Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Normalcy

For anyone that knows me, you know that every so often (like once a week) I have some depressed time where I ponder everything in my life and dwell on the past. For those of you not used to this part of me, know that I am 95% happy, healthy, and like my life. I finally like myself and what I've accomplished and can appreciate it. It was something I struggled with for years. My low self-esteem has even approved. I am no longer willing to change for someone. However, after watching Season 3 of Dawson in about 5 days and injesting half a bottle of rum (it was a small bottle and I mixed it with coca-cola!), plus I am listening to BNL's Brian Wilson (the live recording from their Columbus concert in July - it rocked!) I am in one of those moods.
Mainly, this stuff sets in after watching sappy stuff. I hate being alone and am a hopeless romantic. This combination is not good. I have a few friends whom I would date but aren't interested, but I truly believe I have not met the right person yet. I also believe (or try to believe) I will meet that person, hopefully sooner rather than later. I had a life plan since Kindergarten. By 20, maybe earlier, I would begin to date a wonderful woman. At 22 we would get engaged, at 23 I would be married (my mom married at 23) and by 26 or so I would have a child. I want a daughter. :) Well, I have dated two girls in my life. The first lasted a little under six months, was wonderful, but I realize we weren't right for each other and I wish her the best. The second, whom I always refer to as WB, was a terrible and traumatic experience that was strung out well over a year and resulted in several breakups and me being strung along, and then another year to get over her. I half believe she is the antichrist since she fools many people and I actually lost some friends over her. Oh, well. Maybe they weren't my real friends anyway. I found out this afternoon that she will be living locally, which also upset me a lot. I counted the days until she left town hoping I would never see her again, but I guess I'm going to have to put up with seeing her occasionally. I'm just glad I'm over her, although I hate the negative feelings the sight of her invokes.
Anyway, this isn't about her. This is about me. I am afraid from time to time I will be in my mid-20's and not married, which I feel is too late. I wanted to be married by 23. I know the national average is now more like 28, which I feel is far too late for me. And yet I am happy. I have a good life. I am very unsure about my career and can't wait to get my degree from Otterbein, but I'm actually liking my job in the pizza shop again (I started hating it when I dated WB. Hmm.) and I just finished writing an actual book which I hopeto gte published. Anyone want to proofread for me? Well, I am going to sit here and drink a little more, just slack off. Afterall, after today I probably won't get a day off for months. Come stop by and see me some time. Despite my little bad mood ramble, I feel so much better after writing and am slowly getting into a good mood again. I'd like to have some friends around about now. Join me, will you?

Also, we ARE having a big New Year's Eve party this year, and unlike last year it WILL be formal, even if Tim and I are the only ones in tuxes. Mark your calendars!