What About Jim?

Ok, so go ahead and make fun of me for my TV watching habits. I understand. Lately I have been watching a lot of tv, and if you don't realize why, go back and read my previous post. I picked up four new shows recently. What can I say? Spring break let me catch up and made me feel like I had time for new stuff, which I most definitely do not. I started a new part time job today and now I am working 65+ hours per week, so tv time is about plummet. No big deal there. So new shows. Free Ride is mildly entertaining. So is Pepper Dennis. The Loop is freakin' hilarious. What About Brian? is great. I thought it was a new JJ Abrams show, but while he produced it, he did not create it. It has a good cast including Rosanna Arquette from The Whole Nine Yards. The problem with the show is how the characters take relationships for granted. The plot focuses on 7 characters: six couples and Brian. One couple has been married for thirteen years with two little kids, but haven't had sex since their last baby was born six months ago. The wife has decided to have an open marriage. At first the guy is ticked, but now is kinda starting to go along with it, except he tells all potential lays about his wife and kids. I hate this plot. I want to be married, and I don't want it to ever be six months in between. I certainly would be very upset if my wife suggested an open marriage, even though she claims she'll never leave her husband and loves him. Another couple just got engaged and talk about how they are upset about not ever sleeping with other people again. Again, I am pissed at these characters. The third couple is having problems having a baby, but are devoted. That couple is one reason I watch the show. The main reason is Brian. He's this nice sweet guy who would treat a woman right, like me. Although my friends aren't all getting married, in fact none of them are, I feel like Brian because I feel like I am behind the game. To be perfectly honest, I'm not financially stable enough for marriage yet anyway so it's probably a good thing I'm single. But I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I think things are starting to look up for me. At least, I hope so. If only I could sell more copies of my book, but I'm working on it. The main difference between Brian and I is that he can easily get girls, which I never have been able to do. Plus his friends set him up all the time. Come on people! Set me up. :) The thing that bothered me about Brian in tonight's episode though is that he went after a date's roommate. That ticked me off and made me lose respect for him. Still, I'll keep watching.
I also finally watch the finale of Dawson's Creek last night. WONDERFUL.

Qop! (Jenn's speech to her baby as she is dying from the finale of Dawson's Creek)
Hi, Amy, it's mom. Well, by the time you see this, I won't be here anymore, and I know how much that sucks, for both of us. So seeing as how I won't be around to thoroughly annoy you, I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you. Well, there's the obvious. An education. Family. Friends. And a life that is full of the unexpected. Be sure to make mistakes. Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right? And, um, I want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream, and I insist that you, my girl, be a dreamer. God. I've never really believed in god. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists. But I hope that you are able to believe in god, because the thing that I've come to realize, sweetheart... is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for you to believe in something, because I promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always. And then there's love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you, I promise, and when you least expect it, like you, like spending the best year of my life with the sweetest and the smartest and the most beautiful baby girl in the world. You don't be afraid, sweetheart. And remember, to love is to live.

Musings Part 1,383,292... or so it seems :)

So I've been watching Dawson's Creek (Lisa, you can read this. I won't spoil anything). The final season came out and of course I'm addicted to watching it, and of course being emotionally moved, sometimes to tears, as Dawson often does to me. But instead of getting into that, because I don't want to spoil anything for Lisa, I've been thinking about my life and intrests. When I was younger, I read constantly. I was incluenced greatly by Judy Blume, Beverly Clearly, Bruce Coville, Lynn Reid Banks, L. Frank Baum... and then later by Peter David, J.K. Rowling, Diane Carey, and many others. It was probably part of the reason I turned to writing. I wrote my first chapter book in 3rd grade. I have been writing ever since. In contrast, tv meant very little to me. A couple of years ago, however, I discovered what great storytelling can exist on tv. Yes, I still do enjoy the occasional dumb sitcom, but my fascination with tv stems from my fascination with storytelling, not because I'm a couch potato junkie. I couldn't imagine tv shows as good as books until I discovered Star Trek: Deep Space 9, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dawson's Creek, Firefly, Felicity, Lost, 24, and a host of others. The people that create this stuff (Joss Whedon, Ira Steven Behr, J.J. Abrams, etc.) are every bit as good a writer as the authors I loved. The actors they choose bring their stories to life, and while I still love books, there's a lot to be said for television, which is now in it's renaisance. Especially the serial series. When I was writing my first published book, I was just starting to discover the tv world. I think it did influence my writing. I imagined that book as a television season, and I would be thrilled beyond measure if someday it became one. I like to tell a serial story, where the part fit together, the story goes on for years, but it's one long story. One that is complicated, with characters that grow and change. I don't think I'm awesome at it, but I'm not ashamed of my first book, and I think my stories will continue to get better. I live life through my stories since I'm not leading the life I dream of. If I'm lucky, someday I will get to. We'll see. If you haven't read my book, please do so, then if you like it tell everyone. I will follow my dream of telling stories. In the meantime, I'm back to Dawson and watching others' stories. I need to know what's going to happen to Dawson, Joey, Pacey, Jenn, Jack, Grams, Todd, Audrey, Natasha, and the rest!

Qop! (from Season Six of Dawson's Creek)
Joey: Dawson, I'm sorry I don't have the same dreams I had when I was 15 years old, and I'm sorry that I moved on faster than you did, but you know what? Maybe not everything that happens to you is my fault! And maybe just because I want more from my life than...
Dawson: More than what? More than us? You don't know, do you? You've never known. The entire time I've known you, all you've wanted to do is escape. From me, from Capeside. I mean, you say that I'm the dreamer. I'm the one who doesn't wanna live in the real world. Well, I'm doing it, Joey. Right now. I'm living in the real world. It's you who wants the fantasy

Dawson's Creek

THIS DOES NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS TO THE OVERALL SERIES, ALTHOUGH IT OUTLINES ONE EPISODE THAT DOES NOT BEAR INTO ANY LONG TERMS OF 5th SEASON ARCS. IT IS SAFE TO READ, LISA! I have been watching the Dawson's Creek DVDs for quite some time now. When I got Season 5 a few months ago, I had been excited to watch it but it wasn't until this week when I got the chance. I have always regarded the show as a bit trashy and was slightly embarrassed that I liked it and was addicted to it, but I couldn't help myself. I'm a sucker for sappy stuff, even over the top dramatic high school angst, which is odd considering no girl even looked at me in high school and I didn't experience the angst myself. Still, I have since had relationships and I can really feel for the characters, even if they seem to young to be going through things. Today, however, I watched an episode of Dawson's Creek which changed my mind about the show forever.

The episode was called "Downtown Crossing" and was focused only on 3 characters: Joey (Katie Holmes), a mugger, and the mugger's wife, played by Merecedes McNab of Buffy and Angel fame. The first part of the episode concentrated on the mugger taunting Joey, pulling a gun on her, stealing all her money out of her account, her cell phone, and even her coat. Obviously they could not use the normal cheery theme song so a dark one was put in it's place that just flashed the main actor's names, even though Joey was the only one in it. The mugger finally left her alone, and despite her smart ass mouth and a kick to his head, he didn't harm her. She tried walking home in the snow with no coat and it was sad. Then the mugger showed up and waved at her, just to get hit by a car moments later. Instead of running off, after getting her coat and things back, Joey calls an ambulance and stays with the man, talking to him about his family. She begins to compare the man, who is also a drug dealer, to her father, and feels sorry for him. At the hospital, his separated wife and daughter show up and the parallels between her father and the mugger continue to build. When the wife finds out who Joey is and the circumstances surrounding the accident, she leaves. The wife wants nothing to do with the mugger, but the daughter adores her father. They leave, and Joey is the only one who can stand by the mugger as he dies and they talk about her father and why he did what he did. In the end, Joey sees the wife and daughter one last time. The daughter innocently asks "Did my Daddy do something bad to hurt you?" Joey looks at the girl and says "No, he saved my life." She preceeds to tell the child that the mugger actually pushed her out of the way of the car, then silently Joey despoits her money in the wife's purse as she leaves. This episode made me feel and even cry for a drug dealer!!! I don't care how cheesy the show is. Only brilliant writing can pull that off. Amazing.

Oh, and I also discovered that Joshua Jackson (Pacey) directed an episode and Robert Duncan McNeil (Paris from Star Trek: Voyager) directed several. And Dawson's mom was the virgin in Caesar times from Mel Brooks' History of the World Part I! I love www.imdb.com!

Dawson's Creek 1998-2003
Starring: With
James Van Der Beek as Dawson Leery
Katie Holmes as Joey Potter
Michelle Williams as Jen Lindley
Joshua Jackson as Pacey Witter
Mary Beth Piel as Grams
Kerr Smith as Jack McPhee
Meredith Monroe as Andie McPhee
Busy Phillips as Audrey Liddell
With
Mary Margaret Humes as Gail Leery
John Wesley Ship as Mitch Leery
Nina Repeta as Bessie Potter
Monica Keena as Abby Morgan

Qop! (Dawson's Creek - throughout the series)
"What about you, Joe? Are you a virgin?"
"You kidding? Years ago. Trucker named Bubba." ~ Jen (Michelle Williams) & Joey (Katie Holmes)

BONUS QOP!s
" You know, this town is the absolute embodiment of dull. Apart from the occasional sex scandal provided by yours truly, nothing happens here." ~ Pacey (Joshua Jackson)

" You mean that you guys would rather watch a movie about something than actually doing it yourselves?"
"Correct." ~ Andie (Meredith Monroe) and Dawson & Joey (James Van Der Beek & Holmes)

"Emilio Estevez. He was in those Ducks movies. Man, those were the best." ~ Pacey (Jackson, who starred in the Ducks movies with Estevez)

"Good teachers are just traumatized students trying to erase whatever went wrong with their own high school experience." ~ Jack (Kerr Smith)

"Tell ya what, grams. I'll go to church with you when you say the word penis." ~ Jen

"Wait a second. You're taking romantic advice from a guy who spent his evening trying to get 3 snails to sleep together?" ~ Joey (referring to Pacey's attempt to create a snail menage-a-troi)

"I make a cancer joke and Joey gets mad, or I make a crazy joke and Andie gets upset, or I make a joke about ho-bags and Jen starts humping the couch." ~ Abby

"I mean, you did just nude-up with the guy. Oh, I'm sorry, or did you guys do it through a hole in a sheet because that's very Dawson and Joey to me." ~ Audrey

"You and I are meant to be together, Joey. Period. The end. Cue happy-ending music." ~ Dawson (NOT at the end of the series)

June Part II

I am so sorry that I have not updated much this month. Only twice in fact. And I doubt I will update again in June. I am almost turning into Jonathan! :) Things have just been hectic, and as I don't have my own place or own internet connection, I will be infrequent for the next month, maybe two, so don't expect lots more posts. July and maybe August will probably be just as sad. I say that for August because even though I am hoping to find a place by then, I will be working, filming a movie, and moving in, so don't expect too much. Anyway, here are some highlights of the last few weeks:
*House sitting at my aunt and uncle's ROCKS!!!
*Felicity makes me cry. Thanks a lot Lisa. It's worse than Dawson's Creek. Or better. Whatever. Weiss is great and I love Amy Jo, the Pink Ranger.
*Hanging out with my older sister, whom I have had very infrequent contact with in my life and none at all in the last four years. It was awesome. I think the infrequent thing is gonna change. Major coolness.
*Finding out I am eligibile to substitute next year! I am gonna try Westerville, Pickerington, Grove Port, and West Jeff for now. We'll see how it all goes.
*Thanks for everyoe who has come and visited me: Amanda and Adam (lots of great Buffy nights), Jon, Brandon, Nick, Sabra, Andrea, Jnel, Krystina, Liz, Travis.
*Video games with Jonathan and Lisa last thursday. OREGON TRAIL!! Haha, you two died of measels! I overcame my dysentary! and I now really want to keep playing Resident Evil. Sorry, Jonathan, about Mario Party. I seriously doubt it will ever happen again.
*Team America ROCKS!!!
*Tune into the new seasons of Family Guy & Reno 9-1-1!

Ok, enough, see you all later! Give me a call or e-mail me you out of towners!

Qop!
"We are blameless! We've given him two types of fruit!" ~ Jon Stewart on The Daily Show talking about Bush

Great Actors

Great actors can make you feel great emotions. For instance, I went and saw Ice Princess yesterday with Jenn. The story was stupid and most of the actors were terrible. And yet the three lead actresses had me in tears. Michelle Trachtenberg, Kim Catrall, and Joan Cusack are all three amazing, not that I didn't know that! I think Michelle might make my very short list of actress I would love to be with. Which, I have thought about some more, and here is my official top (and only) ten:

10. Anne Hathaway (The Princess Diaries, Ella Enchanted)
9. Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Scooby Doo)
8.Cameron Diaz (The Sweetest Thing, There's Something About Mary)
7.Michelle Trachtenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Eurotrip, Harriet the Spy)
6. Alicia Witt (Mr. Holland's Opus, Cybill)
5.Amy Acker (Angel, Catch Me If You Can, Wishbone)
4.Zoey Deschanel (Almost Famous, Elf, The Hithhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
3. Alyson Hannigan (American Pie trilogy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
2. Sarah Silverman (School of Rock, Greg the Bunny, Star Trek: Voyager)
1. Meredith Monroe (Dawson's Creek, Minority Report)

Qop!
"Is that it? Am I done?"
~Glenn Quinn as Francis Doyle on Angel, as videotaped and shown at the end of his final episode, "Hero"

Am I Missing Anything?

After watching several more episodes of Dawson's Creek, and thinking about other similiar shows and movies, I have to wonder, did I miss a major part of my life? For instance, I don't feel I had a "first love" who I will always love. I've fallen in love twice, both in college, and neither lasted, and only one is friendly, although I don't speak to her much. The other isn't even civil, despite efforts at an olive branch. But I gave that up awhile ago. But anyway, back to the point. I missed all the high school romance. I had a couple of crushes, but only one I thought may have been interested back, until I found out she liked girls. I don't have that solid 'group' of friends either. I have friends with varying degrees of closeness, but who do I share everything with? Who do I go to when I'm upset? There isn't one person or a group of persons. It is someone different every time, or more often no one. I crave that 'friend group'. I've drifted in and out of a couple over the years, but never was fully accepted. Am I missing important parts of my life? Or is this normal and I just don't want to believe it is because I want my life to be more like tv? Hmm. Isolation strikes again. Am I antisocial? I don't want to be. I love being social.

BTW, this is much more an introspective entry than a depressed entry, so please don't worry or leave comments telling me not to worry about it. I appreciate the sentiment, but that's not what I'm looking for right now.

Etc.

So after scanning through everyone's blogs and catching up, instead of going to class, I found I had much more to write about it. I did the Presidential Match thing and got a 66% on Kerry and a 16% on Bush. Tell you what, all you Bush fans. I'll save us both some trouble. Since our votes are going to cancel out each other anyway, you tell me that you're voting for Bush and we'll both stay home. Deal? :) Hey, if you're voting for Bush and only have the brain power he had, you'd fall for that. :) Anyway, I attended the Circleville Pumpkin Show on Friday night and forgot to write about it. Otterbein Marching Band was the featured band this year. We did a concert and basically led the parade. Big whoop. They want us back in 2 years for their big 200th anniversary. We'll see.

Now, onto my geeky things. Lisa put hers out there, so I feel it is only fair.

Shows I am obsessed with: all 5 Star Trek's, especially Deep Space 9. Buffy, Angel, Alias, hopefully soon 24, Lost, & Desperate Houswives. I hate reality television, but am strangely drawn to watching it. I love Joey, Friends, Will & Grace, M*A*S*H, Sports Night, the West Wing, Wonder Years, South Park, Saturday Night Live, Futrama, Family Guy, Dawson's Creek, Boy Meets World, Full House, and I'm sure there are more, including some flops like Cybill, Once & Again, and It's Like, You Know...

Counting each TV Season as one DVD, I own about 400 and they are all categorized and then alphabetized, plus I keep a computer list of title, rating, genra, and major actors as well as photos to prove I own them all for insurance purposes. I have two TVs (one flatscreen), two DVD players, one VCR, and one surround sound system. I am technology obsessed.

I actually identify with Dawson, a fact I am often not proud to admit.

I am anal. Just about myself though, not about others.

I think books are sacred and probably own almost a thousand of them. I want to have a library in my house someday.

I own many, many, many Star Trek collectibles and action figures, including a set of 3 worth several thousand dollars and two big cardboard cutouts of Kirk & Spock from Star Trek V. These are almost all at my parent's house, but I want a Star Trek room in my house too.

I have three large Buffy posters on my apartment bedroom wall, an Enterprise poster in the dining room, and the actual posters that hung in Monica's apartment on Friends in my living room.

I have an almost photographic memory for details, numbers, etc. but I don't remember what I did an hour ago.

I hate drugs. I don't even take Tylenol unless I desperately desperately need it.

I am afraid of becoming an alcoholic because I love it so much. The only other thing I am afraid of is the supernatural. I can handle murders, but keep the ghosts away.

I would never go to war, even if I had to go to Canada.

I have a strange urge to live in the UK for awhile.

When I am in a relationship, I never look at any other girl. This includes celebrities, few of which I find attractive anyway. Plastic is disgusting. Go for the real thing.

A lot of times, I like to isolate myself and feel upset. I do this willingly from time to time because I want to.

Money scares me too. I am getting better about saving, but paying rent and college loans and still buying stuff is scary.

I don't see myself with a bright future. I'm beginning to think my only hope is if people will actually buy the books I am writing.

I am twisted and take great fascination with killing my characters because I know they're fictional. I have drowned people in Roller Coaster Tycoon for fun. Life isn't so meaningless in reality to me. I love people and death makes me very sad.

I am afraid of becoming numb. Sometimes I don't think I feel enough. Perhaps this explain why I willingly isolate myself and make myself upset.

And The End because I am too embarassed to continue.

Britney who?

OK, before I write about my various shows and things, I just have to say please, please, please if you have any sense of decency vote 'no' on Issue One. I mean seriously, who are we kidding? Protecting marriage? Go after Britney Spears-Federline-Whateverthefuckhernameisthisweek. The gays don't threaten marriage! Also, vote for Kerry and vote yes on Issue 106 (the zoo levy).

Ok, so it has been a busy week. I did watch a couple of movies - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and the Tao of Steve. The first one was all right, not as good as I had hoped. The second one rocked and I got a new quote. "Slackers are great. Doing stuff is highly overrated. Look at Hitler. He did lots of stuff, but don't we all wish he would have just sat home and gotten high?" Granted, I don't get high but it was still funny. I just finished my re-watch of Buffy Season 2 with my friends. Yeah, I had forgotten how many times Jonathan was around early on, and how sad the finale of Season 2 really is. On my own time, I am steamrolling through Dawson's Creek Season 4 and with the death of Mr. Brooks and everything, it is getting harder to get through. Also, go Dawson on dating a 21 year old! I dated a 22 year old at 18 and I sometimes get a bit nostalgic for those days. I need to find another older woman to date. :) Anyway, almost done with that and then onto Alias 3! Also, has anyone been taping Desperate Housewives? I really want to watch it.

Miscellaneous

I am tired of mostly writing about movies and television shows, but that is a lot more exciting than my life. In fact, it has almost become my life in the past 16 months. I guess I used television as a replacement for a love life, which is good and bad. It also a medium I have fallen in love with and am not willing to give up. I could possibly cut back a little, but not too much because I often feel behind now. And honestly, I get more out of tv than just sitting and watching. I used to be very into movies, and thought tv was a step below but the more shows I watch, the more I am fascinated by the writing and acting choices, the directing, and a million other things I won't go into right now because it will get boring. And a thought just occured to me. I guess I'm a bit like Dawson Leery. I now definitely think about what it would be like to be a Joss Whedon or a JJ Abrahms or someone who makes wonderful tv shows, and I can't stop myself from thinking about how I could make my Actor's Nightmare book series into a tv show. I don't think a movie would do the book justice, and with more coming as I'm editing the first book and beginning the second, I would just love to do a tv show and make each chapter an episode (22 in a season). Do a book a season. Anyway, a pipe dream that may or may not ever happen.

Thank goodness. The fire alarm finally stopped. Yes, I know I should exit my apartment when the fire alarm goes off. I know I could get in trouble by staying inside. Honestly I went out when it went off, but after checking with the people that set it off and knowing everything was ok, I came back. I only have five more minutes until band and I wanted to get a journal entry in. I am doing pretty good on this two-a-week thing recently and I want to keep up at least that often, more if I can. But it is really hard to write and be introspective with a piercing alarm going off in my ears.

Ok, well my mandatory tv/movie update. I watched Van Hesling: London Adventure. Pretty good, but not nearly as good as Van Helsing the movie. The London Adventure is a cartoon prequel with all the original voices that was released on dvd the week the movie hit theatres. I also finished watching Alias Season Two. Can I say blown away? AWESOME! It keeps getting better and better. I also watch the first four episodes of Dawson's Creek Season 4. That show is great. I watched the best episode to date. It was called "Two Gentlemen of Capeside". Dawson and Pacey haven't been friend since last season when Pacey and Dawson hooked up, but when Pacey and Jenn get caught in a storm on Pacey's boat, he goes into a cove knowing Dawson will know where he is and come save him. Despite Dawson's hatred for Pacey right now, he does save him! And that's only the first half of the episode! Tear-jerker!

Shit. I have to leave for band in 1 minute and I haven't checked my e-mail. Bye all!

How to Get a Guy in 10 Days

I love chick flicks. I admit this. I am a sucker for romantic comedies and my heart has been tugged by many of them. I just saw one of the best in awhile. It could have been the mood I was in, but it really got to me. "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" was sweet, frustrating, romantic, and it tore me up. I need a romance like in the movies. Maybe minus all the crap they go through, but it would be worth it for true love. To be perfectly honest, some of the stuff Kate Hudson pulled in that movie, I found cute, not annoying. Of course after a week or so it was probably way too early for that type of thing to come up. Still... I am so lonely and so happy because of the warm ending, but I... I don't know. I would really like a relationship. I have been single for 16 months, not even a date. I'm picky and I'm not willing to settle, but it would be nice for someone great to come my way... If anyone sees someone, send them my way. :)

Now, to continue the heartache, Season 4 of Dawson's Creek!

Alias

I never gave Alias it's due and I'm sorry. After sleeping from about 3:30pm Tuesday until about 3am Wednesday, then getting a ton of crap done on Wednesday because I had the day off, I finally got back into Alias, where I had left off 5 episodes into Season 2. I always considered it a good show, but it kicks ass! I am one episode away from "Phase One" now and I can't stop. Of course, I have seen that all important episode, but I am getting so excited about it. Can't wait to finish Seasons 2 & 3 and 4 premieres in January! Then I still have yet to watch Lost (although I've recorded every episode) and am weeks behind on Smallville and Enterprise (again, I have them on tape), and Season 4 of Dawson's Creek just arrived in the mail...ahh! Gotta go!

Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Normalcy

For anyone that knows me, you know that every so often (like once a week) I have some depressed time where I ponder everything in my life and dwell on the past. For those of you not used to this part of me, know that I am 95% happy, healthy, and like my life. I finally like myself and what I've accomplished and can appreciate it. It was something I struggled with for years. My low self-esteem has even approved. I am no longer willing to change for someone. However, after watching Season 3 of Dawson in about 5 days and injesting half a bottle of rum (it was a small bottle and I mixed it with coca-cola!), plus I am listening to BNL's Brian Wilson (the live recording from their Columbus concert in July - it rocked!) I am in one of those moods.
Mainly, this stuff sets in after watching sappy stuff. I hate being alone and am a hopeless romantic. This combination is not good. I have a few friends whom I would date but aren't interested, but I truly believe I have not met the right person yet. I also believe (or try to believe) I will meet that person, hopefully sooner rather than later. I had a life plan since Kindergarten. By 20, maybe earlier, I would begin to date a wonderful woman. At 22 we would get engaged, at 23 I would be married (my mom married at 23) and by 26 or so I would have a child. I want a daughter. :) Well, I have dated two girls in my life. The first lasted a little under six months, was wonderful, but I realize we weren't right for each other and I wish her the best. The second, whom I always refer to as WB, was a terrible and traumatic experience that was strung out well over a year and resulted in several breakups and me being strung along, and then another year to get over her. I half believe she is the antichrist since she fools many people and I actually lost some friends over her. Oh, well. Maybe they weren't my real friends anyway. I found out this afternoon that she will be living locally, which also upset me a lot. I counted the days until she left town hoping I would never see her again, but I guess I'm going to have to put up with seeing her occasionally. I'm just glad I'm over her, although I hate the negative feelings the sight of her invokes.
Anyway, this isn't about her. This is about me. I am afraid from time to time I will be in my mid-20's and not married, which I feel is too late. I wanted to be married by 23. I know the national average is now more like 28, which I feel is far too late for me. And yet I am happy. I have a good life. I am very unsure about my career and can't wait to get my degree from Otterbein, but I'm actually liking my job in the pizza shop again (I started hating it when I dated WB. Hmm.) and I just finished writing an actual book which I hopeto gte published. Anyone want to proofread for me? Well, I am going to sit here and drink a little more, just slack off. Afterall, after today I probably won't get a day off for months. Come stop by and see me some time. Despite my little bad mood ramble, I feel so much better after writing and am slowly getting into a good mood again. I'd like to have some friends around about now. Join me, will you?

Also, we ARE having a big New Year's Eve party this year, and unlike last year it WILL be formal, even if Tim and I are the only ones in tuxes. Mark your calendars!

Dawson's Creek

Ok, this really sucks. You know reality television, where you realize that you are watching is absolute shit, but you can't help but keep watching anyway to find out what happens? I find myself comparing Dawson's Creek to that. Don't get me wrong. I actually LIKE the characters on Dawson's Creek. It is just a show that really pisses me off. I have three episodes to watch in Season 3 (DVD rocks!), but I am getting more frustrated by the minute. Hardly an episode goes by without me tearing up or yelling at my television. Why can't Dawson, Pacey, and Joey all get along? Why did Andy, who was the first television character I fell in love with, cheat on Pacey and then on the PSATs and totally screw everything up? Why can't Jack accept that his father is trying to accept him and then meet him halfway? Why can't Dawson's parents make up their divorced little minds about what they mean to each other? I hate this show with a vengenance! I am going to go watch the end. Have a nice day.