Happy Birthday Timmy J!

Tomorrow would have been Timothy Jesser's birthday. I miss him. We had a little party for him on Saturday at T.G.I.Fridays. It was great. Friends, teachers, his family, fun, cake, food, pictures, and memories. I am so glad we did it. I don't know how much else to put on here about it because I've written about it before and I've said what I wanted to say, several times over. I am dedicating my first book to him, had planned on it since I first started writing, so that will be my tribute.
Then a bunch of us went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I had no desire to see it because it looked scary, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was a courtroom thing with flashbacks to the exorcism and while those were a bit startling, it was very well done. And it was based on a true story. This girl named Emily died and the priest who had earlier performed an unsuccessful exorcism on her was charged for negligence for encouraging her to abandon medical treatment. It was very dramatic and cool. I won't tell you how it ends. The priest and his lawyer were great actors, and it had our favorite beige queen from last season's 24.
Continuing with season premiere critiques, American Dad's Patrick Stewart heavy premiere was great. Stan's liberal daughter begins seeing his conservative, very old, boss (Stewart). The sex jokes out of Stewart's mouth are hilarious. Family Guy was even funnier. Brian began dating Meg's black teacher, and Peter decided he would replace Brian's friendship with James Woods. There was a great scene on the bridge of the Enterprise-D with Stewart and Michael Dorn and possibly Jonathan Frakes lending their voices. That is it so far on the premieres, although I have to comment that The Flight That Fought Back on Discovery was very moving. It was about Flight 93 that crashed in Pennsylvania on Sept. 11

Qop! (long one, but good; from the Buffy episode "Flood")
GILES: (over his shoulder) You're a very stupid girl.
WILLOW: What? Giles...
GILES: (turns to face her) Do you have any idea what you've done? The forces you've harnessed, the lines you've crossed?
WILLOW: I thought you'd be ... impressed, or, or something.
GILES: Oh, don't worry, you've ... made a very deep impression. Of everyone here ... you were the one I trusted most to respect the forces of nature.
WILLOW: Are you saying you don't trust me?
GILES: (intensely) Think what you've done to Buffy.
WILLOW: I brought her back!
GILES: At incredible risk!
WILLOW: Risk? Of what? Making her deader?
GILES: Of killing us all. Unleashing hell on Earth, I mean, shall I go on?
WILLOW: No! (stands) Giles, I did what I had to do. I did what nobody else could do.
GILES: Oh, there are others in this world who can do what you did. You just don't want to meet them. (turns away again)
WILLOW: No, probably not, but ... well, they're the bad guys. I'm not a bad guy. (upset) I brought Buffy back into this world, a-and maybe the word you should be looking for is "congratulations."
GILES: Having Buffy back in the world makes me feel ... indescribably wonderful, but I wouldn't congratulate you if you jumped off a cliff and happened to survive.
WILLOW: That's not what I did, Giles.
GILES: (angry) You were lucky.
WILLOW: I wasn't lucky. I was amazing. And how would you know? You weren't even there.
GILES: If I had been, I'd have bloody well stopped you. The magicks you channeled are more ferocious and primal than anything you can hope to understand, (even more angry) and you are lucky to be alive, you rank, arrogant amateur!

Freshmen Year

This week I am following the example of some of my friends and posting college memories. This is Week 7 of my final quarter here at the 'bein, and it is a bit emotional. Here are the memories from my freshman year.

-Didn't want to go to college, didn't want to do marching band.
~Within moments of arriving at OC, loved college, loved marching band.
~Missed my old friends had hung out with them all summer, hung out one saturday in october, and suddenyl had lots of new friends.
~Nate sleeping on my dorm room floor for a week
~being in a squad with jenn and amber and someone else...don't remember who.
~watching All in the Family until my roommate old me to flip to news on the second day of classes: Setember 11, 2001. Not concentrating in class, being scared, canceling afternoon classes.
~Hanging out with Heather Deem over in Davis
~Dinner with Jami Letizia and her band directors, and Roy and Amber and K
~Being pregnant with Liz's baby
~Dating K for exactly one month
~Julie encouraging me to date K, and me trying to help her with a boy she didn't get
~bowling and winding up asleep on the floor with Julie
~Dating Julie for 5 1/2 months
~Esther's 21st b-day party
~Going out to dinner and getting the 'contract' signed with Scott, Evan, Erin, and Timmy J
~Playing soccer with Absurdly Green (Julie, Kristen, etc.)
~Scott coming out of the closet to me
~Brian Grey was only 20% gay
~Hanging out with Brandon
~Falling asleep during concerts
~Pledging Kings. Enough said. :)
~Seeing OC win nationals in basketball with Liza, Nora, and Julie
~Trip to Colorado with Julie, Nora, and Steph
~Having sex on the grassy knoll with Kristen (not really)
~A roommate I never talked to
~Skiing with Julie, Steph, and Jeremie. Sleeping on Steph's parents' floor.
~King's formal with Andy
~Hanging out at the Kings house, being depressed sleeping there
~Roy and Boogie getting me to drink Smirnoff for the first time
~Boogie introducing me to Kevin Smith
~All of us in Boogie's room finding out how to be male porn stars
~"Losing my virginity" to a King's panel
~Evan composing the Jimmy Dailey song
~officially moving into the King's house with Evan, Boogie, Doug, Ivan, and the others.
~My black Santa Claus
~late nights on the Kings porch and walking t Dairy Queen drive through
~Dating K again come summer

That's all I can remeber at the moment. May do attional memories at the end of the week.

Also, it is Question Week in my away message. Today's question is (Feel free to answer it):
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor. Won't you be mine?

Qop!
"So we talked all night about the rest of our lives, where we're gonna be when we turn 25...keep on thinking things will never change, keep on thinking things will always stay the same. But we leave this year and we won't look back, no matter hanging on cause we're on a different track."
~ Vitamin C, Graduation Day

Scoring

Hmm. That title best sums up the topics I wanted to cover today, but get your mind out of the gutter. I'm not talking about scoring as in sex. Well not really, anyway. :)

Firstly, we had the annual Flyer's manager meeting / bowling tournament. West Jeff won this year, finally beating Galloway, who I believe has won every year up to this point. So like the last 3 years or so. Anyway, I ended up getting the second highest score for West Jeff in two rounds and third highest in the first game. Scott, my boss and owner, got first in all three. The Ulreys are all great bowlers. Anyway, it was close, but we scored and West Jeff won. Yay! I need to bowl more. I miss the every week trips with Timmy, Julie, Esther, Erin, Ivan, Nora, Scott, and assorted others. Aww.

Second, I watched Citizen Kane and RKO 281 this week. For those of you who don't know, Citizen Kane is widely considered to be the greatest American film ever made. Honestly, it's pretty boring, but that just means I need to watch it again because I didn't understand it enough. Basically it tells the story of William Randolph Hearst, one of the most powerful men in America when the film was made and basiclly owner of the entire national media. RKO 281 is the story behind the movie, and was made recently by HBO and stars a great cast. That movie is much more interesting. It's a good thing Orsen Wells made CK just before Hearst went backrupt, or it could have cost him his life, career, his everything. Yet it still cost him a lot. It's about figuring out the score of one's life. Very intriguing.

Thirdly, and this absurd notion just occured to me, and please don't read too much into it. Love stinks. You know that? I mean, I am just starting to date someone and am happy with the way things are going, but it occured to me what a raw deal love is. I mean, we've gone on two dates, I've spent like...um, I don't even know. Let's say around $75? They were pretty cheap dates, thank goodness because I'm poor right now. :) Then you talk about time, gas, etc. And we haven't even decided if this is just dating or if it'll ever be something more. How many other things do people just throw in tons of time, money, effort, energy, and souls to attain a goal they may or may not get? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for love. It is always totally worth it in the end. Even a bad relationship I had in the past, I wouldn't try to figure out how much I spent or keep score of how it turned out. And I'm not caring about money now. True love in the end, whether it be with the person I'm seeing now or someone I have yet to meet, only time will tell, is always well worth it. It's worth ten times what you end up paying. Yet from a logical standpoint, it seems really stupid and it stinks. Hmms. Well cynicism can kiss my ass because I love love. :)

JESUS!!!

I'm sorry I did not post on this last night, but last night was pretty emotional for me and I needed stress relief with friends, not writing. Last night was the second anniversary of Timmy J's death. I actually forgot until Nathan called me to tell me the Kingsmen were heading out to the dam. I got there about 45 minutes or so before the rest and just stood staring out over the water. I miss Timmy greatly. Everytime I think about him, I still get emotional. Yes, the vast majority of my memories of Timmy were good. I will share some in a moment. But the last two years, when concerning Timmy, have not been easy. And I'm not even in that circle of family or lifelong friends. I knew him just over a year. Yet I thought I had a great connection with him in that year and valued him a lot. These are the things I thought about as I looked over the water. Where was he now? Is he looking down on us? I thought I saw his face in a cloud, but I'm sure it was just my imagination. One of the Kingsmen joked that the lunar eclipse last night was because Timmy got in the way of the moon. :) Maybe he was right.

I met Timmy at bandcamp my freshman year. He was so enthusiastic. Listening to him wail away on his trombone to "Do What You Wanna" was a highlight. That fall I went out to dinner with Timmy, Evan, Erin, Esther, and Scott for Evan's birthday. Since everyone mentioned is graduated, I don't think I can get them in trouble. At that dinner Timmy 'made' me sign a contract on a napkin that said I would not pledge any other fraternity besides Kings. I had spent many nights bowling with those guys. Imagine the college's shock had they found out that an illegal contract was drawn up to a freshman signed by King's Treasure, Consistution Chairman, and the President of EKT as well as a couple of witnesses.

When I lived in the King house, Timmy used to open my mail. One day I was expecting a box of DVDs and Columbia House mailed the wrong one. Timmy opened it up and found Barbie's Nutcracker. I don't think he ever let me live that one down. I swear I did not order it, nor did I keep it! :) Many nights were spent hanging with him on that porch. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.

I went bowling a lot, and a lot of times Timmy was there. Wednesday, just a few days before the Saturday that he died, Timmy rode with me to the bowling alley. We got a chance to talk, and I really connected with the guy. Saturday, the afternoon before he died, I was trying to help him get a date with Amber, Whore Bitch's (Whom I was dating at the time) roommate. It wasn't exactly a success, but I am so greatful for getting to talk to him about important things the day he died.

The day we all found out will always vividly live in my memory. I had gone to work Sunday morning to work one of my 16 hours shifts. By noon Nathan was in tears on the phone with me. I know I didn't leave that office at work, despite the orders popping up on the screen. I called every manager and owner until one of them would come in for me, and then I sped back to Westerville. I tried to make sense of everything. I called my dad. I called Dr. Boehm. No one had any information, but I just wanted to get back. I stopped at the WB's room, then headed over to the police-taped-off King house. Andy & Andie were sitting in front of it. The sight chilled me. I walked down to the police station where the entire fraternity was gathering. People got off work and rushed home. We came together that night like no other. We cried, we hugged, we went to a small service the campus put on, we went to the dam, and most of all we joked and shared our memories through our tears. Last year we did a similiar ritual, and this year was a sort of like that too, except most of the old guys are gone now. It was my pledge class talking to the young guys who didn't know him. Jason asked them to keep the tradition alive. I plan to be sitting out on the dam next October 27. Please honor his memory if you knew him and do the same.