Alone

So I live alone now. This is, admittedly, probably a temporary situation. I have a roommate lined up for November, a possible one for December, and then maybe another one for next year. This is met with mixed feelings by me, honestly. I have only lived alone for two months. I like it a lot of the time. I can walk around, er, less than fully dressed. The temperature is what I want it set to. I can stay up late or go to bed early. The tv is always mine. Hell, every room in the house is mine. Yet, as I empty out the spare bedroom, that only had clothes and a bed in it anyway, in anticipation of the roommate coming in two months, I do feel a little happy. For one thing, I like to see people. And when I'm home alone all day, and every night, it gets lonely and sad. I think I would like a roommate. I think I would also like a bigger place to share with them, because while this place is big for me, it will not be big for two people. I use every inch in it except the spare room and a few kitchen cabinets. Ah, well. The mixed bag will stay for awhile now, and likely I won't be with roommate for long.

Qop! (this one's for you, Nick!)
"My name is Wil Wheaton. Jack Thompson can suck my balls. If you have a problem with that, go fuck yourself." ~ Wil Wheaton, Pax 07 Keynote Address

On Notice / Dead to Me #2

For loyal readers of this blog, you may remember that last September I announced my own Dead to Me and On Notice boards, modeled after my idol, Stephen Colbert. They have not been updated in nearly eight months, so now I present for your pleasure my new lists! Many of the names have been left, but the descriptions changes. As always, there can only be dead per board, so I will give a brief account at the bottom of who got off the list. Lucky bastards. You had better hope that you never make this list. New additions are *ed

ON NOTICE
*Jonathan Stewart (my friend) - I'm sorry, but it's getting confusing to know two people with that name, and The Daily Show's host isn't going to change his. You've got until I do my next update to resolve the situation.
President George W. Bush - You have been moved from "DtM" to "ON" because it's way past time to stop ignoring you. Stand up and impeach the bastard!
J. K. Rowling - You stay here because I haven't read your new book yet, which is only the second longest of the series. Why in the hell isn't it the longest?
Movie Critis - I used to complain about your bad reviews, but lately it seems all the reviews have been good. Find a middle ground!
*Girls - For continuing to not be interested in me. One day I am going to give up on you, and then you'll know what you're missing hos! :)
Bones - There was an episode pulled off the air because of the Virginia Tech coverage stuff, but that episode has apprently disappeared into thin air. What gives?
Fox - You cancelled Drive, but I hadn't watched it yet, so you're not "DtM"...for now.
*Alcohol - I need to lose some wait and you are getting in my way, delicious devil!
Clogs - They look so cool, and yet make my feet stink. Eh, why mess with a truism?
Geese - They are EVIL!!!! I won't make you dead to me, though, because you'll attack anyway and then I'll be dead. Like Bush, we can't afford to ignore them.

DEAD TO ME
Katie Couric - Hahaha. You switch lists because you're getting fired.
*Anna Nicole - Replacing Steven Irwin for the 'No, seriously. She's dead.'
Walmart - You axis of evil. You're an axis all by yourself. You're here forever.
Macs - I don't care how user friendly you are. I will NEVER own one of you! Maybe. Yep, no need to change this entry either.
*ABC & NBC - for not airing new episodes of Grey's Anatomy, My Name is Earl and The Office because of a little rain. I'll consider not watching any of your shows any more, but seriously, that was a prick thing to do and I hate you for it. I had to pay $1.99 an episode on iTunes!
Ashland Financial Aid Office - You continue to perplex me!
Grizzly Bears - Stephen hates you. Enough said.
The International Astonomers - Why hasn't Pluto been reinstated as a planet yet? Did you not hear the outcry of a mourning public?
The Food Service Industry - Still working there... Part time, but still...
Anyone Who Hasn't Bought My Book - WHY NOT???????

Repreives - Democrats. Yes, you won in November. But be careful or I'll put you right back! Iran, Condaleeza Rice, Steven Irwin and Mike DeWine were removed from the list because they are now under the Who Cares? category.

R.I.P. Shawn Goodrich

Click to read the brief story in The Columbus Dispatch.


Who has Shawn Goodrich? I've known the kid practically my entire life. Mostly, I felt he was kind of a jerk, racist, but after working with him for awhile in high school, I discovered he wasn't all bad. He once asked me if I would go see a play at OSU with him that he had to go to. I said sure, but never followed up on it. Now I kind of wish I had. I mean, I don't see him as the type of guy I would be friends with, but who knows? Maybe he just needed a friend. I mean, he obviously went through some rough patches in his short life. Would it have been different if he had had a friend there for him? I know he had friends, or at least did at one time. Did they know how upset he'd been?

What can I say about Shawn? This is hard to write. I haven't seen him in years, and probably wouldn't have given him a second thought if not for this. But I can't help but feel weird that this guy I knew is no longer around. No one deserves death, and I definitely don't think that Shawn did. It makes you wonder what drove him to do what he did. And it makes you sad, too.

I know we weren't close, and I may not remember you always, but right now, Shawn, I miss you, and Godspeed.

New Car!!!

Those of you who know me know what a crappy car I've been driving. Granted, I paid $900 two years ago, so I more than got my money's worth, but it's not a good feeling to have the brakes stop working. I felt like I was in a death trap every time I went out on the road. It got really bad last Saturday when the brakes were gone, and then only the right side got fixed, so every day I hit the brakes, the car lurched to the right majorly. My CV-something or other was also about ready to go, and that repair would have cost me more than I originally paid for the car. Now, after days of frustrating car shopping during time I didn't have, I had found my new car.
Now most people say new and mean new to them. I actually mean new period. It's a 2007 Suzuki Reno. That's a four door hatchback. It had 5 miles on it the first time I got inside. I didn't intend to buy a new car. I was always told that that was a bad idea. Yet the deal offered to me, especially taking into account the fantastic warranties (3 years bumper to bumper....they even change flat tires on the road for free!), it ended up being the best deal I found. I'm back in a year-long finance plan, payments and everything, but it's a really cool car. It gets 30 miles to the gallon. The oil only needs changed every 7,500 miles. It's the first car I've ever owned with a CD player. I'll try to get pictures posted soon. Oh, did I mention that the color is Sunburst? That's orange. Well, a really cool metallic orange; not a lame bright orange. I had my choice of colors, so this was intentional. It is awesome.

Qops! (from The Colbert Report)
"Like any good newsman, I believe that if you're not scared, I'm not doing my job."

Stephen Colbert: Look, I just think that Rosa Parks was overrated.
Conan O'Brien: Rosa Parks was overrated? That's-that's madness!
Stephen Colbert: Conan, last time I checked, she got famous by breaking the law.
Conan O'Brien: Breaking the law? She was standing up for a whole race of people. She was a freedom fighter!
Stephen Colbert: Conan, how do I know that there wasn't an old, sick, white man who needed that seat in the front of the bus?
Conan O'Brien: How can you say that?
Stephen Colbert: Conan, I'm gonna keep saying this until Rosa Parks's children apologize for what their mother did to that bus company!
Conan O'Brien: You want Rosa Parks's children to apologize?
Stephen Colbert: Absolutly.
Conan O'Brien: Gah! Okay, I'm sorry. I have no choice.
[shoots Stephen in the chest, who then rises up a second later]
Stephen Colbert: [unaffected] Typical East-coast, Ivy League educated response.
Conan O'Brien: [pause] We'll take a break. We'll be right back.
Stephen Colbert: Look, I respect your right to disagree with me. Don't get me wrong.
Conan O'Brien: I shot you very near the heart!

Poor Car is Dead, Poor Fried Car is Dead...

So my car is dead. Sort of. The brakes went, and now the CV something or other is about to go. The brakes have been sort of fixed last night, but when you hit the brakes, the car lurches to the right because only the right side brakes work really well. Still better than the last few weeks, as Jonathan can attest to you. I am going car shopping today, but I have no money. I guess I need to do a loan, but with student teaching coming up and stuff, I am wary about committing to big bills. I am prob gonna try to buy about a $2500 car, but we'll see. Anyone know of a car I can buy? I HATE my car! I hate all cars! I need a mechanic who takes care of my car for me so that I don't have to worry about it. Anyone know someone willing to do it for $1 a week? :)

Qops! (from Sealab 2021)
Captain Murphy: It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!

Beck Bristow: [talking about working on the set of 'OZ'] Funny story about that... see... one time I was filming this scene where this guy was raping me...
Debbie DuPree: Ummm... how exactly is this story funny?
Beck Bristow: Oh, I forgot to say he was wearing a clown suit at the time.

Inevitable

Those of you who know me had to expect this type of post. It's 3am on Valentine's Day. Since I was told that school was cancelled like 8 hours ago, I'm not worried about sleep. But I am depressed. I'm drunk. Yes, I drank alone. I don't do it too often, especially not to excess, but I did it, because I'm lonely, and I'm sick of this shit. I think I'm a pretty good catch. I almost have my teaching lisence, I sub, I have two published books available for sale. I like to think that I'm funny and creative. And yet I've been single for three and a half years. Why is that? I don't know. I really don't. But I am definitely sick of it. Somebody please set me up on a blind date or something. Seriously. I'm ready to cast off the single life. Hell, I was ready to do that two decades ago, no exaggeration. I'm ready for marriage. My biological clock is ticking. At least help me score a date or something. I'm not desperate. It would have to be the right girl for me to start a relationship. But I am anxious to meet that right girl, and the more women I meet, the more likely that is to happen. So please set me up with a cutie immediately! :)

Qop!
There is no Qop today. Give me a break.

I'm an Ungreatful Prick

So the jury is back. I'm an ungreatful prick. Seriously. I have never considered myself thus before, and am having trouble considering myself that now, but after a truly rotten Christmas, and a ton of alcohol, the conclusion is made. Why is it so? Here is the COMPLETE story, not the ones my relatives seem to be getting. BTW, I am more than a bit drunk as I type this.
Every year ALL of my presents, at least the last few years, have been clothes. Those of you that know me know that I don't like clothes. In fact, I hate clothes. i only buy them when I absolutly need them. At the moment, I have a pretty good supply. So I have told me mom before that I hate getting just clothes, but the last few months, I have emphasized this point to her. While I would prefer no clothes at all, I begged her to just let one present not be clothes. one book, one cd, on dvd, SOMETHING besides the clothes that I hate to get. I said I would rather have money or nothing at all than the endless load to clothes that I hate. So Christmas morning arrives and I open, not just clothes, but really sucky clothes. Present one was white socks. WHITE socks. I wear black sock six days a week because I can ony wear black to the schools or to Champps, and have plenty of just fine white socks. Yet she buys me many pairs, unwrapped, so i can't even return them. Then comes a pair of black dress shoes. The EXACT same dress shoes that were my sole birthday present last march. No, they ar ejust fine. actually, she bought me ugly dress shoes and i returned them for the ones i currently wear. So she bought me anothert pair, even though I don't need them. Then comes a p[air of blue dress pants. Now she knows (I hate blue. I have NEVER worn blue dress pants. EVER. I HATE them. Then a pair of blakc dress pants that I kinda of need, but will take back because of all the clothes. I'm not happy about it, but I don't sitr abnd bitch endlessly about it either.
I take all; the hate dshit to me room and stay away. Yet I am bad mouthed constrantly all day. When the aunt i thought understood me very well told me i should hgave just said thank you and forgotten it, I left. Granted, I had consumed enough alcohol to put me in a decent mood up until then and I shouldn't have driven, but I did, and I made it home just fine, thankfully/. Yet, obviously I am just a selfishprick who should take what I get, even when UI specifgically ask her nbot to get it. Obviously.

Oh, anmd btw, the same 'adult' gift exhancge I have participated in the last four yearts in my family once again ended with me getting nothing. Literally this year, as I let my 5 year old cousin ahve the stuffed snoopy i ended up with. I think I just won't do it next year. And I plan to have a new apartment by feb. 1st. Anyone want to be my roommate? I could really use one.

Qop!
None. I am too angry.

Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This

This was just one of those very bad days. I woke up this morning and my stupid but adorable cats were staring at me. They have hidden my glasses and I don't know where. I've looked everywhere. So I put in the contacts for the first time in months and my eyes are tired right now but I need to see and the glasses are still missing. Then I went to the bank to cash a savings bond so I would have gas money. One bank that I stood in in line for fifteen minutes doesn't cash savings bonds. The second bank informed me that it will not be one year old for two more weeks and they couldn't cash it until then. Savings bonds are stupid anyway. Why would I need $100 in 30 years? To buy a tank of gas, if that? I hope I am not that hard up for money. The savings bond would already be a year old if my former employer hadn't forgotten me last graduation time and given me the bond late. Then the worst thing of the day happens - I find out my grandmother was taken to the hospital again. She's stabalized for now, but I don't know what's going to happen there.
Then the day takes a more positive turn. My second cousin, who is a mere three months younger than me, is getting married. This is the other side of the family from grandma. My parents skip the wedding, but I go and it is a beautiful ceremony. I'm happy for them, I really am, but of course I have this jealousy because she is younger than me, even if only by three months, and I wanted to be married by now. Of course me eight year old cousin points this out to me several times. Thanks. I love my cousin, but it didn't help. Open bar helped, but I also didn't want to drink too much because I was in public and I had to drive home eventually. So I eat and chat and dance my ass off to forget about my grandma, and my being broke, and my being single, not even a girlfriend for the last three years. And I drink. And eventually I start to feel better. For awhile. Then my worries and stuff come rushing back and I wind up at home, miserable, drinking mixed liquors of whatever I had in my cabinet that is strong but tastes terrible. Good day right? Tomorrow will probably be better. I hope. And any single girls out there, who want a nice guy ready to settle down, call me.

Qop!
"Momma said there'd be days like this. There'd be days like this, my momma said."

Unemployment

School ended over a week ago. Almost two weeks ago. And I am unemployed. I lined up two summer jobs at the end of MARCH so this wouldn't happen, then both fell through at the absolute last minute. So I lined up another job, then it fell through. Then I've spent days just going to interview after interview and the jobs that want to hire me are all sales jobs which I can't do. It's not that I don't want to. Some of them would make me lots of money if I could sell, but I can't. I'm not pushy. I'd ask if someone wanted something, they would say no, and I would leave very politely, which isn't how you make money. Something needs to happen fast or I'll be living in a cardboard box. Ok, not literally, but you understand. I am veyr very broke. This whole thing just sucks. I can't wait for school to start again! :)

Qop! (Office Space)
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.

A Date

So I'm going on a date. You know how weird that sounds? A friend from college called me up and asked me out. I said yes. Now I'm going on date. I have not been on a date in fifteen months, and haven't been in a relationship in two years and nine months. I don't know if this will lead to a relationship. I'm honestly not thinking that far ahead. I'm just marveling at long it's been. Granted, it took me a long time to get over the last girlfriend. I went on a few dates last winter, but nothing came of that. I am really looking forward to this date because I have been wanting to get out and go on one in so long. I always have liked girls, and was looking for my future wife in Kindergarten. I never actually got to go on dates or have a girlfriend until college, and by that time I incredibly frustrated because I was getting old. I always figured I would be married by the time I was out of college. That's the kind of guy I am. I'm the 'marrying type', not that date endless streams of women type. But most girls my age want to wait to get married. The average marriage age is 30! That's crazy. I'm going to be 23 next Sunday and I am not at all happy about the status of my love life, and whole I've come to enjoy the single life and have fun doing it, I won't miss it when it's gone. Like I said, I'm not even thinking long term tonight. I am only thinking of tonight, which I guess shows how my mindset has changed over time. Now that I've spilled my guts about something deeply personal over the internet, don't think I'm a loser, and don't say mean things on my blog, ok? :)

Qop! (from Veronica Mars)
Veronica's Father: So how was your date?
Veronica: Simple conversation, nothing much. But the sex was fantastic!
Veronica's Father: That's not funny.

It's 2006

No, really, it is. I am appropriately drunk and at a friends' apartment. I was at several parties tonight, but I ended at one with all women (except for me), so that's cool. Many kisses at midnight. Just not from someone special. :( That's ok. I present my New Year's resolutions for 2006:
1. Get my full teaching lisence
2. Be in a serious relationship
3. Lose at least 20 pounds
4. Sell 1,000 copies of my book
5. Do something I have never done before but always wanted to

Sound good? Feel free to post your resolutions as a comment. That would be cool. See you all later and have a great 2006!

Qop!
"15...14...13...12...11...10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1! Happy New Year's! 2006!" ~ Everyone

Long Time

It's been a long time since I updated. I've been busy. Sue me. The search for a girl is still zt ground zero. Ah, well. I am really into that How I Met Your Mother show and think I'm in about that stage of my life. Too bad there isn't a girl every week to try to date. Or just one would be fine too. :) I have some pics of Michael's cats. You know, the ones that sleep in my bed at night and crawl all over my face and will probably have kittens together because he hasn't gotten them fixed? :) Anyway, here they are. Nothing else to report. My book is still in the printing stage, so I will let you know when it's on sale. Meanwhile, feel free to send any single women my way. :)

Qop! (The Colbert Report, 10/25/05, during Colbert's interview while taking phone calls)
GIRL CALLER: My boyfriend says he's gay, and he moved in with his rich lawyer and stuff, but I think he's wrong because when we hang out, it feels like he really means it.
ROMANCE ADVISOR: Good. You're lucky he told you. Cause there's a lot of guys that are gay, but they'll just go out with you and they won't ever say it, and I would say get out of that relationship.
COLBERT: Right, right, right. But also, I would say hang on, because if you're woman enough, you can make him not gay.
ADVISOR: That's the wro...
COLBERT (Continuing): Hang in there! You owe it to this guy! Save him!
ADVISOR: That's on the verge of damaging, what you're saying!
COLBERT: Hey, if he wants to stay gay, he'll stay gay. That's his choice.

Hello Again

Sorry I have not update you guys in a couple of weeks. I was doing so well too! I have been working lotsof third shifts at Steak N Shake and then collapsing and then just not thinking about putting in an entry. Let me give you a brief overview of the last couple of weeks.
Yes I was Pauly Shore's waiter. I don't feel like repeating the story again to post it because it really wasn't that interesting. Too bad it wasn't a big celebrity. :) He tipped decent though and was nice enough so I'll just leave it at that.
Yes I am still single. It sucks, but I'm living with it. I know it'll happen eventually, or at least I try to believe that, so that's all I need to write there.
Yesterday many of you got drunken text messages from me. That's because I was up until 10am drinking vodka straight and watching Cameron Crow movies (Almost Famous and Jerry Maguire) and also trying to put together a puzzle at the same time. It took me four hours for about 300 pieces, but I did it and I don't remember much of the movies. Yay for occasional times like that!
Last night after work I reviewed my proof of An Actor's Nightmare. It was great, I signed off on it, and it is now going through the printing process and so will be on sale very soon. It looks good, it's about 467 pages of text, and I am uberexcited about it. I hope you will be too. News will be posted on here as it becomes available. Hope you all have a great day!

Qop!
"The difference between homosexuality and pedophilia is that homosexual is uncurable. With pedophilia, you just move him to another congregation." ~ Rob Cordry on his first This Week in God on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

The Dark Ages

Our power was shut off at noon yesterday. It is now 10:30 and the power is finally back on. The Dark Ages are over! The problem happened because I was told, a month ago when I went to sign up for our AEP service, that I was under a special and didn't have to pay the $83 deposit. So I didn't. Then yesterday, with no warning, no notice, no nothing, they shut it off. For the first couple of hours I assumed a normal outage, then I finally called to check on it by mid afternoon. I was told it was shut off because we didn't pay the deposit. After explaining the situation, the company was completely unsympathetic. The operators, most of them anyway, were very nice, but they said they couldn't do anything about it. I promptly paid the deposit over the phone. I was told it would be 1-3 days before power was restored. Of course I was freaking out, worried about food in the fridge and everything. Several phone calls later, I was finally assured it would be turned back on last night, no later than 10pm when the trucks shut down, but probably much earlier. By 9 I was on the phone again, to no avail. No one could tell me anything, truck schedule, how to get in touch with trucks, or when my power would be restored. After 10 I was back on the phone with them and told it just wasn't going to happen tonight. I was very upset, but didn't cuss out the operator or anything. She was nice. Even offered and did a wake up call this morning on the cell so Michael could get to work on time. A frantic call to the building manager got us allowance to run an extension cord into the hallway for just the fridge, with the understanding that it had to be unplugged by noon today. By 10am I was getting very worried, but just now I checked and the power was restored. Oh, happy day. Now all that remains is a Better Business Bureau complaint and catching up on the shows Jonathan and Lisa kindly took care of for us. Thanks guys! This whole situation sucked, but on the bright side (no pun intended), I did get a lot of reading done. First with natural sunlight, and then by candlelight last night. Still, I missed my internet. :)

Qop! (from last week's season premiere of Arrested Development)
MICHAEL: You're especially mean this morning, Mom. Are you sober?
LUCILLE: Michael, it's nine am!
MICHAEL: So that's not it...

My Life

It's time once again for "Have a Few Drinks, Can't Sleep, Evaluate My Life Online So The Whole World Can See", as I do periodically. So tonight was the big housewarming party. Or little party. Ok, so Nick, Lisa, and Jonathan showed up, and Nick slept half the time he was here. :) That's ok. I'm at a point in my life where I can do without a lot of the old friends whom I don't see all the time. Anyone reading this post is not included in that group. I am talking about the people I have no contact with at all anymore and have just become very peripheral to my life. And that's ok. A lot of them I don't really miss. Some people I still want in my life weren't here tonight, and that is ok too. I understand that some of them weren't nearby or had other things going on. We're cool. Don't worry. I am just impatient to get on with life and drop stupid school and part time job crap.
Speaking of part time jobs, I hate Target. I tried to convince myself it was fun because the people there seem cool, although none of them seem to want to open up and befriend me and discourage small talk. Ah, well. Again, no worries there. It doesn't bother me. I hope I'm not there too much longer. All the sub paperwork is being finished and I will be in the schools soon and at least able to majorly cut back my hours there, which I need to do because I really hate it and I'm working a whole bunch of days. Also, my book is being published so there may be some money there. I am getting paid by a percentage of the sales, not a lump sum, so here's hoping I sell enough copies to help me make some money and let me quit working at Target so I have time to work on more books. This is what is keeping me from sinking into depression right now because the book thing is really exciting. Besides, being a 'tortured soul' helps me to be a better writer.
And of course the last and most depressing thing is my love life, or lack thereof. I have become a lot more active in searching for people to at least go on dates with, but to no avail. I apologize to any friends who read this and are interested, but I don't return the interest. Trust me, I totally understand because I have friends that I like a lot who don't return the interest. And sometimes it pisses me off when they go for jerks, or even more when they go for nice guys who aren't me, but I sit there and grin and bear it because I really do care. However, it is well past time for me to get on with my love life. Please help me! Set me up with someone cute and cool! That's all I ask. I'm ready to date, I want to do it! :)

Qop! "You vagina is so big, it played the cave in Batman Begins!" ~ an excerpt from the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Andreson, which was surprisingly hilarious. Go Sarah Silverman and Bea Arthur!

P.S. I had to repost this to delete a comment from someone with a 'business oppurtunity'. NO SPAM ALLOWED ON THIS BLOG!!!

End of July

Another month has come to an end, and amazingly I did make 10 posts this month! Yay for me! :) Plenty is going on in my life. My final class at Otterbein meets 3 more times and that's it. Then I get a degree! Despite my utter lack of feeling at graduation, I have mustered up a little excitement about being done with classes in 10 days! Granted, it fades when I realize I am not doing anything with that degree, but that's not the whole point. I think a year of just substituting, while I work like crazy to pay rent, get out of debt (should be out by Christmas!, not counting student loans which will take about 76.343424 years), and paying for Australia next summer. For the 2006-07 school year I will plan on heading back to finish my music education certification. Heading back where, I have no idea at this point. I just need a year off of taking classes. I am so sick of classes.
Vacation was fun, but as relaxing as I had hoped. To tell you the truth, I had more fun with my family last year than with my friends this year. Not that my friends weren't fun. They were, but my family (aunts, uncles, cousins) are more into doing the things I want to do so I spent a lot of vacation alone (by choice) or with my aunt and uncle who were also in the condo. Highlights of vacation with my friends: Watching the entire first seasons of Scrubs, working on my book quite a bit, seeing dolphins jump, putt putting, and the final dinner, with only Jess, across the street. We had fun and drank a lot.
Now on with my life. Although to what, I don't know. Teaching, surely, and working on my book. Moving back to Westerville this month and into a nice, large three bedroom apartment with Michael (with a washer and dryer!), and who knows what else. I am going to a Tuscan Themed 60th Birthday party for my uncle on Saturday, August 13, but the invitation was for "and guest" and I don't have a date to the party. I've been thinking about girls I know, and for the first time in my life, there really isn't someone I see all the time that I have the least bit of romantic feelings for. There are girls I know that I like, but not ones I see all the time that I do. Not really close friends. It's weird, and the condition has existed for at least a couple of months. Maybe that means my time for a girl is coming soon? I watched Hitch and it made me long for love, but I'm not in any desperate stage. We'll see. And I am getting sick of my singlness being part of all of my Life Updates on here, so I predict it will change soon. I hope. :) The good news is, it hasn't really depressed me for awhile.
Ok, enough posting. Time to go unpack and attempt to be productive. Take care all!

Qop!
"My dinner was looking at me!" ~ Me, having gone to a restaurant drunk on vacation and ordering their special, a $5.95 lobster that was whole and looked alive!

Don't Laugh At Me

So I have been under a great deal of stress lately, but as of 4:30pm this afternoon, and not before, I am fully registered in all of my classes and will be graduating. Thank you very much. That is a lot of worry off my shoulders. So tonight I worked on my book a little bit, and then kicked back to relax and blow off some steam. I chose to do it by watching Joey's season finale, which was kind of sad and made me a little depressed. So I had a smirnoff. I ended up drinking only two, so don't think I'm being an alcoholic. But it does help me relax. So here I was feeling sad at the tv and a little relaxed and I just needed a cry and a outpouring of emotion. A cleansing of my soul if you will. I need one every so often. I feel I have become very numb in real life and have trouble achieving that release, howevere for any of you that know me, I can easily get that release from a movie or favorite tv show. I chose to watch the Buffy The Vampire Slayer episode "The Body". If you don't know the series, that is a mid-fifth season episode where Buffy's mother dies. The opening sequence if Buffy finding her mother's cold stiff body on the couch. Needless to say I was quickly moved to tears and sobbing, allowing me my much needed release after the past month or two. So then Tim walks by as Buffy is trying to tell her 13 year old sister that she will never see her mom again and he laughs at me! And tells me to get over it, it's just a tv show! Now this is a great guy whom I have never been mad at. I am incredibly pissed right now. I yelled at him, but he probably thought I was joking. Oh, well. Just don't mess with me in that mood. Please. I need it to keep my sanity.

Qop!
"I wish Joyce didn't die. Because she was nice. And now we all hurt." ~ Anya (Emma Caulfield), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "The Body"

My Parents, The Assholes Parts Deux

So I tried to get the title trasnferred this morning on the Buick to my name, but my aunt had checked some box about the odometer that she wasn't supposed to check, so I wasted an hour of my time, gas, etc. So I call my parents to tell them I'm mailing them some green form that she has to sign for me to get the title, and they're like "Can't you just run it out here?" Keep in mind, we're talking almost an hour and a half and lots of gas round trip. I said No, I don't have time, I'm next out there Tuesday. I'll mail it this morning, they'd get it Monday. They said No, we'll go get a form ourselves in Madison County. I said fine, I'll pick it up Tuesday when I'm out there for work. That wasn't acceptable. They wanted me to drive out Monday, never mind by the time I had time to drive out and get back the title office would be closed anyway, and my working 7am-midnight on Tuesday would not allow me to file it until at least Wednesday evening anyway. So my dad chews me out for not having time. They have no idea what my schedule is like. I've tried to show them before and they wouldn't listen. Those fucking bastards. This is why I get so frustrated at them. They don't listen, they think I'm lazy and have tons of free time even though that's far from the truth, and they're just closed minded idiots.

Qop! (my sanity today)
"I wish I could fly, From this building, From this wall. And if I should try, Would you catch me if I fall?... I look in the boardroom; a modern pharaoh's tomb, I'd gladly swap places, if they care to dive. They're lined up at the window, peer down into limbo, They're frightened of jumping, in case they survive." ~ Barenaked Ladies, When I Fall (from their album "Born on a Pirate Ship")

Arrrrgh

So life just pain sucks right now. Incredibly busy, and of course things are falling apart faster than I can fix them, as has been the case many times in my life, but I feel this is te worst. I may not even be at graduation...or in this apartment next week. I don't know. We'll see. Plus my parents have been particularly nasty as of late, having left me several angry voice mails about something I told them I would not have time to take care of until Saturday morning, but that I would do it on Saturday. So why another voice mail tonight? Because they don't listen! The worst part is, the idea of giving up has never seemed more attractive either. I was so tempted today to empty my bank account to pay rent and move into some little apartment and just not tell anyone where I was. Yes, I would still have to go to work and stuff so people would find me, and even if I didn't answer my phone people still have my number, and I really don't want to cut myself off from everyone permanently. Just for a day or two. Read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and you'll understand. I need my man cave. It is a very insiteful book. Anyway, the reason I didn't do all that was because as much as I fear the bad things, I fear losing the good things even more. Road trips. Throwing football in the courtyard last night. Movie nights on Sundays. Drinking with my friends. 24, Alias & Lost nights. And a girl. There is always a girl. The latest one came on rather suddenly and unexpectedly. Again, not someone I will probably ever date or even approach, but a girl is always inspirational. This one is a bit different, not because I think she would reject me, but because of awkwardness or hurt with friends because of it. So I'll drop it. Anyway, too bad it never amounts to anything. The belief that same day it will keeps me getting up in the morning. And not giving up. So in that way, thank you to all the girls I've ever crushed on, even though most of you never knew it, and I don't think any of you read this blog. :)

Qop! (very random)
"So Dawn's in trouble. It must be Tuesday."
~ Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) in reference to her sister (Michelle Trachtenberg), Buffy the Vampire Slayer: "Once More, With Feeling" (the musical episode)

Sick Sucks

So even though I've been trying to be happy and put a positive spin on things (I did go to the opera on campus last night - about fifty feet from my apartment) I have been sick. Strep throat and all that. Even today I have a 101 degree temperature, despite the fact that I have been on antibiotics for 2 days now. So I am supremely bored, but most of the day I couldn't get off the couch. I tried to get some work down, but my head is so messed up I can't concentrate for very long. I am no longer contagious, but still feel like crap and haven't been able to go into work today. We'll see about tomorrow. If I can barely be at my desk for an hour, eight hours in a restaurant would just suck. I made it through the opera because it was so awesome, but yeah, anyway, point is sickness sucks!