April Fool's

Happy birthday Grandma! 76 years young today.

I walked into Champps tonight to discover a disturbing notice posted on the office door. Apparently there will be a meeting next Saturday morning at 7am, mandatory to all employees. It announced that Champps had been bought out and our location was to be renamed U-Cinema Bar & Grill. Made sense to me. We were right in front of a movie theater, afterall. The notice went on to say there would be hour changes, menu changes, and of course, theme changes. We would each be required to choose three characters from movies or television shows to dress up as. At this point, most of the staff stopped reading and began to loudly complain. Several threatened to work out when they read this. I kept reading and learned that a small stage would be installed, and every hour we would be required to perform skits and scenes. This is when a little bell went off in my head that today was April 1st. April Fool's Day. So as gullible as I am, I didn't fall for it nearly as much as many others, who only half read it. Still, mad props to TJ, for a fantastic April Fool's prank.

Qop!
"She said Paolo lies." ~ Hurley, Lost
(she actually said 'paralyzed' are they dead???)

Saturday, April 1

So, yeah I have a girlfriend now. And I'm not longer a virgin. And guess what? We're getting married. We're eloping in June as soon as school gets out.

In other news, I have decided to quit teaching and move to a hippie nudist buddist camp. No more school for me. I'm going to be a blacksmith. Cool, huh? There will be no tv or internet there, so better write me quick before it's too late.

So I've been getting bugged about what's going to happen next in my book, so here it is. You're going to find out that the geese are actually midget polar bears in costumes and no one is dead. The nuclear weapons just mutated everyone and they now roam the countryside eating brains. Also, Vince is gay and he and Romey are totally doing it, Auby and Wesley are too, and Walt is a crossdresser. Tommy is actually a cool actor who worships scientology and Dr. Smith's secret base is located in (GASP!) Atlantis! The series will end after Katie has sex with a goose and their offspring is a polar bear and they figure it all out, only to have aliens show up and blow up the planet.

Oh, yeah, and check the date again, because it's April Fools!!! Seriously, though, if you believed the stuff above, you deserve to be fooled.

Qop!
"After that, everyone treated me a lot different, except my sister. She must have belong to a group bigger and meaner than the Mafia. What's that, maybe Jehovah's Witnesses?" ~ A Girl Name Zippy

Drunken Jesus Gaypants

Ok, so my title today my offend some people. I hope it doesn't as it is intended soley as a joke. Well, sort of. You see, my birthday this year, while on Saturday, and during spring break, falls the day before Easter Sunday. You see my dilema about a party? So I will be having it the following Friday, the Friday of Spring Quarter Week One for all your Otterbeiners, and April Fool's Day (April 1st) for everyone else. Obviously this occasion calls for something way more than normal festivities. So it is going to be a toga party. And a Last Supper-themed party. Weird enough for you yet? I am going to try to get goblets to drink our "wine" or whatever out of. Scott Henning will appear as Jesus and I will be John or Mary Magdalen. Which is it in that famous painting? We'll pose for the Last Supper, take pictures of us performing lewd acts, and get totally wasted! Sound like fun? Mark your calendars.

Also, I updated other parts of my web site! I know it's been months since I did that, but I'm up late anyway and it seemed like a good idea. Check it out.

Qop! (from my friend Michael during a recent viewing of 24, when Tony & Jack were talking:)
"Hey, remember that time we both fucked Nina?"