24 Season Six

As we were watching 24 tonight, I came up with an absolutely ridiculous idea for 24's sixth (and if they did it) final season. Here is how it would go:
It has been 18 months since Season 5...
6PM-7PM Jack arrives at his hosue to find it dark. Tony is with him. They go in, sneaking through the house in suspicion. Jack pulls out his gun and shoots Edgar as the lights come up for...his bachelor party!
7PM-8PM Edgar has died, but they just party over him as he is too fat to move. Jack starts to get totally blitzed, and dances on the table. Tony, Curtis, Buchanon, Chase, Mike, Aaron, Palmer's brother, and Lynne all party with him.
8PM-9PM The stripper shows up. It's Mrs. Logan! That damn Edgar booked her. What an idiot.
9pm-10PM Jack has gotten so drunk that he sleeps with Kim anyway. She passed out and he and Tony, the only two still standing, head out on the town with only mild protests from Lynne.
10PM-11PM Jack goes to a strip club. Kim is the dancer! Oh, well. He's so drunk he sleeps with her too. Meanwhile Mrs. Logan has awoken and tracked him down. Cat fight.
11pm-12AM Mrs. Logan and Kim have both been injured and taken to CTU hopsital. Jack and Tony keep bar hopping.
12AM-1AM Audrey wakes up and begins to prepare. It takes a lot of time to make her pretty.
1AM-2AM More uproarious partying, more preparing.
2AM-3AM Jack falls down beside Michelle, Terry, Palmer, and all the other character's graves, weeping. Audrey is still primping.
3AM-4AM Some terrorist stuff begins to happen. Chloe shows up and upsets Aubrey when she tells her that she's fucking ugly.
4AM-5AM Jack discovers that Tony is a mole and tortures him.
5AM-6AM Jack discovers Tony is actually a good mole working for Palmer, who isn't really dead.
6AM-7AM Jack takes his new info to Logan, who immediately surrenders the country to France, just in case. Chloe makes a cameo because we miss her.
7AM-8AM Jack stops the terrorists. Audrey is now done with makeup, ready to start hair.
8AM-9AM Mike and Aaron wake up, assume that they were all drugged, and head off to find Mrs. Logan and ask her what happened. Chloe again insults Mrs. Logan
9AM-10AM An evil baker steals the cake. Mrs. Logan is carted off to a mental institution because her husband doesn't believe she is actually a stripper, as he hasn't slept with her in years.
10AM-11AM Jack discovers the evil baker was hired by Edgar, with the help of Chloe. He recovers the cake. Chloe covers him and shoots people.
11AM-12PM Terrorists come back and demand that Jack be handed over to China for execution.
12PM-1PM Jack fights the would-be assasian, the lesbian from every season. She escapes, but we will never see her again.
1PM-2PM Jack defeats China and gets them to surrender to Logan, who is so surprised and startled he surrenders to Ethipopia. Mrs. Logan escapes the mental ward and tries to kill Audrey to win Jack's heart.
2PM-3PM The wedding planner is late and the wedding is in chaos! Jack's friends are all off searching for him, including Tony who has finally been released. They assume he must have died.
3PM-4PM Audrey is told that Jack is dead. A whole day's beauty work is ruined. Jack goes looking for the wedding planner.
4PM-5PM Jack discovers the wedding planner is nine hours away. he makes it to her in 15 minutes.
5PM-6PM Jack's friends arrive at the wedding, Audrey realizes he's alive, Chloe ruins the wedding by opening her mouth, but they get married anyway. Then, because the series is over and the producers want to delight the fans, Chloe kills Kim for no reason.

Qop!
"This epsiode takes place between (insert hour) and (insert hours) on the Day of the California Presidential Primary." ~ 24 Season One Opening
"Beruit, I've been shot!" ~ Beige Queen, 24
"I did it for you, David." ~ Sherry Palmer, 24