Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger April 2007 Edition

It's April 2nd, but at least I am posting it this month, as this is only my third TOTHWOTF, and only my second keeping to the schedule. Yay!

Tip of the Hat to Lost
As long as Nikki and Paolo are actually dead. Fantastic episode.
Wag of the Finger to my New Manager at Champps
Learn how to make cuts!!!
Tip of the Hat to Steak Quesadillas
I have been eating these delicious things at Champps after work several times in the last few weeks, and they are quite tasty. Everyone should have some.
Wag of My Finger to Network Television
Every year they tease us with tantalizing morsels of good television, such as The Winner, Eyes, The Nine, and Reunion, and then they yank the plug. Some they even let on go long enough for me to fall in love with like What About Brian?, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and The Class. How dare you take away my shows and replace them with shit like Two & A Half Men!!!
Tip of My Hat to Congress
For finally passing a budget that stipulates a pullout from Iraq. Yes, I know it's a mess, but it's over, we can't do any more good without doubling our troops, and no one wants that. Give it up. We're done. Let us go home.
Wag of My Finger to Congress
Since only just over half of you are willing to pass the aforementioned law, you won't be able to overturn Premiere Dictator Bush's veto. Shame on you lame Congressional Republicans!
Tip of the Hat to China
Even though you have been rated our biggest threat for about the last decade, if not longer, you haven't attacked us yet. Thank you!
Wag of My Finger to Paper Cuts
You are small and insignificant. Quit hurting so badly! It's just not fair!

Qops! (from American Dad!)
Steve Smith: I touched her hand, her hand touched her boob. By the transitive property, I touched her boob! Algebra's awesome!

Roger the Alien: Is that a Chinese baby?
Stanley Smith: Sure is! Japanese, to be specific.

Stanley Smith: Son, if you ever get captured by any terrorists in the neighborhood and end up on al-Jazeera, just blink you location in Morse code. I'll have a bomb dropped on your location immediately.
Steve Smith: But, Dad, then I'd get killed too.
Stanley Smith: Ah, come on son, there are plenty of kids to play with in heaven. Your cousin Billy. That little girl from Poltergeist. She must be about 16 by now, you could totally tap that.

Hayley Smith: My mother stole my boyfriend!
Stanley Smith: And your boyfriend stole my wife! Let's get back at them by dating each other! Wait a minute... Daddy didn't think that one through.

TV Reviews #1 2006-2007

So once again the new tv season is underway, and though I promised myself I wouldn't, I am watching too many shows. Here are my reviews of the season premieres so far, broken down by category. I plan on dropping about half of these in the next couple of weeks. Sorry.

NOT SO GOOD (Probably won't watch): Smith - great premise that doesn't work so well with the cast it has.
Shark - James Woods and Jeri Ryan are great, but the script didn't hook me, nor did the supporting characters, except maybe the daughter.
Til Death - Not a bad show, pretty funny, but it is competing against Earl and Smallville

GOOD: Bones - Dr. Brennan still hasn't found her father. Angela and Hobbes? Really?
Justice - Kerr Smith and Victor Garber shine, but will their clients always be innocent?
My Name is Earl - Back to the same old, same old of last year, but funny.
Ghost Whisperer - So is Aisha Tyler off the cast or not? I mean, she's dead. Weird episode.
Family Guy / American Dad - They just aren't as funny as they used to be.

GREAT: The Class - from David Crane, co-creator of Friends. I smell another hit.
The Office - Great episode, but I need Jim & Pam together!
Boston Legal - Aww, bring back Parker Posy. I love Shirley Schmidtho
Prison Break - Run, Michael, Run! And go pick up Sarah!!!!!
How I Met Your Mother - How could Lily & Marshall break up? NOOOOO!
Men In Trees - The show I didn't expect to like, but it's like Sex and the City without the annoying Sarah Jessica Parker, and it doesn't pigeonhole the men.

PHENOMENAL: Grey's Anatomy - Grey's stpped it up last year, and so far, they are still delivering. But what will happen to Izzy? And will Meredith choose Derek?
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - Aaron Sorkin is back, and with a cast like Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford, Amanda Peet, Steven Weber, Nate Corrdry, Donna Murphy, etc, how can he lose?

Anticipated Upcoming Shows: Saturday Night Live (down five cast members with Seth Meyers as head writer and Weekend Update cohost), Six Degrees (I know it premiered already, but I'm busy!), Everybody Hates Chris, Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters, Smallville, The Nine, Lost, Twenty Good Years, 30 Rock, Help Me Help You, What About Brian? Veronica Mars

Qop!
"Thank god for digital recording technology and not needing sleep!" ~ Me

Premiere Season Part One of Two

Sorry it has been awhile since my last post. I wanted to watch as many premieres as I could before I did more reviews, and I didn't have much else to talk about. Here is Part One of Two on my big premiere review! I did a few reviews before this, but this is a much bigger one, and will be followed next week when the rest of the shows (except The Colbert Report, which doesn't premiere until October 17th) have premiered.
Arrested Development (Monday, Fox, 8pm) ~ I had never seen the show until the Season Three premiere, but wow is it amazing! This episode dealt with George Sr. having escaped and been replaced by his brother Oscar in jail. Michael blows off promises to George Michael and Job to go find his father, but George Michael ends up in Reno anyway, and the two of them are soon kidnapped by Geroge Sr. Meanwhile, Lindsey sets off to win Tobias back, not knowing that Kitty dumped Tobias and Tobias is now a waiter instead of a member of Blue Man Group (George Sr got the Blue Man part). When Lindsey arrives, she finds Tobias making out with their lawyer, played by Henry Winkler, who is in full Blue Man makeup. So are those two closeted homos going to get together? Who knows? Now George Michael is waiting to make out again with his cousin Maybe, who is making out with her crush, Steve Holt, who is actually her uncle Job's son, and so is her cousin too. I went and watched Season One this week as well and was highly impressed. Amazing show! Score: 5/5
How I Met Your Mother (Monday, CBS, 8:30pm) ~ Alyson Hannigan and Neil Patrick Harris shine in this comedy, but are only minor players. The lead is a bit flat. It has potential to be a cute sitcom, but it needs to beef itseld up some more. We'll wait and see. Score: 3/5
Kitchen Confidential (Monday, Fox, 8:30pm) ~ Bradley Cooper competly leads this talented cast as a druggie ex-chef who gets a second chance and rounds up his old gang for his kitchen. Nicholas Brenden was great, and possibly gay? We're not sure. The scarf looked like it, but he was a pastry chef. The other supporting actors were ok. Score: 4/5
Prison Break (Monday, Fox, 9pm) ~ After 5 hours, this show continues to be riveting and good. The parts outside of the prison are a little bit of a drag, but I find myself wondering how it's all going to go down. It is brilliantly planned out and intriuging. The first five hours covered two weeks, and there are three weeks left before his brother is executed, so I predict time will begin slowing down, but we'll expect a breakout by February sweeps. At least, that's my hope. But what would Season two be about? Score: 4/5
Out of Practice (Monday, CBS, 9:30pm) ~ This new show was a surprise delight. Admittedly, Christopher Gorman, the main character and only "not real" doctor of the family could use some acting lessons, but Stockard Channing and Henry Winkler really shine as his recently divorced parents. My only regret is this will mean less of Channing on The West Wing and Winkler on Arrested Development this year. I predict Channing will be dropped from WW's opening credits. Score: 3/5
Medium (Monday, NBC, 10pm) ~ Patricia Arquette deserved her emmy, and this season opened with a bang. Months after Captain Push attempted to kill himself so that he could find out who a killer was and relay it to Allison, he lies in a coma. Allison and her husband Joe have seemingly fixed their marital problems, but they've only been pushed to the back as Allison hasn't been having dreams, and so not working. When Push's father begins to appear to Allison and tell her she needs to listen to his son, she of course figures everything out. But will her marriage survive another season of her job? I look forward to great things this season. Score: 4/5
Bones (Tuesday, Fox, 8pm) ~ Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz have some of the best chemistry on television. Couple that with a delightful supporting cast, and this show has some great potential. Of course, Boreanaz is 'seeking redemption for past wrongs', but I promise it's not a repeat of Angel! I hope the writing gets better, but I see good things in it's future. Score: 3/5 (Actors: 5/5)
My Name is Earl (Tuesday, NBC, 9pm) ~ I love Jason Lee, and this show is great for that actor. He is trying to make up for bad stuff after he heard about karma from Carson Daly. It was good, but unfortunately the premiere will be my only viewing, as Commander in Chief and The Amazing Race have our DVR tied up. I like Lee, so watch it, and if CiC fails, I'll be back. Score: 2.5/5
Lost (Wednesday, ABC, 9pm) ~ Returning for it's sophomore year, Lost blew me out of the water! It actually answered some of it's secrets this week! The hatch was very well done. The show focused on Jack, but gave interesting things to Kate, Locke, and Hurley. Other than that, Shannon, Siyad, and Walt each appeared, and the other main characters were no where to be seen, other than a few other brief glimpses. What about the fate of those on the raft? They are still in the cast list, although we expect another character death soon. And I can't wait to see Michelle Rodriguez and the other survivors from the back half of the plane. It promises to be exiciting. Score: 4.5/5
Invasion (Wednesday, ABC, 10pm) ~ This show gets maybe one more chance. It was pretty lame and I have too much to watch as it is. It was a stupid plot, aliens invading Florida by taking over people, and not as creepy as it should have been. Do you think perhaps that's what happened to Jeb and George? Just asking. :) Flat characters and weak story made this hard to sit through. Score: 1/5.
Joey (Thursday, NBC, 8pm) ~ I don't care what people say, I like Joey. I don't like they felt the need to revamp the cast for this season. I'm not a big fan of Joey's new friend and co-star, although I'm glad Joey finally landed a big movie role. I do enjoy his sister's new job and Jennifer Coolidge finally appearing in every episode. They should dump Miguel and make Coolidge's other assistant a main. He is the new Gunther. This season will be better, and hopefully Alex and Joey will stay together and finally give him a real relationship. Plus, we need some Friends to make apperances! Score: 3.5/5
Everybody Hates Chris (Thursday, UPN, 8pm) ~ Another show I can only give one week because Alias and Joey are non negotiable (kiss it Michael :)), but it was pretty good. Maybe a bit overhyped. I've always liked Chris Rock, but I've never loved him. The show is just comedy. And where else are you going to hear nigger and other racial slurs at 8pm on broadcast tv? It was a little bit not my style of humor, but still enjoyable. Score: 3/5.
Reunion (Thursday, Fox, 9pm) ~ I love this show. It is crappy tv, like Dawson's Creek, but that's why I like it. The actors are great, especially Chyler Leigh from The Practice. I can't wait to see who is dead and who killed them. It keeps me coming back for more, and I really get into it. This one year per season thing doesn't work real well though as the episodes cover a few days, maybe weeks, and then it's a year later. That bugs me. But I'll get over it. Score: 3/5
Threshold (Friday, CBS, 9pm) ~ Brannon Braga's first big non-Star Trek tv show. He brings the dark side he took to First Contact, Voyager, and Enterprise, and makes it scarier. Very good plot, very good story. Brent Spiner (The Next Generation) and Robert Patrick Benedict (Felicity) are definitely my favorite actors on the team of geeky scientists, especially with Spiner's biting wit that sets his character apart from Data. But Carla Gugino as the star works for me too. The only I don't like in the cast is Peter Dinklage, but that may be because his character is just such an ass. I have high hopes for this show. Score: 4/5.
Family Guy and American Dad (Sunday, Fox, 8 and 8:30pm) ~ Still good. Nothing else to report over last time. Just watch them. Score: 4/5
Coming Next Time: Commander in Chief, Boston Legal, Close to Home, Night Stalker, Veronice Mars, Alias, Will & Grace, Ghost Whisperer, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, The West Wing, Saturday Night Live, The Amazing Race?, America's Next Top Model?, Apprentice: Martha Stewart?

Qop!
"If I were a carpenter, and you were my lady, I'd nail you." ~ www.ruminate.com

Happy Birthday Timmy J!

Tomorrow would have been Timothy Jesser's birthday. I miss him. We had a little party for him on Saturday at T.G.I.Fridays. It was great. Friends, teachers, his family, fun, cake, food, pictures, and memories. I am so glad we did it. I don't know how much else to put on here about it because I've written about it before and I've said what I wanted to say, several times over. I am dedicating my first book to him, had planned on it since I first started writing, so that will be my tribute.
Then a bunch of us went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I had no desire to see it because it looked scary, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was a courtroom thing with flashbacks to the exorcism and while those were a bit startling, it was very well done. And it was based on a true story. This girl named Emily died and the priest who had earlier performed an unsuccessful exorcism on her was charged for negligence for encouraging her to abandon medical treatment. It was very dramatic and cool. I won't tell you how it ends. The priest and his lawyer were great actors, and it had our favorite beige queen from last season's 24.
Continuing with season premiere critiques, American Dad's Patrick Stewart heavy premiere was great. Stan's liberal daughter begins seeing his conservative, very old, boss (Stewart). The sex jokes out of Stewart's mouth are hilarious. Family Guy was even funnier. Brian began dating Meg's black teacher, and Peter decided he would replace Brian's friendship with James Woods. There was a great scene on the bridge of the Enterprise-D with Stewart and Michael Dorn and possibly Jonathan Frakes lending their voices. That is it so far on the premieres, although I have to comment that The Flight That Fought Back on Discovery was very moving. It was about Flight 93 that crashed in Pennsylvania on Sept. 11

Qop! (long one, but good; from the Buffy episode "Flood")
GILES: (over his shoulder) You're a very stupid girl.
WILLOW: What? Giles...
GILES: (turns to face her) Do you have any idea what you've done? The forces you've harnessed, the lines you've crossed?
WILLOW: I thought you'd be ... impressed, or, or something.
GILES: Oh, don't worry, you've ... made a very deep impression. Of everyone here ... you were the one I trusted most to respect the forces of nature.
WILLOW: Are you saying you don't trust me?
GILES: (intensely) Think what you've done to Buffy.
WILLOW: I brought her back!
GILES: At incredible risk!
WILLOW: Risk? Of what? Making her deader?
GILES: Of killing us all. Unleashing hell on Earth, I mean, shall I go on?
WILLOW: No! (stands) Giles, I did what I had to do. I did what nobody else could do.
GILES: Oh, there are others in this world who can do what you did. You just don't want to meet them. (turns away again)
WILLOW: No, probably not, but ... well, they're the bad guys. I'm not a bad guy. (upset) I brought Buffy back into this world, a-and maybe the word you should be looking for is "congratulations."
GILES: Having Buffy back in the world makes me feel ... indescribably wonderful, but I wouldn't congratulate you if you jumped off a cliff and happened to survive.
WILLOW: That's not what I did, Giles.
GILES: (angry) You were lucky.
WILLOW: I wasn't lucky. I was amazing. And how would you know? You weren't even there.
GILES: If I had been, I'd have bloody well stopped you. The magicks you channeled are more ferocious and primal than anything you can hope to understand, (even more angry) and you are lucky to be alive, you rank, arrogant amateur!