What About Jim?

Ok, so go ahead and make fun of me for my TV watching habits. I understand. Lately I have been watching a lot of tv, and if you don't realize why, go back and read my previous post. I picked up four new shows recently. What can I say? Spring break let me catch up and made me feel like I had time for new stuff, which I most definitely do not. I started a new part time job today and now I am working 65+ hours per week, so tv time is about plummet. No big deal there. So new shows. Free Ride is mildly entertaining. So is Pepper Dennis. The Loop is freakin' hilarious. What About Brian? is great. I thought it was a new JJ Abrams show, but while he produced it, he did not create it. It has a good cast including Rosanna Arquette from The Whole Nine Yards. The problem with the show is how the characters take relationships for granted. The plot focuses on 7 characters: six couples and Brian. One couple has been married for thirteen years with two little kids, but haven't had sex since their last baby was born six months ago. The wife has decided to have an open marriage. At first the guy is ticked, but now is kinda starting to go along with it, except he tells all potential lays about his wife and kids. I hate this plot. I want to be married, and I don't want it to ever be six months in between. I certainly would be very upset if my wife suggested an open marriage, even though she claims she'll never leave her husband and loves him. Another couple just got engaged and talk about how they are upset about not ever sleeping with other people again. Again, I am pissed at these characters. The third couple is having problems having a baby, but are devoted. That couple is one reason I watch the show. The main reason is Brian. He's this nice sweet guy who would treat a woman right, like me. Although my friends aren't all getting married, in fact none of them are, I feel like Brian because I feel like I am behind the game. To be perfectly honest, I'm not financially stable enough for marriage yet anyway so it's probably a good thing I'm single. But I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I think things are starting to look up for me. At least, I hope so. If only I could sell more copies of my book, but I'm working on it. The main difference between Brian and I is that he can easily get girls, which I never have been able to do. Plus his friends set him up all the time. Come on people! Set me up. :) The thing that bothered me about Brian in tonight's episode though is that he went after a date's roommate. That ticked me off and made me lose respect for him. Still, I'll keep watching.
I also finally watch the finale of Dawson's Creek last night. WONDERFUL.

Qop! (Jenn's speech to her baby as she is dying from the finale of Dawson's Creek)
Hi, Amy, it's mom. Well, by the time you see this, I won't be here anymore, and I know how much that sucks, for both of us. So seeing as how I won't be around to thoroughly annoy you, I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you. Well, there's the obvious. An education. Family. Friends. And a life that is full of the unexpected. Be sure to make mistakes. Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right? And, um, I want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream, and I insist that you, my girl, be a dreamer. God. I've never really believed in god. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists. But I hope that you are able to believe in god, because the thing that I've come to realize, sweetheart... is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for you to believe in something, because I promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always. And then there's love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you, I promise, and when you least expect it, like you, like spending the best year of my life with the sweetest and the smartest and the most beautiful baby girl in the world. You don't be afraid, sweetheart. And remember, to love is to live.

Spring Break

I'm poor and past college so I stayed home for spring break. You know what I have spent it doing? Working on my book, watching DVDs and tv shows, and laying around the house. Yeah, I spent like half a day job searching and came back with two new part time jobs, which means as of Monday, my life begins to get extremely busy. I figure that'll last a month or so and then something will have to give. I'll probably ditch one of the two new jobs. First I'm going to see which one I like the most. One is 25 hours a week with a $7/hr base pay, but if your comission is above it, as most people's is, you get that instead. Average pay is like $9/hr. I have a feeling that one will go, as it is Tuesday-Friday 5pm-10pm and Saturday 9am-2pm because it's just too much time. If I could ditch wednesday or thursday it might be tolerable. The other one is a job where I work on specific assignments, can do as many as I want when I want, and then get paid as I do them. This has the potential to be a lot of fun, but we'll see. Plus I'm still subbing, and that is probably the highest paid job of the lot, except for maybe the assignment one, but that one isn't as regular. So I am going to enjoy my last couple of days of break and not feel guilty about being lazy. It won't last much longer.

Qop!
"FAMILY GUY!! I damn you to hell! " ~ Randy Marsh, during the hilarious two part South Park, "Cartoon Wars" aired these past two weeks

Musings Part 1,383,292... or so it seems :)

So I've been watching Dawson's Creek (Lisa, you can read this. I won't spoil anything). The final season came out and of course I'm addicted to watching it, and of course being emotionally moved, sometimes to tears, as Dawson often does to me. But instead of getting into that, because I don't want to spoil anything for Lisa, I've been thinking about my life and intrests. When I was younger, I read constantly. I was incluenced greatly by Judy Blume, Beverly Clearly, Bruce Coville, Lynn Reid Banks, L. Frank Baum... and then later by Peter David, J.K. Rowling, Diane Carey, and many others. It was probably part of the reason I turned to writing. I wrote my first chapter book in 3rd grade. I have been writing ever since. In contrast, tv meant very little to me. A couple of years ago, however, I discovered what great storytelling can exist on tv. Yes, I still do enjoy the occasional dumb sitcom, but my fascination with tv stems from my fascination with storytelling, not because I'm a couch potato junkie. I couldn't imagine tv shows as good as books until I discovered Star Trek: Deep Space 9, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dawson's Creek, Firefly, Felicity, Lost, 24, and a host of others. The people that create this stuff (Joss Whedon, Ira Steven Behr, J.J. Abrams, etc.) are every bit as good a writer as the authors I loved. The actors they choose bring their stories to life, and while I still love books, there's a lot to be said for television, which is now in it's renaisance. Especially the serial series. When I was writing my first published book, I was just starting to discover the tv world. I think it did influence my writing. I imagined that book as a television season, and I would be thrilled beyond measure if someday it became one. I like to tell a serial story, where the part fit together, the story goes on for years, but it's one long story. One that is complicated, with characters that grow and change. I don't think I'm awesome at it, but I'm not ashamed of my first book, and I think my stories will continue to get better. I live life through my stories since I'm not leading the life I dream of. If I'm lucky, someday I will get to. We'll see. If you haven't read my book, please do so, then if you like it tell everyone. I will follow my dream of telling stories. In the meantime, I'm back to Dawson and watching others' stories. I need to know what's going to happen to Dawson, Joey, Pacey, Jenn, Jack, Grams, Todd, Audrey, Natasha, and the rest!

Qop! (from Season Six of Dawson's Creek)
Joey: Dawson, I'm sorry I don't have the same dreams I had when I was 15 years old, and I'm sorry that I moved on faster than you did, but you know what? Maybe not everything that happens to you is my fault! And maybe just because I want more from my life than...
Dawson: More than what? More than us? You don't know, do you? You've never known. The entire time I've known you, all you've wanted to do is escape. From me, from Capeside. I mean, you say that I'm the dreamer. I'm the one who doesn't wanna live in the real world. Well, I'm doing it, Joey. Right now. I'm living in the real world. It's you who wants the fantasy

Saturday, April 1

So, yeah I have a girlfriend now. And I'm not longer a virgin. And guess what? We're getting married. We're eloping in June as soon as school gets out.

In other news, I have decided to quit teaching and move to a hippie nudist buddist camp. No more school for me. I'm going to be a blacksmith. Cool, huh? There will be no tv or internet there, so better write me quick before it's too late.

So I've been getting bugged about what's going to happen next in my book, so here it is. You're going to find out that the geese are actually midget polar bears in costumes and no one is dead. The nuclear weapons just mutated everyone and they now roam the countryside eating brains. Also, Vince is gay and he and Romey are totally doing it, Auby and Wesley are too, and Walt is a crossdresser. Tommy is actually a cool actor who worships scientology and Dr. Smith's secret base is located in (GASP!) Atlantis! The series will end after Katie has sex with a goose and their offspring is a polar bear and they figure it all out, only to have aliens show up and blow up the planet.

Oh, yeah, and check the date again, because it's April Fools!!! Seriously, though, if you believed the stuff above, you deserve to be fooled.

Qop!
"After that, everyone treated me a lot different, except my sister. She must have belong to a group bigger and meaner than the Mafia. What's that, maybe Jehovah's Witnesses?" ~ A Girl Name Zippy

So I'm 23. Yawn

So I turned 23 on Sunday. Big whoop. Honestly, I had a good birthday because I had my favorite dinner with my parents, siblings, and grandparents, played some Euchre, and had a really good time. I also got some great presents, including The Golden Girls Season One from Michael. Yay! But the actuality of turning 23 wasn't all that exciting. I didn't lose any sleep in anticipation of the event, or really give it much thought as it came and went. I couldn't wait for the big 21st. I happened to be in Wales for the 20th and Colorado for the 19th. That was fun. I had a huge party for my 22nd because it was my last year in college. But 23, well, it just doesn't seem that big of a deal. Am I part the point where every birthday is a big day for me? Probably. Am I sad about it? A bit. Ah, well. Life goes on, and you keep getting older, even after 23.

Qop!
"Of course I'm happy. I have an international rock star babysitting my kids." ~ Jimmy Smits as Sanots on The West Wing, after a crazy day on the trail when Bon Jovi takes over kid watching duties

The Return of Chef

Aren't you guys lucky? I've been updating a lot lately. Today's topic: The Return of Chef. If you missed South Park last night, I am so sorry for you. I'm sure they'll rerun it. Here's the rundown of why it was so great. Isaac Hayes, who has voiced Chef for the nine seasons that have aired thus far, quit the show a week or two ago because South Park made fun of Scientology in a recent episode. Granted, the show makes fun of all religions and Hayes has never had a problem with it, until now. I guess he hold his religion to a higher standard or something. I think he's a big jerky hyprocrite for quitting the show over it, but that's just me. Oh, I know he says that wasn't the reason exactly, but everyone can read between the lines. Trey Parker and Matt Stone put together an amazing episode to transition to a series with no more of Hayes's Chef. The episode was called "The Return of Chef" and it ran last night. They faked a 'previously on South Park' where Chef ran off to join the Super Adventure Club. In last night's episode he returned, but started acting differently. He now wanted to turn his love making charms onto little children, such as the kids he serves lunch to at school. The dialogue was badly edited Hayes dialogue from other episodes, which made it all the funnier that something wasn't right. The boys discover that Chef was brainwashed by the Super Adventure Club. The Adventure Club climbs mountains and such, but the Super Adventure Club travels around the world and molests children. Ensuing is a parallel between the beliefs of the SAC and Scientology that never even tried to be subtle. It was hilarious. And in the end Chef chooses to stay with the SAC anyway, then is promptly impaled then torn apart by a mountain lion and a grzzily bear. The episode ends with a funeral in which Kyle proclaims that they should remember the wonderful man Chef was and not the crappy brainwashing he got sucked into (i.e. Isaac Hayes and Scientology). The coda reveals the SAC has put together a Chef Vadar, with a big reveal and a new voice, allowing the character to continue in a fun new way without Hayes, and as a villian. To top that off, Tom Cruise threatened not to promote MI3 for Paramount if they reran a certain episode last week, so they had to do different reruns instead of the scheduled ones. Paramount claims they switched reruns to honor Hayes, but again, the public knows better. Was that cool or what? Six more episodes left this season! I can't wait.

Qop!
"Oh my God, they killed Chef!"
"You bastards!" ~ Kyle and Stan, "The Return of Chef"

Random TV Mouthoff

Ok, so the string of shows that I try to keep up with have been frustrating me recently, so hear goes the mouthing off in no particular order. Audrey is not a villian, and they had better not kill of D.B. on 24. Can't wait for Michelle Forbes on Prison Break, and I think Mexican guy is gonna save the day on the execution. Why isn't Ted chasing after his girlfriend, or at least hooking up with Robin on How I Met Your Mother. I am sorry Lost but I am sick of your damn reruns. The West Wing has only three episodes left. I'm glad Toby is getting his focus and I hope he gets cleared even if he doesn't deserve it. Josh had better get back with Donna. Oh, and I hope they find Ainsley-Hayes in the basement. Grey's Anatomy continues to deliver consistently. Take a cue Desperate Housewives, whose place it has switched, although DW has it's moments. The Loop is good, Free Ride is ok, and Sons & Daughters is on it's last leg with me, even though it just premiered. I miss Joey. One episode back and it's gone again. Maybe it's for the best. Four Kings is back and good, Out of Practice is almost back, and where did Crumbs go? I couldn't care less about American Idol anymore. Mandisa is going to lose and there's not really anyone else great left. Sorry Paris. On Will & Grace, I am disappointed Taye ended up being such an ass. Well, Grace will get with Leo and Will will get with the policeman and Jack will be disappointed, but keep chasing. I am already showing that I watch too much tv, aren't I? If it weren't for the actors on Bones I would have stopped watching, although it is good. And Veronica Mars is going to have a thrilling end. Can't think of anything else. Thank goodness these shows aren't on every week or I'd be dead.

Qop! (24)
"Who is your informant?"
"Audrey Rains."
"No!"
"Everyone has their price."

A Date

So I'm going on a date. You know how weird that sounds? A friend from college called me up and asked me out. I said yes. Now I'm going on date. I have not been on a date in fifteen months, and haven't been in a relationship in two years and nine months. I don't know if this will lead to a relationship. I'm honestly not thinking that far ahead. I'm just marveling at long it's been. Granted, it took me a long time to get over the last girlfriend. I went on a few dates last winter, but nothing came of that. I am really looking forward to this date because I have been wanting to get out and go on one in so long. I always have liked girls, and was looking for my future wife in Kindergarten. I never actually got to go on dates or have a girlfriend until college, and by that time I incredibly frustrated because I was getting old. I always figured I would be married by the time I was out of college. That's the kind of guy I am. I'm the 'marrying type', not that date endless streams of women type. But most girls my age want to wait to get married. The average marriage age is 30! That's crazy. I'm going to be 23 next Sunday and I am not at all happy about the status of my love life, and whole I've come to enjoy the single life and have fun doing it, I won't miss it when it's gone. Like I said, I'm not even thinking long term tonight. I am only thinking of tonight, which I guess shows how my mindset has changed over time. Now that I've spilled my guts about something deeply personal over the internet, don't think I'm a loser, and don't say mean things on my blog, ok? :)

Qop! (from Veronica Mars)
Veronica's Father: So how was your date?
Veronica: Simple conversation, nothing much. But the sex was fantastic!
Veronica's Father: That's not funny.

Book Signing

So my book signing last night went fantastic! There were lots of people there. We did a Q&A for about 45 minutes or so, and all the questions were great. The audience ranged from people who had read the book and eagerly awaited the sequel to people who had heard absolutely nothing about the book, which gave me plenty to talk about. Some of my elementary school teacchers were there, which was really cool. There was also a reporter there that is doing an article on me and took pictures and stuff. How exciting is that? I am uber hyped right now, but it's off to school. Have a good day.

Qop!
"You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane." ~ William Shatner "Denny Crane", Boston Legal

TV Juggle

I don't understand why networks do it. Do you? The TV Juggle. You learn what night and time your favorite shows are, and then they rearrange them for absolutly no reason. Then, while my DVR can handle two shows at once, suddenly there are four shows you want to watch in one time slot, and no shows the rest of the night. Geez! I guess that means I have good taste because I pick the shows they want to put in their best time slot, but in a couple weeks some of those shows will be moved again and then I'll have missed episodes, which I don't like to do. Joey, surprisingly returns Tuesday. Yay! Arrested Development is already off the air after a two hour series finale. It may return on Showtime, but that does me absolutely no good. The biggest crime this season is that The West Wing only gets 5 more episodes to tie up the election and Leo's death. Oh, and Alias is getting less episodes to tie up that series than originally planned. A show that runs for years should get a full season to do a finale! Why do shows get cancelled? 3 or 4 MILLION of us are still waiting for the return of Reunion, which will never happen. How many people have to watch to save a show anyway? Daytime shows run with much less than 3 million. So do late night. Run Reunion then if you have to. I'd DVR it. I can't wait for everything to switch to On Demand, where you just go to the channel and there's a list of all the new shows that week, scroll down and pick one, whenever you want. These channels exist in premium packages now, but not really for the broadcast networks, which is pretty much all I want. Marketability needs to catch up to technology. In other news, Mr. Dailey got nothing done he wanted to do this week because he was too busy searching for when his shows would air. (NOTE: The last line is ficitonal. I have too much to do to figure out when he shows are on)

Qop!
Meg: You believe me, right?
Veronica: You are the last good person here at Neptune High. I believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

Lost

So I've been missing from this blog for nearly a month. I missed two weeks posting! I am sorry people. No, my plane did not go down on a desert island. My computer was captured by a virus, my cell phone was stolen, and I was battling two jobs and going through kitty shots and fixings and dealing with lots of other excuses, none of which exhume me from logging on for ten minutes to give you an update. I'm sorry. To be even ruder, I am only popping in for a quick second today. I have 24 of my 25 chapters written for Book Two, but only have about 15 typed up so I have lots of work to do that I can't wait to get back to. Speaking of the book series, my first official signing will be Monday, March 13 at 7pm at the Hurt Battelle Memorial Library. Check out my web site for more info. Hope to see you there!

Qop!
"Don't write anything down. Don't let anyone take pictures. And if all else fails, Deny Deny Deny!!!" ~ Chick McGee, The Bob & Tom Show (my family will get it:))

24 Season Six

As we were watching 24 tonight, I came up with an absolutely ridiculous idea for 24's sixth (and if they did it) final season. Here is how it would go:
It has been 18 months since Season 5...
6PM-7PM Jack arrives at his hosue to find it dark. Tony is with him. They go in, sneaking through the house in suspicion. Jack pulls out his gun and shoots Edgar as the lights come up for...his bachelor party!
7PM-8PM Edgar has died, but they just party over him as he is too fat to move. Jack starts to get totally blitzed, and dances on the table. Tony, Curtis, Buchanon, Chase, Mike, Aaron, Palmer's brother, and Lynne all party with him.
8PM-9PM The stripper shows up. It's Mrs. Logan! That damn Edgar booked her. What an idiot.
9pm-10PM Jack has gotten so drunk that he sleeps with Kim anyway. She passed out and he and Tony, the only two still standing, head out on the town with only mild protests from Lynne.
10PM-11PM Jack goes to a strip club. Kim is the dancer! Oh, well. He's so drunk he sleeps with her too. Meanwhile Mrs. Logan has awoken and tracked him down. Cat fight.
11pm-12AM Mrs. Logan and Kim have both been injured and taken to CTU hopsital. Jack and Tony keep bar hopping.
12AM-1AM Audrey wakes up and begins to prepare. It takes a lot of time to make her pretty.
1AM-2AM More uproarious partying, more preparing.
2AM-3AM Jack falls down beside Michelle, Terry, Palmer, and all the other character's graves, weeping. Audrey is still primping.
3AM-4AM Some terrorist stuff begins to happen. Chloe shows up and upsets Aubrey when she tells her that she's fucking ugly.
4AM-5AM Jack discovers that Tony is a mole and tortures him.
5AM-6AM Jack discovers Tony is actually a good mole working for Palmer, who isn't really dead.
6AM-7AM Jack takes his new info to Logan, who immediately surrenders the country to France, just in case. Chloe makes a cameo because we miss her.
7AM-8AM Jack stops the terrorists. Audrey is now done with makeup, ready to start hair.
8AM-9AM Mike and Aaron wake up, assume that they were all drugged, and head off to find Mrs. Logan and ask her what happened. Chloe again insults Mrs. Logan
9AM-10AM An evil baker steals the cake. Mrs. Logan is carted off to a mental institution because her husband doesn't believe she is actually a stripper, as he hasn't slept with her in years.
10AM-11AM Jack discovers the evil baker was hired by Edgar, with the help of Chloe. He recovers the cake. Chloe covers him and shoots people.
11AM-12PM Terrorists come back and demand that Jack be handed over to China for execution.
12PM-1PM Jack fights the would-be assasian, the lesbian from every season. She escapes, but we will never see her again.
1PM-2PM Jack defeats China and gets them to surrender to Logan, who is so surprised and startled he surrenders to Ethipopia. Mrs. Logan escapes the mental ward and tries to kill Audrey to win Jack's heart.
2PM-3PM The wedding planner is late and the wedding is in chaos! Jack's friends are all off searching for him, including Tony who has finally been released. They assume he must have died.
3PM-4PM Audrey is told that Jack is dead. A whole day's beauty work is ruined. Jack goes looking for the wedding planner.
4PM-5PM Jack discovers the wedding planner is nine hours away. he makes it to her in 15 minutes.
5PM-6PM Jack's friends arrive at the wedding, Audrey realizes he's alive, Chloe ruins the wedding by opening her mouth, but they get married anyway. Then, because the series is over and the producers want to delight the fans, Chloe kills Kim for no reason.

Qop!
"This epsiode takes place between (insert hour) and (insert hours) on the Day of the California Presidential Primary." ~ 24 Season One Opening
"Beruit, I've been shot!" ~ Beige Queen, 24
"I did it for you, David." ~ Sherry Palmer, 24

Jimmy Dailey and the Ghetto Parking Spot

Once there was a young man name Jimmy Dailey. He did not know he was different from other men, growing up in his closet under the stairs. No, that was not a gay joke. Then one day Jimmy Dailey found the ghetto parking spot and his life changed forever.
Ok, happy Nick and Laura? We were at Lou Al's last night having a great time and there was a ghetto parking spot and they wanted me to write about it. Yay. Done. Now let's move on. :)
Actor's Nightmare Book One continues to sell decently and I am excited to start getting the word out. I have got some very positive feedback on it. Some people don't like the questions that aren't answered. Too bad. Go watch Lost. They don't answer questions either. That's not why I'm doing it. It's a long story that will take 9 books to tell. You won't get all the answers in the first one. Book Two is half done in it's first draft form. For those you waiting excitedly for another chapter in the saga, I'm guessing it will be out next fall. I will give you more details as I have them. Just be assured Auby will not wasted this time, you will get a shocking revelation about a character, several scenes from Book One will be revisited with another side to the story, and of course more of the beloved characters will die. If you have not started the series, why the hell not? Go to www.amazon.com and buy a copy today! Thanks all.

Qop! (from Pat Godwin's Gansta Folk)
I’m Patty G (he’s Patty G) and it’s all good (It’s all good) I'll pop a cap in your ass if you're in my neighborhood (Pat’s neighborhood) You ain't all that my brother What you say about my mother? I'm da bomb this aint no joke It's Gangsta Folk(oh he’s da bomb this aint no joke it’s gangsta folk) Yo dog check it out. My hoochies fly (his hoochies fly) Don’t diss my boo (what is a boo) You’ll end up like you know who (Tupac that’s who) Shout out to all my G’s, What’s up peeps! (Cracker please) I’m dope just take toke it’s gangsta folk (big ass toke) It's Gangsta Folk and we be chillin’ out Puffin’ on da Chronic ‘till we all folked out Ho’s in the hot tub 24/7 Homie aint no lie (nasty ho’s) I the baddest MC my rymes are phatI cock my Glock Beoch (Tru Dat!) Fo shizzle my izzle, dog keep on playin’ (we have no idea what he’s sayin’) I'm da bomb this aint no joke It's Gangsta Folk(oh he’s da bomb this aint no joke it’s gangsta folk) . Woooord!

Four Crumbs Not Emily

So I was watching a few of the mid-season premieres this week. Not too many. I had too many shows this fall, and thankfully some of the good ones got cancelled (Reunion, Threshold, and probably soon Bones) or put on indefinite hiatus (Arrested Development, Joey, and the wildly successful Prison Break and Out of Practice), or just turned out to be the same boring plot every week, despite still being good (Ghost Whisperer, Close to Home). So now with a much slimmer television schedule I have no desire to expand it again. I have too many other things I want to do besides watch tv. Still, I did welcome back Jake in Progress with open arms (it deserves them) and gave three new shows a chance: Emily's Reasons Why Not, Four Kings, and Crumbs. I chose these three because of lead actors: Heather Graham, Seth Green, and Fred Savage. Emily has already been dropped from my schedule. It got bad reviews, and I agree. It is NOT the least bit funny. Kings was great, with four strong actors about buddies sharing an apartment. Plus Seth Green gets lots of short jokes. Always funny. In the premiere they were trying to get him to stuff himself into a dryer. But the best new show is Crumbs.
Fred Savage is great as the main character, a closet gay who left home and moved to L.A. after the unexpected death of one of his brothers. He wrote a screenplay about it, which was well recieved, and began dating his pyschiatrist. He soon realizes that he doesn't have another screenplay in him, is dumped for his boyfriend for being emotionally distant, and returns home. Meanwhile, the mother, played deliciously insane by Jane Curtin, has just been released from a mental institution. After her husband cheated on her, she lost it and tried to run him over with a car. Now she goes back and forth between hoping he'll come home and hating his guts, and gets some action from her doctor, a big black guy named Elvis. And she suspects her son is gay. Despite the doctors in the show all sleeping with their patients, it is good. Fred's other brother has stayed home and in between his one night stands, now sololy runs the family restuarant. He won't talk to Fred because Fred ran off and then made their family story into a movie. Dad, played with a carefree atrtitude by William DeVane, sneaks into the restaurant every night to balance the books correctly, and is expecting a new baby with the restaurant critic that helped him end his marriage. Hmm. The critic is like the doctors. Well, despite the unprofessionalism of the supporting characters, this is a sitcom that makes you laugh and tear up in the same act. Rounding out the four member family and the black boyfriend is a waitress at the restaurant who used to date Fred Savage. Watch it.

Qop! (from "Formidable Opponent" on The Colbert Report, where Stephen debates with himself, split screen style, on an issue, in this case, is charity good?)
Stephen # 1: But, I could take care of my minimal needs and send the rest of the money to the poor.
Stephen #2: Okay, think about this: You could buy a $100,000 Mercedes S600, or you could buy a $10,000 pile of crap from Korea and give the left over 110,000 to...
S1: An orphanage?
S2: Whatever let's you sleep. One day, you go to check on your orphans. It's raining, and you don't have the benefits of that fine German engineering. You spin out of control. You're like a loose lawnmower blade. And what's that ahead? It's your orphans! They've come out into the street to thank you for your selfless gift.
S1 (yelling): Get out of the street orphans!
S2: Oh, I forgot to mention: They're deaf.
S1: Noooooo!
S2: Yes. Yeah, tragedy. Tragedy all because you didn't care enough to make a difference for yourself.
S1: Wow. You've really opened my eyes, Stephen. Say, um, does it have to be a car?
S2: No, it could be a really sweet boat.

1st Week of 2006

Ok, so I don't have anything exciting to post this week. Except Michael J. Fox has been doing better. Yay! The star of Family Ties, Back to the Future series, Teen Wolf, and Spin City has been pretty much out of the public eye since he quit the latter show in 2000 (the show ran until 2002 without him). He's lent his voice to the Stuart Little movies and Disney's forgettable Atlantis, but who doesn't miss seeing him? Damn Parkinson's. Fox will return to the screen this week on the new episode of Boston Legal and will return to movie theatres soon in Back to the Future Part IV. The Future movie was suspended a long time ago because Fox wasn't up for it, but buzz is he will make it. This time we wants to basically take Christopher Lloyd's role. What that means exactly, I don't know. Will he play a character similiar to Doc Brown? Will he still be the same character? We'll find out soon enough. Good news!

Also, in the Strange But True category, I just found out that the guy who perfected the flush mechanism on our toilets was named Thomas Crapper. He died in 1910. I'm serious. His name was Crapper. How awesome is that?

Qop! (from Back to the Future)
Doc Brown: Tell me future boy, who's President of the United States in 1985?
Marty: Ronald Reagan.
Doc Brown: Ronald Regan? The actor? Then who's Vice President? Jerry Lewis?

It's 2006

No, really, it is. I am appropriately drunk and at a friends' apartment. I was at several parties tonight, but I ended at one with all women (except for me), so that's cool. Many kisses at midnight. Just not from someone special. :( That's ok. I present my New Year's resolutions for 2006:
1. Get my full teaching lisence
2. Be in a serious relationship
3. Lose at least 20 pounds
4. Sell 1,000 copies of my book
5. Do something I have never done before but always wanted to

Sound good? Feel free to post your resolutions as a comment. That would be cool. See you all later and have a great 2006!

Qop!
"15...14...13...12...11...10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1! Happy New Year's! 2006!" ~ Everyone

Feliz Holimas

Ok, so I promised to post more this month than last, and I think I fulfilled that obligation. This is my 4th posting this month, wheras in November I only posted twice. This month you get TWICE as many of my thoughts. Considering some months I posted 10 or 12 times, this makes me sad. However, considering that that was during my brief period of one job, no classes, no life, I don't think it's fair to expect 10-12. So I am setting my 2006 goal at once a week. You'll get 4 or 5 posts a month. Fair enough?

So I probably missed the boat on the Holiday / Christmas debate, but I want to throw in my two cents worth: Holiday means Holy Day! How does that stop offending people? If you were afraid Merry Christmas offends, than you are probably still offending. Besides, Christmas is part of the American tradition. It has been going on for centuries. Suck it up people. Deal with it. It is laregly celebrated in this country as a secular holiday anyway, focusing more on Santa Claus, presents, and family than Jesus Christ. So how does it offend? Plus this country was based on religious principals "In God We Trust" "One Nation Under God", etc. Get over it. We let anyone freely practice their religion, don't take away American Christian traditions from the rest of us. My grandpa said he was going to go into stores and say "Oh, you have Holiday trees / presents/ whatever? I was looking for Christmas trees/ presents/whatever." and walk out. Good idea. :)

And while we're on the topic of tradition, I am very sorry we never made English the official language. I am no opposed to legal immigration. Illegal...well we need to do something about the Mexican situation. But anyway. The thing is, you come into America, LEARN ENGLISH! I can even see Texas and California and such with their semi-bilingualness. Those lands used to be part of Mexico. But if you're working in Columbus, Ohio in say, I don't know, the kitchen at Steak N Shake, you need to learn to speak English! Us Caucasions are rapidly heading towards minority status, and tell us it will happen in the next few decades in this country. Let's make Enligh the language now. We've alwasy spoken it. If I went down to Tijuana and got a job I'd learn Spanish. Come on people!

Anyway, Feliz Holimas. See you all in 2006.

Qop!
"We're sorry Monica. Chandler's cheating on you. We saw him go into a house with a blond woman and they came out in 45 minutes looking pretty happy."
"I'm devasted. What did you think of the house?"
~Friends, the gang to Monica, when they catch Chandler with the realtor, which Monica and Chandler have kept a secret

Bonus Qops!
"What a surprise, I like proposals!" ~ Ross, referring to his 3 marriages

"You should give the money for your next wedding to charity."
"No, the fourth one will be in Hawaii at sunset. Maybe the 5th." ~ Friends, Phoebe and Ross

Holiday Cheer

I am right now pretty...under the influence...at my friend Lisa's Holiday Cheer party. She has been calling it that for years, and it has nothing to do with this absurd campaign to insult Christmas, so don't think that. Anyway her shots and wonderful punch have left me feeling happy so I figured I would wirte something. I got champagne and Godiva chocolate in the gift exchange. Yay! I am correcting all my typos (I think) so don't hate me if I make one. Go buy my book! Also, John Spencer died. He played Leo on The West Wing. No more Leo. I am so sad. Who's gonna be Vice President now? Anyway, back to drinking some more. Merry Christmas!

Qop!
"Where's Leo? Has anyone seen Leo?" ~ people on The West Wing when they couldn't find Leo last season cause he had an attack in the woods after he was fired

My Alias

My book is selling ok so far...keep buying people! :) Go to www.amazon.com and search the title An Actor's Nightmare to purchase your copy today! Anyway, other than that I have been working my butt off. Still pulling full time hours at Steak N Shake and substituting every day (except not today because it was a snow day, which disappointed me). But the reason for my entry:
Alias is finally coming to an end. It was inevitable, and I said all summer this should be it's last season. However, they did a major cast overhaul and there were so many ways to go with it so I was finally getting comfortable with the idea that the show would go on. That and Jennifer Garner supposedly signed a contract to take the show through 2007. Then the bad news comes around Thanksgiving. This will indeed be Alias's last season. Now they are rocketing towards one exicitng closer! Vaughn is dead, and Irena is back! Or is Vaugh dead? Maybe? Some of my friends think not. Something is going on with Sydney's baby, and now Prophet Five and SD-6 are connected! Yes, this is going to be one well of a season. If they could just bring back Weiss and Marshall's wife I'd be happier. Oh, well. Here we go!
P.S. The rumor out is that Star Trek XI will focus on the mirror universe and star William Shatner and Patrick Stewart, and possibly Scott Bakula. Anyone else afraid of this concept?
P.P.S. Go Eva Longaria for being included with the rest of the Housewives in this year's Golden Globes nominations, and Candence Bergen for her nomination. Also props to My Name Is Earl and the much better than last season Grey's Anatomy. Now will they halt the possible cancellation of Arrested Development? I mean, we're going to get Justine Bateman fod goodness sakes! Fox, don't cancel it!!!

Qop!
WILLOW: Promise me you'll never be linear.
OZ: On my trout.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Choices"

James Dailey, The Author

My uncle introduced me to his friends as James Wetzel Jerome Dailey, the author. Boy that felt weird. I'd love to write about something else because I'm sure everyone is tired of my talking about the book all the time, but to tell you the truth, it's about all that's been on my mind. Sorry. The first few days saw some sales, which made me happy. I'm still waiting for the first weekend's numbers to come in. We'll see what those bring. But since I have yet to be out promoting it, I'm trying to think low key for now. Still, it is so exciting. I am going to be featured in Otterbein's Monthly Alumni Newsletter as the alumni of the month sometime soon. I don't know when, but they did the interview already. How cool is that? Plus the Hurt Battelle Memorial Library in West Jeff is setting up an event for me in March, and going to try to get the local high school English classes involved. I'm really excited about that one. Anyone else have any ideas, feel free to let me know! Anyway, that's all I'm writing for today. Take care!

Qop!
Kate Harper (Mary Montgomery), The West Wing: " We have a contingency plan to invade Canada?"