards. You had better hope that you never make this list. New additions are *ed

ON NOTICE
*Jonathan Stewart (my friend) - I'm sorry, but it's getting confusing to know two people with that name, and The Daily Show's host isn't going to change his. You've got until I do my next update to resolve the situation.
President George W. Bush - You have been moved from "DtM" to "ON" because it's way past time to stop ignoring you. Stand up and impeach the bastard!
J. K. Rowling - You stay here because I haven't read your new book yet, which is only the second longest of the series. Why in the hell isn't it the longest?
Movie Critis - I used to complain about your bad reviews, but lately it seems all the reviews have been good. Find a middle ground!
*Girls - For continuing to not be interested in me. One day I am going to give up on you, and then you'll know what you're missing hos! :)
Bones - There was an episode pulled off the air because of the Virginia Tech coverage stuff, but that episode has apprently disappeared into thin air. What gives?
Fox - You cancelled Drive, but I hadn't watched it yet, so you're not "DtM"...for now.
*Alcohol - I need to lose some wait and you are getting in my way, delicious devil!
Clogs - They look so cool, and yet make my feet stink. Eh, why mess with a truism?
Geese - They are EVIL!!!! I won't make you dead to me, though, because you'll attack anyway and then I'll be dead. Like Bush, we can't afford to ignore them.

DEAD TO ME
Katie Couric - Hahaha. You switch lists because you're getting fired.
*Anna Nicole - Replacing Steven Irwin for the 'No, seriously. She's dead.'
Walmart - You axis of evil. You're an axis all by yourself. You're here forever.
Macs - I don't care how user friendly you are. I will NEVER own one of you! Maybe. Yep, no need to change this entry either.
*ABC & NBC - for not airing new episodes of Grey's Anatomy, My Name is Earl and The Office because of a little rain. I'll consider not watching any of your shows any more, but seriously, that was a prick thing to do and I hate you for it. I had to pay $1.99 an episode on iTunes!
Ashland Financial Aid Office - You continue to perplex me!
Grizzly Bears - Stephen hates you. Enough said.
The International Astonomers - Why hasn't Pluto been reinstated as a planet yet? Did you not hear the outcry of a mourning public?
The Food Service Industry - Still working there... Part time, but still...
Anyone Who Hasn't Bought My Book - WHY NOT???????

Repreives - Democrats. Yes, you won in November. But be careful or I'll put you right back! Iran, Condaleeza Rice, Steven Irwin and Mike DeWine were removed from the list because they are now under the Who Cares? category.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

It's time for the long awaited review of Center Stage Player's production of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. It was FABULOUS!!! Incredibly hilarious! I cannot emphasize enough just how good it was. Yes, I do have friends in the show, but this isn't a biased review. They were also absolutely incredible. I loved it so much, I will probably go again next Friday. I would love to go on about every cast member, even the ones I am not friends with, but I forgot my program at the show and I don't remember all of their names. So instead, I'll just talk about my friends. But rest assured, this was a great show, and you should go buy tickets right now for Friday and Saturday's upcoming productions!
irst of all, a shout out to Evan, Paul, and Brianna, who kicked it up in the pit orchestra. It was great, guys. Mary Sink was Domina, the overbearing wife. She was deliciously wicked, and yet somehow a bit sympathetic in her control of Senex, her husband, who also performed fantastically. I giggled in glee at her angry rants. Props also to the actor who player Erroneous and his "third time around!" Then Jonathan Stewart in his macho turn as Miles Gloriosis blew me away. I actually believed he was straight. :) His ego ruled the stage, and even I found myself almost admiring the jerk. I saw the all important ending plot twist coming from a mile away, but I still reveled in every second he was on stage, trying to take the girl he rightfully brought.
Speaking of the girl, Philia was played wonderfully by Lisa Pruitt's boobs, er Lisa Pruitt. I'm sorry, but they were totally on display, and were practically the stars of the show for any straight man or lesbian woman. And who knew Lisa could capture the dumb blond who can never remember the difference between three and five so well? As the woman on whom the plot is based, I couldn't wait for Lisa to keep coming back on screen. I do have the mention the chief slave, Hysteria, whose name I forgot, for his part. It was awesome. I especially loved when he was pretending to be a dead Philia he was instructed to "Think Anna Nicole"
And the person who did the instructing? The shining star of the show, Michael Newsome. I do not wish to minimize the others contributions, because without a doubt, each of them performed outstandingly. But Michael was the star, and never had I expected him to rise to the occasion as well as he did. If you read my last review of this cast, you know how dazzled I was by his last part, but that was nothing compared to this one. As Psedulous (and Prologus), the slave who wants to be free, and barely controls the chaos of the story, Michael go to rant and rave and joke and trick and run all over the stage, playing with the audience, and being the perfect host. When he announced during the Prologue that it would take a superb, talented, etc, etc. actor to play the part of Psedulous, and then told us he was doing it, I laughed, and never stopped. Michael Newsome should have a career of acting, truthfully. I can't get over it. The Soothsayer scene may have been my favorite, but it's hard to tell with all of the great bits he had. Again, I urge you all very strongly to make time and see this show next weekend. You will not regret it.

Qops! (from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum)
Pseudolus: Wait!
Hero: Yes?
Pseudolus: A brilliant idea!
Hero: Yes!
Pseudolus: That's what we need, a brilliant idea.

Senex: A word of advice: never fall in love during a total eclipse.

Lycus: Is it contagious?
Pseudolus: Have you ever seen a plague that wasn't?

Domina: Forgive me for ever having mistrusted you, my darling. But you HAVE been a little distant these past 29 years.

Miles Gloriosus: What is she like?
Pseudolus: A face so fair, a heart so pure - Sir, if you had been born a woman, you would have been she!
Miles Gloriosus: As magnificent as that?

Poor Car is Dead, Poor Fried Car is Dead...

So my car is dead. Sort of. The brakes went, and now the CV something or other is about to go. The brakes have been sort of fixed last night, but when you hit the brakes, the car lurches to the right because only the right side brakes work really well. Still better than the last few weeks, as Jonathan can attest to you. I am going car shopping today, but I have no money. I guess I need to do a loan, but with student teaching coming up and stuff, I am wary about committing to big bills. I am prob gonna try to buy about a $2500 car, but we'll see. Anyone know of a car I can buy? I HATE my car! I hate all cars! I need a mechanic who takes care of my car for me so that I don't have to worry about it. Anyone know someone willing to do it for $1 a week? :)

Qops! (from Sealab 2021)
Captain Murphy: It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!

Beck Bristow: [talking about working on the set of 'OZ'] Funny story about that... see... one time I was filming this scene where this guy was raping me...
Debbie DuPree: Ummm... how exactly is this story funny?
Beck Bristow: Oh, I forgot to say he was wearing a clown suit at the time.

LOST is a PUZZLE!!!

There are a series of FOUR Lost puzzles out, and there are no pictures to go by. I really wanted them when I saw them at Barnes & Noble before Christmas, but they retail for like $15 a piece! Then I found them last week on the clearance table for only $1! Well, I found two of them. They had two copies of #1 and two copies of #3. For that price, I bought them all, and passed one of each to Jonathan. They are each 1000 pieces. So it takes forever to put them together. When you finally do get it put together, it is just a series of scenes from the show. Then you have to carefully flip the whole thing over and turn off the lights, and letters on the back glow in the dark! Apparently, though, its all coded, and you have to put together all four to figure out the spoilers. I spent a long time this weekend on #1: The Hatch. Thank you David, Bob, Malissa, and Lauren for helping me to finish in just four days! The other ones won't come nearly so quick.

Tomorrow, provided my Ebay box arrives, I will be starting #2: The Others, and then there is #3: The Numbers and #4 Before the Crash. #4 was only released a couple of weeks ago so I don't know when I'll get it. Lots to do! I don't have time for this. Why did I even start??? Still, you have to agree, its way cool!

Speaking of Lost, the recent episodes have been very good. I know that the Hurley episode didn't advance the arcs, but the Hurley / Gin / Sawyer / Charlie stuff was just fantastic dialogue and acting. The Jack episode was lame, like him, but Juliet was pretty good, and Desmond was one of the best to date!

Qop! (from Sealab 2021)
[Discussing what they would have if their brains were in robots]
Captain Murphy: Wait a minute, he gets eye beams, but I can't get x-ray vision?
Sparks: Okay... everybody gets x-ray vision.
Captain Murphy: Yeah, and big chainsaw hands!

Marco: Once again, your stupidity has killed us!

Derek 'Stormy' Waters: Okay, okay. So, say I put my brain in a robot body and there's a war. Robots versus humans. What side am I on?
Debbie DuPree: Humans! You have a human brain.
Sparks: But... the humans discriminate against you. You can't even vote!
Marco: We'd better not have to live on a reservation. That would really chap my caboose.
Captain Murphy: Yeah, but... nobody knows you're a robot. You look the same.
Debbie DuPree: Uh, uh. Dogs know. That's how the humans hunt you.
Derek 'Stormy' Waters: They're gonna' hunt me? For sport?
Marco: That's why we have to CRUSH mankind! So you might as well get on board for the big win, Stormy.

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger March 2007 Edition

I have neglected my 'new' feature that I announced several months ago, a Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger. I now pledge anew to post one every month. This is my edition for March 2007.

Tip of My Hat to NBC
For The Black Donnellys. This show is fantastic! I love it! I did not expect Tommy to go ape shit at the end at all! But then again, it is a drama, and a true one at that. The flashbacks are kind of lame, but everything else is a-ok.
Wag of My Finger to NBC
For pulling Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip off the air for the time being. DO NOT cancel it! DO NOT cancel 30 Rock either. It had a rocky start, but ended up being really funny.
Tip of My Hat to Anna Nicole Smith
Why you may ask? I mean she was totally lame and gross and... But she died! So even though the news is obsessed with her now, that means stories about her will finally go away! YAY! You may think that sounds insensitive, to which I say, I know it is.
Wag of My Finger to Britney Spears
Really, Britney, if you want to be a huge whore slut and dance around without any panties, do it in my room, not in public.
Tip of My Hat to Jonathan Stewart, Lisa Pruitt, Mary Sink, & Michael Newsome
For their fantastic performances in the musical City of Angels! I know I already wrote a whole entry, but I have to say it again. Fantastic. Go see their next show, in which they all play much bigger roles. For information about tickets, go here.
Wag of My Finger to MySpace Blogs
I loved when I had all my friends blogs bookmarked and could just check them periodically, and they didn't post too too often. With MySpace blogs, they get on to check other things and post all the freakin' time and I can't keep up! Damn you MySpace!
Tip of My Hat to You Tube
After the six episodes (and counting) series Chad Vader, and Charlie the unicorn, I have to give You Tube props. Gotta love 'em.
Wag of My Finger to Jack Nicholson
If you want to look like a penis, fine, just don't show up at The Academy Awards looking like one.
Tip of My Hat to the Academy Awards
Ellen made an excellent host and Jennifer Hudson so deserved that Oscar.
Wag of My Finger to President Bush
This will probably be a permanent addition to the TOTHWOMF list, at least until he leaves office. My peeve with him now? The troop surge. Death totals are high again. Give it up! You suck as president, dude! Resign!

Qops! (from Sealab 2021)
Captain Murphy: Way to go Sparks, you broke the monitor and you're dead. Happy?

(after Stormy called Quinn 'the Black Dr. Quinn')
Dr. Quentin Q. Quinn: Man, how'd you feel if everyone went around calling you "White" Stormy?
Derek 'Stormy' Waters: [Gasps] You mean there's a BLACK Stormy?

City of Angels

I went down to Axis last night and saw City of Angels, a musical several of my friends were in. It was great. I highly recommend everyone goes and sees it next Friday night. You can get tickets at centerstageplayers.com To be honest, I think my friends were among the most, if not the most, talented in the cast. Jonathan had a small part, but he cracked me up, especially when rubbing lotion on a hot woman's leg and acting like he liked it. :) Mary and Lisa were members of the quartet, which was a sort of chorus but much more interesting, and they were hilarious! They did lots of cool stuff that kind of held the shoe together. Mary's facial expressions were to die for, and when Lisa grabbed Jonathan and held his face in her boobs, I almost peed my pants. I saved Michael for last because all I can say about him is... WOW! He played a Latina cop out to get the detective in the murder mystery, and every time he came on stage, he totally stole the show. He was a larger than life character, and his musical number was the best. I can't wait to see them all star in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum in April. Esther and I are prepetual audience members now. :)

Also, the Grey's Anatomy spinoff, Taye Diggs is going to costar! And it will be an ensemble cast. Cool. Oh, and I moved the speakers and laptop away from my TiVo, and it seems to be working fine again. Who ever knew that that would mess things up?

Qop!
"You bitch!" ~ Jonathan's improved line when the hot women exposes his homosexuality

Smokin' Aces

My brother David and I saw Smokin' Aces last night. I really wanted to see the movie because of my friend Jonathan's race review, and it had a host of great actors such as Jason Bateman, Ben Affleck, Ryan Reynolds, Jeremy Piven, Ray Liotta, and others. It was also a bunch of people trying to kill a mobster getting ready to squeal. Sounds awesome, no? Unfortunately, it was not. I have to say, the actors did a superb job, but the film just didn't cut it. I blame faulty editing. There were great moments and funny jokes, but the pacing was totally off. It was a major disappointment.

I also finished reading The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Presents America: The Book: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction: Teacher's Edition this week. Basically it's the same book as the first edition, but the new Supreme Court justices faces have been planted on naked bodies, and they let a history professor go crazy with a red marker. The mistakes he chose to mark were often very factual, but he was very selective in what he marked, and every once inawhile, it was just plain funny. I'm glad I own both editions.

And Barack Obama has officially entered the race for President. Hilary Clinton and John Edwards are also considered front runners. I honestly expect two of the three to be on the ticket in just over a year when the primaries end. I just am not sure which one. And I read an article or two lately where Al Gore said he wouldn't rule out running, although he couldn't imagine seeking office at this time. One article called him a possible dark horse, swooping in at the last moment. I wonder how that would upset the balance. I am eager to find out.

Qop! (selected reviews from the back of America: The Book: Teacher's Edition - many of them are probably not accurate)
"Even better on the second banning!" ~ Wal-Mart

"I wouldn't have posed nude for any other book." ~ Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

"Four and a half stars." ~ Four-and-a-Half Star Review Magazine

"AMERICA (The Book) is an upstanding collection of bound pages, each containing several paragraphs of multiple words, made up of individual letters, that when processed by your brain elicits both humorous feelings - sometimes manifested as laughter - and previously undiscovered insight into..." (cont. on page 3). ~ Senator John Kerry

"This book is gay. You know, like me." ~ Abraham Lincoln

The Dark Ages

Our power was shut off at noon yesterday. It is now 10:30 and the power is finally back on. The Dark Ages are over! The problem happened because I was told, a month ago when I went to sign up for our AEP service, that I was under a special and didn't have to pay the $83 deposit. So I didn't. Then yesterday, with no warning, no notice, no nothing, they shut it off. For the first couple of hours I assumed a normal outage, then I finally called to check on it by mid afternoon. I was told it was shut off because we didn't pay the deposit. After explaining the situation, the company was completely unsympathetic. The operators, most of them anyway, were very nice, but they said they couldn't do anything about it. I promptly paid the deposit over the phone. I was told it would be 1-3 days before power was restored. Of course I was freaking out, worried about food in the fridge and everything. Several phone calls later, I was finally assured it would be turned back on last night, no later than 10pm when the trucks shut down, but probably much earlier. By 9 I was on the phone again, to no avail. No one could tell me anything, truck schedule, how to get in touch with trucks, or when my power would be restored. After 10 I was back on the phone with them and told it just wasn't going to happen tonight. I was very upset, but didn't cuss out the operator or anything. She was nice. Even offered and did a wake up call this morning on the cell so Michael could get to work on time. A frantic call to the building manager got us allowance to run an extension cord into the hallway for just the fridge, with the understanding that it had to be unplugged by noon today. By 10am I was getting very worried, but just now I checked and the power was restored. Oh, happy day. Now all that remains is a Better Business Bureau complaint and catching up on the shows Jonathan and Lisa kindly took care of for us. Thanks guys! This whole situation sucked, but on the bright side (no pun intended), I did get a lot of reading done. First with natural sunlight, and then by candlelight last night. Still, I missed my internet. :)

Qop! (from last week's season premiere of Arrested Development)
MICHAEL: You're especially mean this morning, Mom. Are you sober?
LUCILLE: Michael, it's nine am!
MICHAEL: So that's not it...

My Life

It's time once again for "Have a Few Drinks, Can't Sleep, Evaluate My Life Online So The Whole World Can See", as I do periodically. So tonight was the big housewarming party. Or little party. Ok, so Nick, Lisa, and Jonathan showed up, and Nick slept half the time he was here. :) That's ok. I'm at a point in my life where I can do without a lot of the old friends whom I don't see all the time. Anyone reading this post is not included in that group. I am talking about the people I have no contact with at all anymore and have just become very peripheral to my life. And that's ok. A lot of them I don't really miss. Some people I still want in my life weren't here tonight, and that is ok too. I understand that some of them weren't nearby or had other things going on. We're cool. Don't worry. I am just impatient to get on with life and drop stupid school and part time job crap.
Speaking of part time jobs, I hate Target. I tried to convince myself it was fun because the people there seem cool, although none of them seem to want to open up and befriend me and discourage small talk. Ah, well. Again, no worries there. It doesn't bother me. I hope I'm not there too much longer. All the sub paperwork is being finished and I will be in the schools soon and at least able to majorly cut back my hours there, which I need to do because I really hate it and I'm working a whole bunch of days. Also, my book is being published so there may be some money there. I am getting paid by a percentage of the sales, not a lump sum, so here's hoping I sell enough copies to help me make some money and let me quit working at Target so I have time to work on more books. This is what is keeping me from sinking into depression right now because the book thing is really exciting. Besides, being a 'tortured soul' helps me to be a better writer.
And of course the last and most depressing thing is my love life, or lack thereof. I have become a lot more active in searching for people to at least go on dates with, but to no avail. I apologize to any friends who read this and are interested, but I don't return the interest. Trust me, I totally understand because I have friends that I like a lot who don't return the interest. And sometimes it pisses me off when they go for jerks, or even more when they go for nice guys who aren't me, but I sit there and grin and bear it because I really do care. However, it is well past time for me to get on with my love life. Please help me! Set me up with someone cute and cool! That's all I ask. I'm ready to date, I want to do it! :)

Qop! "You vagina is so big, it played the cave in Batman Begins!" ~ an excerpt from the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Andreson, which was surprisingly hilarious. Go Sarah Silverman and Bea Arthur!

P.S. I had to repost this to delete a comment from someone with a 'business oppurtunity'. NO SPAM ALLOWED ON THIS BLOG!!!

Stuff

So I don't have much to write about except to say that I am moving back to Westerville tomorrow, and the stupid cable service won't be over to hook up our internet for an ENTIRE WEEK!!! So this is like vacation all over again. If you want to get ahold of me, and I hope you do, just call. And I am now a moderator for www.hotornot.com so go there and use it. It's fun. Oh, and I also got tagged by Jenn and Amanda to do some song thing where you list five songs and the artists that you are currently playing a lot, no particular order, and then tag 5 other people to do the same. I don't know if I know another five people who have blogs and who read mine, but Lisa and Jonathan and Nick, you'd better do it. :) Ok, you totally don't have to. But by me doing it, Jenn and Amanda know I still read their blogs regularly.

1. Mess I've Made - Ben Folds
2. What Ever Happended to My Part? - Sara Ramirez, Spamalot soundtrack
3. Rest In Peace - James Marsters, Buffy: Once More With Feeling
4. 80's TV Theme Medley - Brian & Stewie (Seth McFarlane), Family Guy: Live In Las Vegas
5. Magic Moments - Perry Como, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy soundtrack

Qop!
"I teach my children to be kind and take extragood care of their toys. It teaches themdiscipline and shows them that if they takecare of things, they'll last longer. But themain reason is that if toys should ever cometo life and take over the world, maybe they'llremember our kindness and spare my family." ~ www.ruminate.com

America's Birthday

I used to revel in Fourth of July. It was my favorite holiday for awhile. Now I am so ashamed of my country's leaders, and the people that put them in office, and how we are portrayed to the world, that I can hardly drudge up an enthusiasm. I feel very sad at that loss. Hopefully it will not be permanent. Still, family parties were fun, Red, White, & BOOM! was good, and spending the 4th and 5th in a surprisingly uncrowded Cedar Point with Jonathan was a blast. Front seat rides on the Dragster, Millenium Force, Raptor, and Magum were the highlights. 3 trips on the Force and 5 on the Magnum. What a trip! Too bad our hotel was a bit seedy. But now I am home and exhausted. Hope everyone is well. Talk to you later!

Qop!
"MEET THE FUCKERS" ~ Seen on a t-shirt at the Point with Bush and Cheney waving below :)

Oregon Trail

Last Saturday, as Lisa wrote about in her blog, her, Jonathan, and I had a ball on Oregon Trail. I found the old old school version on the internet, for the Apple, and an emulator to run it on my computer, so I played it today. First of all, hunting was a lot harder. Trees got in your way and you couldn't really move. It sucked. And you could only keep 100 pounds of food, instead of the 200 on Jonathan's newer version. And you had a very short time limit to hunt. Also things were more random. For instance, everyone was in good health and nothing was going wrong, and then Jonathan broke his arm and died two days later, it didn't say how he died. The arm? Sadie drowned a week later in a 6 foot deep river as we were floating. I wanted to be a doctor, but in the old game that wasn't an option. At least I kept finding abandoned wagons, but they never had any food in them. Then the end where you floated down the river was really hard and had confusing controls, plus you had to land yourself, it didn't stop for you. So Lisa (with a broken arm), Michael (with chlorea), and I (without any injuries or diseases the entire game) made it to Oregon. Yay! Ok, so it was just me by myself, but hey, whatever. :) And since I downloaded it, I could to look at people I didn't know's graves.

Qop!
"JONATHAN HAS DIED."
~Oregon Trail

June Part II

I am so sorry that I have not updated much this month. Only twice in fact. And I doubt I will update again in June. I am almost turning into Jonathan! :) Things have just been hectic, and as I don't have my own place or own internet connection, I will be infrequent for the next month, maybe two, so don't expect lots more posts. July and maybe August will probably be just as sad. I say that for August because even though I am hoping to find a place by then, I will be working, filming a movie, and moving in, so don't expect too much. Anyway, here are some highlights of the last few weeks:
*House sitting at my aunt and uncle's ROCKS!!!
*Felicity makes me cry. Thanks a lot Lisa. It's worse than Dawson's Creek. Or better. Whatever. Weiss is great and I love Amy Jo, the Pink Ranger.
*Hanging out with my older sister, whom I have had very infrequent contact with in my life and none at all in the last four years. It was awesome. I think the infrequent thing is gonna change. Major coolness.
*Finding out I am eligibile to substitute next year! I am gonna try Westerville, Pickerington, Grove Port, and West Jeff for now. We'll see how it all goes.
*Thanks for everyoe who has come and visited me: Amanda and Adam (lots of great Buffy nights), Jon, Brandon, Nick, Sabra, Andrea, Jnel, Krystina, Liz, Travis.
*Video games with Jonathan and Lisa last thursday. OREGON TRAIL!! Haha, you two died of measels! I overcame my dysentary! and I now really want to keep playing Resident Evil. Sorry, Jonathan, about Mario Party. I seriously doubt it will ever happen again.
*Team America ROCKS!!!
*Tune into the new seasons of Family Guy & Reno 9-1-1!

Ok, enough, see you all later! Give me a call or e-mail me you out of towners!

Qop!
"We are blameless! We've given him two types of fruit!" ~ Jon Stewart on The Daily Show talking about Bush

Good News For People Who Love Bad New

I stole today's title from the Modest Mouse album of the same name which is, by the way, an amazing album. Anyway, the bad news is that J-Lo wants to runs for president. Jennifer Anthony (as she now wants to be called) wants to run for president and, if elected, plans to redecorate the White House. God help us all. Also for those of you who hate the former Bennifer, Ben Afflek's new fiance, Jennifer Garner, is being heavily rumored to be pregnant and due late this year. Hmm. Wonder how they would work that into Alias? All they need on that show is another member of that dysfunction family!

And now some good news for people who love good news:
Will Ferrel is slated to host Saturday Night Live this weekend. Yes, you heard me correctly. Will Ferrel. Hell yeah!
And starting this coming fall, The Daily Show will be expanded to one hour. Sort of. Comedy Central plans to start a new half hour show airing directly after Jon Stewart's power house entitled The Cobert Report which will of course star Stephen Cobert. Current plans call for the shows to transfer seemlessly, like real news shows, making it seem like one hour-long show. Cobert is equally as funny as Stewart, in my opinion, and I am greatly looking forward to this expanded format. And for those of you who still tell me I am lying, I will state this one last time. My friend JonATHAN Stewart is NOT Jon Stewart! There, I've said my piece. It didn't help that a month or so ago Jon Stewart said something on the air to his friend Jimmy watching at home. I have been unable to shake the rumors since, but I swear I'm telling the truth. What's sad is that I am not making any of the above up.

Qop!
"You have the best show on television." ~ Martin Short to Jon Stewart on a recent episode of The Daily Show

Busy Busy Busy

I have bee so freakin' busy lately! I finally got through classes yesterday (oh, who am I kidding. Like all my classes were cancelled for once and I spent most the day hanging out with Tim and April, but the rest of the week I had classes, and did have hours of training last night!) and then I got home and Jonathan called me so I went and hung out and slept over at his place. We had lots of great conversations about geese and amusement parks (the two are NOT related - the implications if that were true chill me to the bone). Now I've got more training all weekend. School work to do. Then I'll be gone all next weekend to visit Kristen. Plus I am arranging a Cole Porter medley for clarinet ensemble and really want to get back to writing my book. Plus I just want a few hours in a practice room at Battelle with a piano and my sheet music because it's been so long since I've did that...Ah, well. Life marches on.

Qop!
"A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." ~ Douglas Adams

National Procrastination Week

So I have known for seven days now that this week is National Procrastination Week, and yet I have not posted during that time although I intended to. How is that for irony? And it is Week 10, which always encourages Procrastination. I have commited the ultimate procrastination this quarter - I've never been this bad before. I have still put off taking a math class, which I need to graduate. I need to register at Columbus State or something ASAP, or at least register to take it OC this summer so they will let me walk across at graduation. I also have a 8-10 page research paper due at 11am tomorrow, as well as a 1-2 page summary of it. I have done hours of research this week, but have yet to uncover a single fact. With only 10 hours left, I need to get started on it. I have help at the Westerville Library tomorrow at 9am, but I need to write most of it tonight because I won't have much time tomorrow. So I am working on it now. NOT! I am writing in my journal, listening to Modest Mouse, and IMing people, hoping someone will run to a bar with me before they close. And I spent all evening with Jonathan and Michael watching Deep Space 9 and That 70's Show. I know, I know. Ok, so I really need to get to work now. Seriously.

Qop!
"Every choice we make has a consequence..."
~ Command Benjamin Sisko, Star Trek: Deep Space 9 "Emissary"
BONUS Qop!
"I want to buy a mattress."
"But we don't even sell...oh!"
~Kitty and Red, That 70's Show (about to have sex!) :)