Let's Impeach the President

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LOST - NO!!!

TV Guide's website has 'confirmed' that AT LEAST five cast members of LOST will DIE before this third season comes to an end. I am almost speechless. What in the hell!?! FIVE cast members??? Admittedly, the show has had a high death toll. There have been twenty two main characters over the first three seasons, and with these new numbers, that puts that death count at fourteen, more than half the of the cast! Nine castaways have left so far. Let's take a look at those, shall we?
Boone - Fell out of a plane and died from complications. (late Season 1)
Shannon - Accidentally shot to death by Ana Lucia in the jungle. (early Season 2)
Walt - Not dead, but kidnapped, and thus removed from the cast, and then later left the island with his father. (disappeared early Season 2, left island late Season 2)
Ana Lucia - Killed by Michael in the hatch. (late Season 2)
Libby - Killed by Michael when she caught him killing Ana Lucia. She never even got a flashback! (late Season 2)
Michael - Not dead, but left the island on a boat, and so left the show. (late Season 2)
Mr. Echo - Killed in the jungle. (late Season 3)
Nikki & Paolo - Buried alive after being bit by a paralyzing spider that made the others think they were dead. Only episode they actually had a good sized part in, thought they were considered main characters for more than half the season. (mid Season 3)

Now five more will be gone??? Who will it be? Let's look at the main characters and how likely I think it is that they will die. I rank them most likely to least.
Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley - Not at all likely. They are too essential to the story.
Claire - Nah. No one would care. Plus she and Jack need to figure out they're related.
Sayid - Ditto about no one caring. I'm not sure if that should push him closer to death, as he doesn't have any loose end story lines...
Desmond - Prior to this week, I would have put him at least likely, as his girlfriend Penny is definitely going to play a part in what's coming. But after last week, I wonder if it might be coming soon, and his time will be up. Still, someone needs to have happy love.
Sun & Jin - Sun is pregnant and pregnant women don't survive on the island. Also, Jin has been shown a bit more lately, but not in an essential capacity. Might he be next?
Locke - Was always important, but might this may be his final showdown coming up.
Juliet & Ben - They are evil and plotting against our heroes. Of course they're time is limited. But it might be more interesting if one survives and slowly reforms.
Charlie - His life has been saved four times, but death won't rest 'til it gets him.

Now of course next season the cast won't consist of just the nine left from the above list, but who will they add to beef it up? I'd like to see Bernard, Rose, Alex, and Rosseau get a promotion, but past experience tells me it will probably be new people. We'll see.

Qop!
"Lost on an island, Far from home. Lost on an island, but they're not alone." ~ 'Charlie' on the Jimmy Kimmel show, making up a theme song for the show

Blast From the Past

So, because I'm a total loser, I was googling both my name and the title 'An Actor's Nightmare' to see what I could turn up. I found a tun of stuff that I did back when I was in middle school, and I realized just what a huge dork I was. I also realized that Geocities and Tripod never took down the pages. I obviously had too much time in my hands in those days. Of course, my parents didn't let me go anywhere unless they wanted to take a 'family trip', and I was rarely permitted to go to parties or hang out with friends, so what else was there to do? Then I got to high school and got a life. A very, very busy one. These projects fell to the wayside and were abandoned to one day be dredged up. I still have the same e-mail address. I bet I could still log in and edit them. Hmm. Yes, I even used the pen name back then. And so in the spirit of self emasculation, I present some links for you to click on so you can revel in just how dorky I really was. Am. No. No. Was. Yeah, was.
The Star Wreck Fleet
Data's Joke (click on Star Wreck)
The Geek Space Dominion (I was a contributor, but THAT e-mail doesn't still work)

Also, I've watched three of the four aired episodes so far of Thank God You're Here! The first episode was funny, but the second was fantastic, and the third was pretty good. Anyone who wants to see Harland Williams, Jason Alexander, Edie McClurg (the secretary from Ferris Bueller's Day Off), Kevin Nealon, Wayne Knight, Jane Lynch, Jennifer Coolidge, George Takei, Richard Kline, Mo'Nique, Shannon Elizabeth, Tom Green, and others battle their way through improvisational scenes, check it out! It's really good. Best reality type show. It's like a better version with more talented people of Who's Line Is It Anyway?

Qops! (from 30 Rock)
Liz Lemon: Where's Gary?
Jack: [Kicks down door and enters room] Gary's dead. I'm Jack Donaghy. New VP of development for NBC/GE/Universal/Kmart.
Pete: Oh, we own Kmart now?
Jack: No. So why are you dressed like we do?

Toufer: [Complaining to Liz] Surely our massive conglomerate parent company could spring for a samovar of coffee.
Frank: Yeah, or, like, a big coffee dispenser!
Toufer: [Condescendingly] That's what a samovar is.
Frank: Are there other black nerds, or is it just you and Urkel?

Pete: [Tending to one of three cast members who have been rendered unfilmable for that week's episode] Liz Taylor really messed him up! He might have brain damage.
Liz Lemon: God. Maybe the musical guest can do some extra songs this week. Who is it?
Pete: James Blunt.
Liz Lemon: Ugghh.

Tracy Jordan: I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?
Jack: I've got two ears and a heart, don't I?

An Actor's Nightmare

Raise your hand if you've read at least part of An Actor's Nightmare. If your hand isn't up, why not? If you read my blog, you must know me, so please read my book. Ok, that sounded pathetic. :) Let me give you some reasons on why you should read An Actor's Nightmare.

10. It's like 500 pages long. Who doesn't like reading 500 page books? Also, An Actor's Nightmare Book Two is like 550 pages long, and Book Three (out this fall) will be even longer! Yay for long books! There will be NINE total. In your face Harry Potter. I will beat you!
9. People you know may be in it. Sort of. For legal reasons, they aren't. But some of the characters may have been inspired by real people. That's true. The characters really don't reflect the real people so much any more. Read it anyway.
8. You're my friend. I'm nice to you. Be nice to me and read my book. I'm not even saying you have to buy it. Borrow it. Or go to the Westerville or West Jefferson public libraries. They have copies. Other libraries might, too.
7. I may have let a little of my politics slip into Book Two. Just a bit. Down with Dictator Bush!
6. Flashbacks. There are lots of them. Every seven or eight chapters there is an Intermezzo with back story, much of it ancient. It's deep. Or so I imagine it to be.
5. Death. I kill main characters. Yes, I make you love people, and then I brutally rip them away from you. Hahahaha. I mean, cool deaths. Yeah, cool deaths.
4. The short story (#1-4 available free on the web site right now!) companion book, with seven stories not previously released, will be called ANEX (Actor's Nightmare EXtras). How cool is that title? Thanks Nancy for thinking of it! I mean, thanks me. Yeah, that's the ticket. It was all me.
3. My mom likes it. So does yours. At least, that's what she told me in bed last night. Snap!
2. Geese have nuclear weapons. What more do you need?

AND 1. I said please, goddamnit! What part of please don't you understand!?!

Qops! (from Lost)
Hurley: Great idea dude, go look inside the burning death hole.

Shannon: So, does all this - the tent, flowers - mean that we're serious?
Sayid: Quite definitely not. I do this for all the girls I meet on deserted islands.

Kate: Come on. You're going to see Jack.
Sawyer: Do I get a lollipop?

Mr. Artz: I know a clique when I see it. I teach high school, pally! You know, you people think you're the only ones on this island doing anything of value. Well, I've got news for you. There were forty other survivors of this plane crash and we are all people, too.

Danielle Rousseau: You've only got three choices: run, hide... or die.

Boone: [to Locke] John? You been using that wacky paste stuff that made me think my sister got eaten?

Sawyer: [faintly] I would've left you behind.
Michael: Shut up man, don't try that.
Sawyer: [even fainter] I did leave you behind.
Michael: Yeah well, good thing I ain't you.

Shannon: [after Hurley informs her Claire has been attacked] What? I am so not moving to the rape caves!

Desmond: Jack, I'm Desmond. Good luck, brother. See you in another life, yeah?

LOST

After catching up on the last few episodes, Lost has jumped to the top of my favorite shows list once more. Juliet's second flashback, and the surprise ending, led to me yelling at the screen at the top of my lungs at the television set. Thankfully, I was home alone, and so spared the embarrassment. Nikki & Paolo's episode was also awesome, and completely unexpected. I am looking forward to Desmond's third flashback, Ben's first, Charlie's next one (likely resulting, unfortunately, in his death), and even the season finale of yet another Jack episode, as it has promised to be shocking. But as thrilled as I have been, and as excited I am for the last few episodes of the season, I have found that I have forgotten a lot. I haven't rewatched any old episodes, ever. So I popped in Season One, which I remembered as being a bit dry and slow. Not the case. Perhaps it's because I knew where it was going, but I was riveted. I ended up watching twelve episodes, a full half of the season. I plan on watching the rest over the coming weeks, and Season 2 this summer. Ideally, I can buy and rewatch Season 3 in the fall before the Season 4 premiere, but we'll see. This show has it all. It's so smart, and involved. I really hope they do a Rosseau flashback soon, so we can see how everyone went crazy and why she had to kill them. I also want to know what has happened to Mr. Locke, whom I am become bored with until he blew up the sub and found his father on the island. The ratings have dropped, but the show keeps getting better. Let's hope it's kept on the air.

Qop! (from Lost)
Locke: [explaining why he wanted to let the island monster drag him off] I believe that I was being tested.
Jack: Tested?
Locke: Yeah, tested. I think... that's why you and I don't see eye-to-eye sometimes, Jack because you're a man of science.
Jack: Yeah, and what does that make you?
Locke: Me, well, I'm a man of faith. Do you really think all this... is an accident? That we, a group of strangers survived, many of us with just superficial injuries? Do you think we crashed on this place by coincidence, especially this place? We were brought here for a purpose, for a reason, all of us. Each one of us was brought here for a reason.
Jack: Brought here? And who brought us here, John?
Locke: The island. The island brought us here. This is no ordinary place, you've seen that, I know you have. But the island chose you, too, Jack. It's destiny.
Jack: Did you talk with Boone about destiny, John?
Locke: Boone was a sacrifice that the island demanded. What happened to him at that plane was a part of a chain of events that led us here that led us down a path, that led you and me to this day, to right now.
Jack: And where does that path end, John?
Locke: The path ends at the hatch. The hatch, Jack all of it. All of it happened so that we could open the hatch.
Jack: No, no, we're opening the hatch so that we can survive.
Locke: Survival is all relative, Jack.
Jack: I don't believe in destiny.
Locke: [pause] Yes, you do. You just don't know it yet.

R.I.P. Shawn Goodrich

Click to read the brief story in The Columbus Dispatch.


Who has Shawn Goodrich? I've known the kid practically my entire life. Mostly, I felt he was kind of a jerk, racist, but after working with him for awhile in high school, I discovered he wasn't all bad. He once asked me if I would go see a play at OSU with him that he had to go to. I said sure, but never followed up on it. Now I kind of wish I had. I mean, I don't see him as the type of guy I would be friends with, but who knows? Maybe he just needed a friend. I mean, he obviously went through some rough patches in his short life. Would it have been different if he had had a friend there for him? I know he had friends, or at least did at one time. Did they know how upset he'd been?

What can I say about Shawn? This is hard to write. I haven't seen him in years, and probably wouldn't have given him a second thought if not for this. But I can't help but feel weird that this guy I knew is no longer around. No one deserves death, and I definitely don't think that Shawn did. It makes you wonder what drove him to do what he did. And it makes you sad, too.

I know we weren't close, and I may not remember you always, but right now, Shawn, I miss you, and Godspeed.

Pure Plugging

This post is merely to plug two things I think everyone should check out, because they're awesome.

The first thing is a Myspace blog from my coworker at Champps, Tammy. Tammy is a really cool person, and this blog really hits home to anyone who has ever been a server or had a server. Plus it already has 37 comments so it's obvious it struck some nerves. Support your servers people!

Second, there is a podcast out there called The No Name Show, available on iTunes. You can do a search in your iTunes store or at iTune's website under 'Podcasts'. Nick is the host, and at times either Nathan or I cohost it with him. There are eleven 'shows' at present, but we will add more as time goes on. Even if a couple of months go by (as they have before) without a new entry, stay subscribed, because we WILL be back eventually. Recently, though, there have been three casts, so we're doing pretty good. Let us know what you think!


Qop! (from Tammy's blog)
"DON'T take it out on the server!!! I don't know how many times this has happened. I didn't go back there and cook it! Don't take it out on me and the tip you leave me! You're not hurting the cook or the management by tipping less. You're only hurting the server that did nothing wrong!"

I Have Class

No, seriously. I have class. Right now. I am in class. And very bored, even though class just started. It was supposed to start twenty minutes ago. I really don't want to be here. I just want to get to Dana's and have movie night.
Do you all read Dribble for Kids? If not, get over there right now. It's a fantastic comic, and this issue is hand drawn. It looks really neat. Different from the others. Yes, my friend Nick makes this comic, and it is the only comic I read, so I am biased. But it's a really good story. He just finished a huge arc called Lord of the Sweaters, that was pretty neat. This new issue is a bit depressing so far, but the new page features yours truly in full Klingon regalia. Cool, huh? Also, I wrote an upcoming issue, so check it out!
Ok, enough stump speech. I might actually pay a little attention to class now. Maybe.
Oh, and BTW, it was NOT the girl from Lost in TMNT.

Qop! (from TMNT)
Michelangelo: Did anyone get the license plate of that thing that hit us last night? It looked like your mom, dude!
[laughs]
Donatello: ...Yeah, that would make her your mom too, doofus.
Michelangelo: ...Nuts.

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger April 2007 Edition

It's April 2nd, but at least I am posting it this month, as this is only my third TOTHWOTF, and only my second keeping to the schedule. Yay!

Tip of the Hat to Lost
As long as Nikki and Paolo are actually dead. Fantastic episode.
Wag of the Finger to my New Manager at Champps
Learn how to make cuts!!!
Tip of the Hat to Steak Quesadillas
I have been eating these delicious things at Champps after work several times in the last few weeks, and they are quite tasty. Everyone should have some.
Wag of My Finger to Network Television
Every year they tease us with tantalizing morsels of good television, such as The Winner, Eyes, The Nine, and Reunion, and then they yank the plug. Some they even let on go long enough for me to fall in love with like What About Brian?, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and The Class. How dare you take away my shows and replace them with shit like Two & A Half Men!!!
Tip of My Hat to Congress
For finally passing a budget that stipulates a pullout from Iraq. Yes, I know it's a mess, but it's over, we can't do any more good without doubling our troops, and no one wants that. Give it up. We're done. Let us go home.
Wag of My Finger to Congress
Since only just over half of you are willing to pass the aforementioned law, you won't be able to overturn Premiere Dictator Bush's veto. Shame on you lame Congressional Republicans!
Tip of the Hat to China
Even though you have been rated our biggest threat for about the last decade, if not longer, you haven't attacked us yet. Thank you!
Wag of My Finger to Paper Cuts
You are small and insignificant. Quit hurting so badly! It's just not fair!

Qops! (from American Dad!)
Steve Smith: I touched her hand, her hand touched her boob. By the transitive property, I touched her boob! Algebra's awesome!

Roger the Alien: Is that a Chinese baby?
Stanley Smith: Sure is! Japanese, to be specific.

Stanley Smith: Son, if you ever get captured by any terrorists in the neighborhood and end up on al-Jazeera, just blink you location in Morse code. I'll have a bomb dropped on your location immediately.
Steve Smith: But, Dad, then I'd get killed too.
Stanley Smith: Ah, come on son, there are plenty of kids to play with in heaven. Your cousin Billy. That little girl from Poltergeist. She must be about 16 by now, you could totally tap that.

Hayley Smith: My mother stole my boyfriend!
Stanley Smith: And your boyfriend stole my wife! Let's get back at them by dating each other! Wait a minute... Daddy didn't think that one through.

April Fool's

Happy birthday Grandma! 76 years young today.

I walked into Champps tonight to discover a disturbing notice posted on the office door. Apparently there will be a meeting next Saturday morning at 7am, mandatory to all employees. It announced that Champps had been bought out and our location was to be renamed U-Cinema Bar & Grill. Made sense to me. We were right in front of a movie theater, afterall. The notice went on to say there would be hour changes, menu changes, and of course, theme changes. We would each be required to choose three characters from movies or television shows to dress up as. At this point, most of the staff stopped reading and began to loudly complain. Several threatened to work out when they read this. I kept reading and learned that a small stage would be installed, and every hour we would be required to perform skits and scenes. This is when a little bell went off in my head that today was April 1st. April Fool's Day. So as gullible as I am, I didn't fall for it nearly as much as many others, who only half read it. Still, mad props to TJ, for a fantastic April Fool's prank.

Qop!
"She said Paolo lies." ~ Hurley, Lost
(she actually said 'paralyzed' are they dead???)

Birthday Sharers

I have a Top Ten list today, but first some entertainment news. The season finale of What About Brian? is tonight, and Molly Willow, tv reporter for The Dispatch, whom I usually agree with seemed to think it would be the series finale, and that it was a good thing. That is one of my favorite shows! I loved it at first, and it got much better with some retooling of the cast this year. I will be deeply upset if this is the last episode ever tonight. Also, Shannon and Boone are on Lost this week. What the hell!?! And Billy Dee Williams. Gotta love Lando. And the Battlestar Galactica season finale last night was FANTASTIC!!! OMG!!! I can't believe who The Four are!!! And who is the last one? I have to wait until frackin' January to find out? Come on!

Ok, Top Ten People I'm Glad Share My Birthday (which is today, by the way)
10. J-Kwon - Ok, I don't even know who the rapper is. But I only found ten people who share my birthday. Although a Krogers clerk a couple of weeks ago should prob beat him for #10. And the fictional character of Capt. Kirk (Nimoy's dig on Shatner) also has this birthday. Let's call it a three way tie.
9. Martin Short - Sorry. I don't think he's been funny since Three Amigos.
8. Diana Ross - So, yeah. Um. Yeah.
7. Kenny Chesney - I actually own his greatest hits, though I haven't listened to them since I bought them. I was dating a country music fan at the time, who was in love with him.
6. Alan Arkin - I want to see Little Miss Sunshine!
5. James Caan - Great actor. Just great.
4. Steven Tyler - I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to fall asleep. Cause you'll probably be dead before I wake up, you old geezer. :)
3. Keira Knightley - Soooooooooo hot!
2. T. R. Knight - Yep, good ol' George from Grey's, even I'm still pissed with him for sleeping with Izzy. You're a married man, George! Tequilia is no excuse!

And #1. Leonard Nimoy. Spock will always be my #1. Yay Spock!


Qop! (I haven't really kept up with Idol since the final 24, but props to this quote)
"Did you know that Sanjaya is an ancient Indian name meaning 'William Hung'?" ~ Jay Leno

Frozen Beverages

I love frozen beverages. Who doesn't? I always have, from my first Icee or milkshake, to my most recent daiquiri or mudslide. Any one is tasty, even in cold weather, and I indulge from time to time. My problem is that I can never make a truly great one at home. I can do all right with a blender, but they just don't have the consistency to be really really great. You would think with today's technology, and the fact that frozen beverages are not a new invention, that an easy-to-use machine would be available for the general public. Or has there not been enough demand for one? And if so, why not? I, at some point in the next few years, will probably invest in an industrial style drink mixer, so that my frozen beverages will be close to the real thing. But will I ever accomplish my goal of making restaurant or bar quality beverages at home? I don't know.

Qop! (The Nine, Kim Raver & Tim Daly)
Kathryn Hale: Guess we go back to our lives, then...
Nick Cavanaugh: I guess so

My Birthday Celebration!

My birthday is Monday, March 26th, and as I haven't really done much the last few birthdays, and I have been a very busy guy, I am more than ready to blow off some steam this year. My good friend, Nick Arganbright, has graciously agreed to help me celebrate on FRIDAY, MARCH 23rd. I think we're going to begin the evening fairly tamely, maybe some grub, a showing of TMNT. Then we'll hit some bars at Easton, possibly look for a few more, um, interesting places to go, and then some more bars. Basically a lot of drinking will be involved. It will be very unstructured, and there will be no schedule to keep. If you would like to meet up with us at any point in the evening, just text me (e-mail me if you don't have my phone number and I'll give it to you: me@actorsnightmare.com) and I'll tell you where we are at that moment, and if we are changing venues soon. It should be a blast. Also, we would really really really appreciate it if someone would agree to drive Nick and I around, so that we may partake as much alcohol as we like in a safe and responsible way. Any volunteers? PLEASE???

Qop!
"You gotta fight, for your right, to parrrrr-tay!" ~ Beastie Boys

Grey's Anatomy Spinoff

I have been getting more and more excited about the new Grey's Anatomy spin off. I love the show, and I can't wait for a double helping every week. Luckily, in the next 3 or 4 episodes before they do the two hour finale slash spin off pilot, there will be some more great things, including a new doctor, and Shoresh Adshaloo, or whatever her name is. I adored her on 24, X-Men 3, and The Exorcism of Emily Rose. And Callie (Tony award winning actress Sara Ramirez) will supposedly be discovered to be a lounge singer during her off shifts from the hospital. Yay! The bad thing is, the cast is supposedly up in arms that Addison got the spin off. They all wanted it. Oh, well. Now for the Top Ten Reasons I'm excited about the new Grey's Anatomy spin off. Most reference actors cast to star in the new show.
10. Chris Lowell... this actor has been so barely used on Veronica Mars this season that I have no idea if he's any good or not.
9. Merrin Dungey... although I was never a big fan of Francie on Alias, it's cool that she's been cast. Maybe I'll like her more this time.
8. Amy Brenneman... Star of Judging Amy and NYPD Blue, I never watched either. I hear she's great. Can't wait to see her.
7. I'm bound to learn to do some medical procedures if I keep watching this stuff.
6. No Meredith. That will make me smile. Meredith can be pretty lame.
5. Kate Walsh is like my favorite Grey's Anatomy star. If anyone deserves the spin off, it's her.
4. Lisa Kudrow... Who doesn't like Phoebe from Friends, or the numerous movie and other tv roles that Lisa has played? It surprises me that she has signed on to star, but I'm ok with it.
3. Marti Noxon... She helped Joss keep Buffy and Angel both high quality shows. I'm sure she can help Shonda do the same.
2. Tim Daly... I was so disappointed when Eyes and The Nine flopped, because I love Tim Daly, and I loved both shows. It's about time he was attached to a winning project. He's being billed at McDreamy 2.0 and a love interest for Addison.
1. Have you read that all star lineup I just talked about? Yeah, enough said. Grey's Anatomy as if it had been made with big names. It's got to do well.

Qop! (from Eyes, which I guess aired the rest of their season one from spring 2005 these past few months, but I missed them :()
Meg Bardo: Sir, with a soundproof room, a butane lighter and a pair of pliers, I'll get him to tell where that girl is.
Chris Didion: Well, be all that you can be.
Meg Bardo: Yes, sir.
Chris Didion: Let's keep that for the backup plan.
Meg Bardo: Right.

New Car!!!

Those of you who know me know what a crappy car I've been driving. Granted, I paid $900 two years ago, so I more than got my money's worth, but it's not a good feeling to have the brakes stop working. I felt like I was in a death trap every time I went out on the road. It got really bad last Saturday when the brakes were gone, and then only the right side got fixed, so every day I hit the brakes, the car lurched to the right majorly. My CV-something or other was also about ready to go, and that repair would have cost me more than I originally paid for the car. Now, after days of frustrating car shopping during time I didn't have, I had found my new car.
Now most people say new and mean new to them. I actually mean new period. It's a 2007 Suzuki Reno. That's a four door hatchback. It had 5 miles on it the first time I got inside. I didn't intend to buy a new car. I was always told that that was a bad idea. Yet the deal offered to me, especially taking into account the fantastic warranties (3 years bumper to bumper....they even change flat tires on the road for free!), it ended up being the best deal I found. I'm back in a year-long finance plan, payments and everything, but it's a really cool car. It gets 30 miles to the gallon. The oil only needs changed every 7,500 miles. It's the first car I've ever owned with a CD player. I'll try to get pictures posted soon. Oh, did I mention that the color is Sunburst? That's orange. Well, a really cool metallic orange; not a lame bright orange. I had my choice of colors, so this was intentional. It is awesome.

Qops! (from The Colbert Report)
"Like any good newsman, I believe that if you're not scared, I'm not doing my job."

Stephen Colbert: Look, I just think that Rosa Parks was overrated.
Conan O'Brien: Rosa Parks was overrated? That's-that's madness!
Stephen Colbert: Conan, last time I checked, she got famous by breaking the law.
Conan O'Brien: Breaking the law? She was standing up for a whole race of people. She was a freedom fighter!
Stephen Colbert: Conan, how do I know that there wasn't an old, sick, white man who needed that seat in the front of the bus?
Conan O'Brien: How can you say that?
Stephen Colbert: Conan, I'm gonna keep saying this until Rosa Parks's children apologize for what their mother did to that bus company!
Conan O'Brien: You want Rosa Parks's children to apologize?
Stephen Colbert: Absolutly.
Conan O'Brien: Gah! Okay, I'm sorry. I have no choice.
[shoots Stephen in the chest, who then rises up a second later]
Stephen Colbert: [unaffected] Typical East-coast, Ivy League educated response.
Conan O'Brien: [pause] We'll take a break. We'll be right back.
Stephen Colbert: Look, I respect your right to disagree with me. Don't get me wrong.
Conan O'Brien: I shot you very near the heart!

Vote Dailey for Vice President

Joe Blundo, a hilarious Columbus Dispatch columnist is running for President. To read all about his campaign (it is totally worth a read if you want a laugh), click here. I have applied through e-mail to be Vice President, on the ticket, and it would be awesome if you all e-mail Joe at jblundo@dispatch.com and lend your support to me as a Vice Presidential candidate. I don't think that anyone else of the roughly one dozen people that have applied for the position that have had people e-mail Joe. I really want this position. I think it would be awesome, and might even get a mention in the Dispatch, which could be good publicity for my book. Please please please do it! Thank you so much!

Qop! (The West Wing)
President Josiah Bartlet: I was watching a television program before, with a kind of roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. Toby, tell me: these people don't vote, do they?

Poor Car is Dead, Poor Fried Car is Dead...

So my car is dead. Sort of. The brakes went, and now the CV something or other is about to go. The brakes have been sort of fixed last night, but when you hit the brakes, the car lurches to the right because only the right side brakes work really well. Still better than the last few weeks, as Jonathan can attest to you. I am going car shopping today, but I have no money. I guess I need to do a loan, but with student teaching coming up and stuff, I am wary about committing to big bills. I am prob gonna try to buy about a $2500 car, but we'll see. Anyone know of a car I can buy? I HATE my car! I hate all cars! I need a mechanic who takes care of my car for me so that I don't have to worry about it. Anyone know someone willing to do it for $1 a week? :)

Qops! (from Sealab 2021)
Captain Murphy: It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!

Beck Bristow: [talking about working on the set of 'OZ'] Funny story about that... see... one time I was filming this scene where this guy was raping me...
Debbie DuPree: Ummm... how exactly is this story funny?
Beck Bristow: Oh, I forgot to say he was wearing a clown suit at the time.

LOST is a PUZZLE!!!

There are a series of FOUR Lost puzzles out, and there are no pictures to go by. I really wanted them when I saw them at Barnes & Noble before Christmas, but they retail for like $15 a piece! Then I found them last week on the clearance table for only $1! Well, I found two of them. They had two copies of #1 and two copies of #3. For that price, I bought them all, and passed one of each to Jonathan. They are each 1000 pieces. So it takes forever to put them together. When you finally do get it put together, it is just a series of scenes from the show. Then you have to carefully flip the whole thing over and turn off the lights, and letters on the back glow in the dark! Apparently, though, its all coded, and you have to put together all four to figure out the spoilers. I spent a long time this weekend on #1: The Hatch. Thank you David, Bob, Malissa, and Lauren for helping me to finish in just four days! The other ones won't come nearly so quick.

Tomorrow, provided my Ebay box arrives, I will be starting #2: The Others, and then there is #3: The Numbers and #4 Before the Crash. #4 was only released a couple of weeks ago so I don't know when I'll get it. Lots to do! I don't have time for this. Why did I even start??? Still, you have to agree, its way cool!

Speaking of Lost, the recent episodes have been very good. I know that the Hurley episode didn't advance the arcs, but the Hurley / Gin / Sawyer / Charlie stuff was just fantastic dialogue and acting. The Jack episode was lame, like him, but Juliet was pretty good, and Desmond was one of the best to date!

Qop! (from Sealab 2021)
[Discussing what they would have if their brains were in robots]
Captain Murphy: Wait a minute, he gets eye beams, but I can't get x-ray vision?
Sparks: Okay... everybody gets x-ray vision.
Captain Murphy: Yeah, and big chainsaw hands!

Marco: Once again, your stupidity has killed us!

Derek 'Stormy' Waters: Okay, okay. So, say I put my brain in a robot body and there's a war. Robots versus humans. What side am I on?
Debbie DuPree: Humans! You have a human brain.
Sparks: But... the humans discriminate against you. You can't even vote!
Marco: We'd better not have to live on a reservation. That would really chap my caboose.
Captain Murphy: Yeah, but... nobody knows you're a robot. You look the same.
Debbie DuPree: Uh, uh. Dogs know. That's how the humans hunt you.
Derek 'Stormy' Waters: They're gonna' hunt me? For sport?
Marco: That's why we have to CRUSH mankind! So you might as well get on board for the big win, Stormy.

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger March 2007 Edition

I have neglected my 'new' feature that I announced several months ago, a Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger. I now pledge anew to post one every month. This is my edition for March 2007.

Tip of My Hat to NBC
For The Black Donnellys. This show is fantastic! I love it! I did not expect Tommy to go ape shit at the end at all! But then again, it is a drama, and a true one at that. The flashbacks are kind of lame, but everything else is a-ok.
Wag of My Finger to NBC
For pulling Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip off the air for the time being. DO NOT cancel it! DO NOT cancel 30 Rock either. It had a rocky start, but ended up being really funny.
Tip of My Hat to Anna Nicole Smith
Why you may ask? I mean she was totally lame and gross and... But she died! So even though the news is obsessed with her now, that means stories about her will finally go away! YAY! You may think that sounds insensitive, to which I say, I know it is.
Wag of My Finger to Britney Spears
Really, Britney, if you want to be a huge whore slut and dance around without any panties, do it in my room, not in public.
Tip of My Hat to Jonathan Stewart, Lisa Pruitt, Mary Sink, & Michael Newsome
For their fantastic performances in the musical City of Angels! I know I already wrote a whole entry, but I have to say it again. Fantastic. Go see their next show, in which they all play much bigger roles. For information about tickets, go here.
Wag of My Finger to MySpace Blogs
I loved when I had all my friends blogs bookmarked and could just check them periodically, and they didn't post too too often. With MySpace blogs, they get on to check other things and post all the freakin' time and I can't keep up! Damn you MySpace!
Tip of My Hat to You Tube
After the six episodes (and counting) series Chad Vader, and Charlie the unicorn, I have to give You Tube props. Gotta love 'em.
Wag of My Finger to Jack Nicholson
If you want to look like a penis, fine, just don't show up at The Academy Awards looking like one.
Tip of My Hat to the Academy Awards
Ellen made an excellent host and Jennifer Hudson so deserved that Oscar.
Wag of My Finger to President Bush
This will probably be a permanent addition to the TOTHWOMF list, at least until he leaves office. My peeve with him now? The troop surge. Death totals are high again. Give it up! You suck as president, dude! Resign!

Qops! (from Sealab 2021)
Captain Murphy: Way to go Sparks, you broke the monitor and you're dead. Happy?

(after Stormy called Quinn 'the Black Dr. Quinn')
Dr. Quentin Q. Quinn: Man, how'd you feel if everyone went around calling you "White" Stormy?
Derek 'Stormy' Waters: [Gasps] You mean there's a BLACK Stormy?

City of Angels

I went down to Axis last night and saw City of Angels, a musical several of my friends were in. It was great. I highly recommend everyone goes and sees it next Friday night. You can get tickets at centerstageplayers.com To be honest, I think my friends were among the most, if not the most, talented in the cast. Jonathan had a small part, but he cracked me up, especially when rubbing lotion on a hot woman's leg and acting like he liked it. :) Mary and Lisa were members of the quartet, which was a sort of chorus but much more interesting, and they were hilarious! They did lots of cool stuff that kind of held the shoe together. Mary's facial expressions were to die for, and when Lisa grabbed Jonathan and held his face in her boobs, I almost peed my pants. I saved Michael for last because all I can say about him is... WOW! He played a Latina cop out to get the detective in the murder mystery, and every time he came on stage, he totally stole the show. He was a larger than life character, and his musical number was the best. I can't wait to see them all star in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum in April. Esther and I are prepetual audience members now. :)

Also, the Grey's Anatomy spinoff, Taye Diggs is going to costar! And it will be an ensemble cast. Cool. Oh, and I moved the speakers and laptop away from my TiVo, and it seems to be working fine again. Who ever knew that that would mess things up?

Qop!
"You bitch!" ~ Jonathan's improved line when the hot women exposes his homosexuality